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Alright since dave, dero, and crono were so interested i had to post this...i was gonna do it anyway 
so i get home from work and the phone rings and i was like cool so it was my freinds sister
i answer the phone and her and her friends want me to come hang out and so i was like fuuuuck ya! so i go get the girls (4 of them) and roll up to a party they didn't drink or anything so i really didn't think i was gonna get any 
then there was a fight at the party and it got all broken up so we went back to my friends sisters house and it was hot as hell in the house so i take off my sweat shirt and the girls were like "your so muscley let me see your muscles" i was humble about it "no i don't have muscles" etc.... so they finally talk me into flexing and of course i do and ones like dam thats the size of my head i was all proud and shit so we all chill there and then they wanted a ride back to their other friends house so i'm like cool and ones like give me a ride to my house to so i'm cool so i drop off the 3 girls then i drive the other girl to her house we were saying bye then she gives me a hug then jumps on me like white on rice on a paper plate in a snow storm i was like fuck ya but my dumb ass didn't put the car in park so i take my foot off the brake. so i notice that the car is rolling and slam on the brake she goes flyin off the seat fuck thought i killed the moment that time but no i didn't so we get to work then i get to the bra mother fuger! 
can't they make those things with velcrow or somethin serious so after 10 minutes of double hand bra undoing i finally get the shit undone then we get goin. i'm gettin the condom on SNAP!! the condom breaks the only condom i have 
!! so i was like mother fucker this shit ain't endin this way so i'm like were goin to 7-11 put our cloths on shirt on backwards ripped pants cause she didn't do the zipper all the way on my pants hair messed up all sweat i come pealing out around the coner by the 7-11 the guys out side smokin i run in past him grab a pack of condoms we start laughin and we get the fuck outa there then i remeber no ones home at my friends we charge in that house go in his room and do our bissness by this time i was not in the mood for fourplay so we get all ready fuckin right there MOTHER FUCKER!!!! i forgot the condoms in the car so i'm sick on this i throw on my shoes on i don't care if i'm naked charge out to the car grab the condoms run back to the house BAM! fat face plant i tripped over a sprinkler on the lawn truely fuckin painfull any way i run my ass up stairs we get back to work.....and i came up for a good idea for a practical joke a farting condom like when you open it it farts that'd be fuckin hilarious.....anyway we do our thing we started at like 3 ended at like 6 after all that it was a great night
so i get home from work and the phone rings and i was like cool so it was my freinds sister
i answer the phone and her and her friends want me to come hang out and so i was like fuuuuck ya! so i go get the girls (4 of them) and roll up to a party they didn't drink or anything so i really didn't think i was gonna get any then there was a fight at the party and it got all broken up so we went back to my friends sisters house and it was hot as hell in the house so i take off my sweat shirt and the girls were like "your so muscley let me see your muscles" i was humble about it "no i don't have muscles" etc.... so they finally talk me into flexing and of course i do and ones like dam thats the size of my head i was all proud and shit so we all chill there and then they wanted a ride back to their other friends house so i'm like cool and ones like give me a ride to my house to so i'm cool so i drop off the 3 girls then i drive the other girl to her house we were saying bye then she gives me a hug then jumps on me like white on rice on a paper plate in a snow storm i was like fuck ya but my dumb ass didn't put the car in park so i take my foot off the brake. so i notice that the car is rolling and slam on the brake she goes flyin off the seat fuck thought i killed the moment that time but no i didn't so we get to work then i get to the bra mother fuger! can't they make those things with velcrow or somethin serious so after 10 minutes of double hand bra undoing i finally get the shit undone then we get goin. i'm gettin the condom on SNAP!! the condom breaks the only condom i have !! so i was like mother fucker this shit ain't endin this way so i'm like were goin to 7-11 put our cloths on shirt on backwards ripped pants cause she didn't do the zipper all the way on my pants hair messed up all sweat i come pealing out around the coner by the 7-11 the guys out side smokin i run in past him grab a pack of condoms we start laughin and we get the fuck outa there then i remeber no ones home at my friends we charge in that house go in his room and do our bissness by this time i was not in the mood for fourplay so we get all ready fuckin right there MOTHER FUCKER!!!! i forgot the condoms in the car so i'm sick on this i throw on my shoes on i don't care if i'm naked charge out to the car grab the condoms run back to the house BAM! fat face plant i tripped over a sprinkler on the lawn truely fuckin painfull any way i run my ass up stairs we get back to work.....and i came up for a good idea for a practical joke a farting condom like when you open it it farts that'd be fuckin hilarious.....anyway we do our thing we started at like 3 ended at like 6 after all that it was a great night 
that's one long ass sentence. Dude, ya need to get laid more, practice makes perfect 
Holy shit Crash, with the way your story was going I was almost expecting you to say that you prematuraly ejaculated. 
i had sex before that
