Wanted to start out by saying hi all.I havent posted in a long time started posting when i was going to get back into lifting to get cought up on any new things and new ideas cus i havented lifted for 5 years. I was going to start to occupie my mind cus i was in a bad relationship have been for along time not all her fault not all mine we both said or love would always get us through the tuff times. We were together for 8years i always loved her all though i was stressed a lot we had 1 son together and she had a girl that was 10months old when we started dateing wich i helpe raise and take care of from day1 she does not know i am not her real dad as he has never been in the picture.All i ever wanted was for her to become responsible and that was it for the 1st 5 years she only worked fulltime a couple of times for less than 6 months at a time part time for a couple of years. I bought her a car after 3 months n paid for almost everything for 5 years.After 6months asked her to marrie me and got her a 34 hundred dollar wedding set after 4 years i bought a house that she wanted she still didnt work full time after another year she finally got a fulltime job i thought things were going to be great. She still did not understand money always cared to much about material stuff spent alot we still could not make it on our own until this year but she still spent alot.The whole 8 years she lied about shit n when ever i said anything about it she would go off on me like it was my fault. I still never wanted to give up on her and the fact she would change that one thing or money would get good enough it wouldnt matter. Astime went on the last 6moths or so of the relation ship i could tell it was getting bad the harder i tried to make it work the more she went in a differant way and knew she did not love me any more and it was killing me i begged her for months to start doing anything to let me know she still loved me but she couldnt and never wanted to be around me.I got so depressed i went to the dr and couldnt eat or sleep lost a bunch of weight. So 1 dat i was txtinn her asking her how she thought things were going and she wouldnt answer then she said she didnt know how she felt about me any more and then said she didnt love me any more. Even though i knew i was totally crushed this was in september im still crushed she treated me like shit every day since until this last week she also started seeig someone like 3 weeks after she left me and it was a guy she talked about for mon ths while we were still together.The bad thing is i would take her back in a sec if she admitted she fucked up cus it would be up to me then to say if it was going to work or not.I am still crushed hard to eat or sleep if i have the kids its not so bad. I have always thought i was ugly and dont have much self esteem. Every day is shit i cant stop thinking about it and feel i will be alone forever.I have cried way more days then not.I have a hole in my heart that will only be able to be filled by the love of another.I am totally lost on what to do.Even now i am crying all over my key board.
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I need help
- Thread starter jkelley69
- Start date
Thee_One
Registered
Bro.
Realize it's your own want to be sad.
Then Stop it.
Life is so much more than human copulation.
Realize it's your own want to be sad.
Then Stop it.
Life is so much more than human copulation.
LightBearer
Registered
dorry bro but shes a trash bag, too bad you wastred so much time and money on her.
now its time to get jacked and aesthetic then get a girl whos worth your time
now its time to get jacked and aesthetic then get a girl whos worth your time
^^^
Get up and say fuck that bitch...
Get super jacked and get a better chick...
Bitches hate nothing more than seeing an ex doing better than when they were with them...
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Love makes us insane. It's that simple. Was in a three-year relationship that I thought was the one true love for me, but it was more like the ****** up mess you dealt with for eight.
Walk, no, RUN away. Can you still keep in touch with your children?
Slowly you'll return to sanity. Give yourself some time to get over the emotional pain of losing that dream of True Love. And remind yourself that you don't need someone else to make your life "perfect".
Plus, if you're ugly at least you're not alone. Ugly as dirt here and I've been engaged three times -- disasterously -- totaling more time than you've spent in the bucket.
Again, time heals all wounds. Trite but true.
Walk, no, RUN away. Can you still keep in touch with your children?
Slowly you'll return to sanity. Give yourself some time to get over the emotional pain of losing that dream of True Love. And remind yourself that you don't need someone else to make your life "perfect".
Plus, if you're ugly at least you're not alone. Ugly as dirt here and I've been engaged three times -- disasterously -- totaling more time than you've spent in the bucket.
Again, time heals all wounds. Trite but true.
Sounds like she was a selfish bitch...
Want to say thanks to all that have replied.Yes i still get to see the kids cus that is one thing i would fight to the deth for and money would not be spared even if i was in debt for life and will agree to nothing less than shared placement unless the court says otherwise.It is hardv for me to just move on cus i am a very devoted person and never care about what i have as long as the people i care about and love were taken care of hopefully i will find someone that i am attracted to that can give me that love and make me feel like i am special to them.
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Sounds positive right there.
Best wishes, man.
Eight years is a significant investment, but, trust me, a friend of mine said they were in a relationship for 30 years and change just waiting for their partner to become the person they imagined.
It never happened and they're pretty bitter for the time "wasted".
Thanks again the more comments i get the more it helps. She said there is no way we will get back together but its only been a little over a month i am worried if she changes her mind and comes back and says she fucked up that if i take her back the same thing will happen again or it just wont feel right to me and it wont work anyway. Shes treated me like total shit since she left i went over to talk to her last weekend and she called the cops on me she was liveing in my house driveing my car i couldnt even get the car back which i was paying for both out of my own money just so i knew the kids had a place to stay and a safe vehical and the cops told me to leave.I never thought in amillion years she would pull some of the shit she has pulled since she left and all i want is to get along so its easier on the kids.
This is why nice guys always finish last...
Bitches can smell that shit and will walk all over you...
You need to treat her like the shit she is and don't give her shit...
If she can't handle your kid then she should leave him/her with you...
(You will be getting a child support letter in the mail soon anyway)
And as far as her kid goes, he/she is not your responsibility as cold as it sounds...
And please tell me your car you pay for doesn't have her name on the title...
And please don't ever consider taking this bitch back, if she claims she wants back in. She has already shown her motivation was your money...
I know this sounds harsh right now but it's what you need to hear...
No nothing is in her name she doesnt have any credit everything is in my name always has been.I know the other child is not my responsability but she has no other dad and thinks i am her real dad cus we have never told her.I know i should have taken more than what i did but she hasnt signed any papers on the kids yet until then i will bend a little. The little girl means alot to me she is 8 now and has really been there for me through all of this shit she needs some kind of structure in her life.My boy is really haveing a tuff time he cries at least once a week when i call to tell them goodnight and i love them.Its hard on me to hear or see them hurt it makes me hurt.
If you really care for your son then go to the court house and file papers to get full custody of your kid... Hire a lawyer if you can... Show the court she has no job and no means and claim she is a drug addict... Then call the cops and say she has stolen your car, techniquely she has...
If you are truly looking out for the best interest of your son then do this first thing Mon. Do not wait to see if things will get better with her because they will not and it will only drag this out even longer. Do these things and watch that bitches attitude and actions change real quick...
If you are truly looking out for the best interest of your son then do this first thing Mon. Do not wait to see if things will get better with her because they will not and it will only drag this out even longer. Do these things and watch that bitches attitude and actions change real quick...
Sorry to be off and on so much today i have the kids. she is working now but only 3 out of the 8 years and she leaves work early and when i would ask her why her checks were short she would give some horse shit excuse and then i would find out hte truth from someone elsa and if i said something she would be pissed and bitch at me like i did something wrong.I told her if she was not going to agree to shared placement i was going to have to take her to court and if i could get majority i was going to take it and i was going for it on both kids her attitude did change real quick until she talked to her mom and a friend of hers that filled her full of shit but i still made it clear if it had to go to court i was going for majority placement.when she called the cops on me they didnt even make her give me the keys to the car and said i couldnt take it. also i have had a lawyer since like the second day she left me she was pissed about that too like i was supposed to not get one and let her walk all over me and keep paying for shit.
she also bitches about how much i want to take them but twice now have given her the the oppertunity to have them for a weekend so she can actually spend time with them and both times has ended up sending them with me cus she has a birthday party to go to down town,and i will take them cus at least i know shes not sticking them with someone who is not going to take care of them.
i cant think of any of her friends i would want to have sex with.i would rather just be able to get over it as soon as possible and move on hopefully find someone a hell of alot better that actually loves me ive never actually had any girl treat me as good as i treat them i always pick the wrong ones.we were friends for along time and i knew how she was and was told for years by others this was going to happen and always stuck up for her and thought i would be differant cus we had been together alot longer than she had ever been with anyone guesse i was the dumb ass in the end.the best was she said she wanted to leave me for like 2 or 3 years but she couldnt afford it but then relized she could now but she wont be able to afford shit now.if she does come back i would think that is the only reason it would never seem right.
been their brother head up stay strong and when your not strong act like you are. your being your own weak link right now. best of luck aorry to hear about this
dont do that bro^ that guy is a cock. be the bigger person wich it sound like you are and move on. do whats right for you. do what makes you happy. dont try to get back at her. you have ot forgive yourself before you can forgive others. forgiveness is the way. if you cant forgive you cant forget or be at peace.
I wouold bet money that this woman has BPD do some reading and you will see what I mean. Borderline personality disorder google it and see if it looks familiar. Been there and got a couple of T shirts it's not fun....
I know whatBPD is i asked her if she thought something was wrong with her that flew like a lead kite but about the last 4 or5 months she went through some drastic changes could have been just because it was already over to her.She sent me a msg today saying she didnt have enough money to pay her 1st months rent n tried to act like she sent it to the wrong person but i could tell she wanted me to say i would give her the money.
What a mess. Well bless you for being there for the kids, but she will be the one in the prime position in terms of custody. However you need to lay out the facts in terms of the stuff that you own & is in your name. You actually have the upper hand and can lay down the law at any time. Get all the facts in terms of the things that you own and what you can & can't do relative to her being an occupant.
She will continue to play you until you kick her to the curb. Hate to say it, she sounds like a parasite and will just keep using you and playing the sub story to get money whene ver its convenient of her, as she's obviously not responsible enough to take care of herself. I'd almost put money her taking whatever money she gets from you to buy drugs for the new dipshit she claims to be seeing. Parasites breed parasites.
I would further turn around bullshit she pulls on you to continue to drive home that SHE needs to be responsible for her kids and take care of them. Is this other guy doing anything for them, given its YOUR house, YOUR car, etc?
Repeat - identify the facts around the legal & financial details. And then its on you to decide just how long your'e going to let her play you. I don't know what to tell you about the kids, but I just see her using you whenever its convenient for her and she is falling short on her own responsibilities. Don't play her game, because she will keep playing you as long as she can, and she will pull out some amazing bullshit to keep the guilt train running. People like that are amazing at deflecting responsibility and fault and just creating more and more drama to make you feel bad. Fuck that. Its unhealthy for the kids, has a terrible impact on you and isn't helping her at all. Its just delaying the inevitable crash and burn. Diffuse her power of drama and guilt and just lay out the facts and give her a reality check.
She will continue to play you until you kick her to the curb. Hate to say it, she sounds like a parasite and will just keep using you and playing the sub story to get money whene ver its convenient of her, as she's obviously not responsible enough to take care of herself. I'd almost put money her taking whatever money she gets from you to buy drugs for the new dipshit she claims to be seeing. Parasites breed parasites.
I would further turn around bullshit she pulls on you to continue to drive home that SHE needs to be responsible for her kids and take care of them. Is this other guy doing anything for them, given its YOUR house, YOUR car, etc?
Repeat - identify the facts around the legal & financial details. And then its on you to decide just how long your'e going to let her play you. I don't know what to tell you about the kids, but I just see her using you whenever its convenient for her and she is falling short on her own responsibilities. Don't play her game, because she will keep playing you as long as she can, and she will pull out some amazing bullshit to keep the guilt train running. People like that are amazing at deflecting responsibility and fault and just creating more and more drama to make you feel bad. Fuck that. Its unhealthy for the kids, has a terrible impact on you and isn't helping her at all. Its just delaying the inevitable crash and burn. Diffuse her power of drama and guilt and just lay out the facts and give her a reality check.
Thanks sassy69 her new boy friend is like 13 years older than her i told her he can pay for her shit now she said im not goign to ask him weve only been dateing for a few weeks wich is total shit im not a fucking moron i know what was going on.She is out of the house now and has 2 months to find a way to get a car and that one comes back to me i am getting shared placement of the kids and am sure i will have them more than that she cares to much about haveing a good time with no responsabilities and i will gladly take them they have really inspired me through this shit so far and mean everything to me. Every posative comment i get really helps to.Thanks again and from what i can see the crash and burn is comeing i am just worried she will come back after that and i wont know what to do.
listen man stay strong. you love and care for these kids honeslty is heart warming and the world needs more guys like you. stay strong. when you think you should give up just push harder. ive been in the rut contiplated all sorts of shit. stay strong one day things will be ok and youll realize everything happens for a reason. maybe you where ment to break up and the kids will be with you and have a better life. EVERYTHING happens for a reason one way or another.
Thats what everyone keeps saying i hope they are right i try to look at it that way but ive had alot of shitty things happen to me in life i know it could always be worse just seems like the bad always stands out the most.
I think you will know what to do. The question is will she have the fortitude to do the right thing as well? It sounds like you've arrived at the right decisions and have done the correct things. Mostly she just needs to get the message that you are there for the kids and for the responsible reasons, but not to be used by her and cover her irresponsibility. If/when you talk to her, I still think its a great time to reiterate that SHE needs to be responsible. And not an opportunity for her to deflect that as a dump on this boyfriend or whatever he is. He's irrelevant. She can have other people in her life but the only person who can be responsible for her shit is her.
Best of luck and stay w/ the direction you are going. Her motis operandi is to use people. But it never really addresses the issues that will continue to plague her until she takes a stab at doing the right thing. Like they say about dieting -- suck it up & deal w/ it. You either do it or don't bother.
This is true, I did help her out today on the understanding of certain things i might have been a fool for it but only time will tell that this is the only time i will do it cus i know its going to happen again and to be fair to me i cant be a cruch and i have to be able to move on she seemed genuin when she thanked me but could have laughed as she drove away.and i know its dumb and i am a fucking fool for it but if she came back with tears in her eyes and she said she fucked up i would prbly take her back 8 years is along time to throw out the window im 33 i dont want to start all over if its saveable or would i be better off saying fuck it and move on be the best dad i can possibly be and hope some day she relizes what she has done but its to late.
