i need some advice from the ladies about this girl i like....

[cheesegrater]

this girl i've known for 3 years just turned 18 and i've started hanging out with her. I've always wanted her, but she was too young. Anyway, i ran into her at the bar the other day and she has blossomed into an amazing girl. Best personality of anyone, guy or girl, i've ever met.

we always had this great chemistry and it's even better now.

maybe this is me thinking too much but here's where i get confused. She always talks/jokes about me and her having sex. Like that's a major part of the conversation. For instance, i was at a club with her (i was called down to meet her there by her cousin) and i was talking to this other girl that my buddy was interested in while he was in the bathroom. She and her friend come up behind her and stand there looking at me for about 15 seconds. Then she says, "So, Rob, where are we gonna hook up tonight?" in a playful manner. I say well how about the bathroom, she says she was thinking of the back alley, yadda yadda. This kind of flirting about sex goes on a lot between us.

i'm 25 and when she was 15 and i was 22 she let it be known that she had a large crush on me (she wrote me a little letter). On top of that i had this fixation on her older sister that she must know about, but i'm over now. On top of that she's got a boyfriend of over a year that is nowhere near good enough for her.

so she asked me if i wanted to hang out with her this weekend. She said her boyfriend is out of town for a houseboat trip.

keeping in mind the heavy flirting that goes on between us and the fact that she at the very least used to have a huge crush on me versus her having a boyfriend, knowing i used to like her sister and the 6.5 year age difference, is she just being a friendly flirt or does she want it?

my instinct is telling me she wants it based on her signs, but as a guy that habitually overthinks things, i need female advice because i can feel myself falling for her and i DO NOT want to end up in the friend zone.

thanx a ton

 

[J'Bo]

ummm well YAH she wants to be with you...but do you really want to do that when she has a boyfriend? if you and her do end up hooking up and you really fall for her, there are going to be MAJOR trust issues....if she cheated on her ex she will cheat on you.

 

[heeholler]

I agree with J'Bo on this. And if you do hook up, and she gets pregnant [I am talking worst case scenario here], it could be an ugly scene if the other guy finds out and the wonder if it is you or him who is the dad. If she is willing to cheat with you on him, then odds are good she will do it to you also.
Then again she is 18, and prolly doesn't really know who or what she wants just yet. Ok, I'll shut up now dispensing the bad advice...

 

[gr81]

just hit it and split man, look at it this way, you are quite a bit older than her. You don't want to be in a relationship with a girl that much younger than you do you? Take advantage of the fact that she has a guy doing all her bidding as her BF and just have fun and get out. She obviously wants you and she is obviously not trust-worthy if she is gonna cheat on her BF. take it for what it is and thats it.

 

[cheesegrater]

if she does want me, than she REALLY wants me. This wouldn't be a half-assed thing. I'm the kinda guy that a girl will like more the more they get to know me, so i'm not worried about her cheating on me later on if we get together. What am i supposed to do, wait for her to get thru her relationship with her guy, however long it may be, without doing or saying anything? To me, that is a surefire way to let her get over her crush on me.

even tho she's only 18 and i'm 25 i like her as much as any person i've ever met. I'm not talking just cause she's hot (she looks like Jessica Alba's twin sister) i mean that i've never met anyone who is such a perfect compliment to my personality as her. We have incredible chemistry which i've never felt with a girl before. Whether that says something negative about me or whether it's positive about her, you'd prolly have to know us both. Normally i wouldn't want a relationship with someone so young (as a matter of fact, she's got a lot of hot friends that i wouldn't call back because of their immaturity) but she just hits every button with me. If i was to not pursue a relationship with her, it would be a long search to find a girl that does it for me as much as her. In the end, my main goal in a relationship is to be happy, to not get bored with the girl and to like her the more i see her. Whether the girl that satisfies all those criteria is 18 or 25 or 35 or points in between, i don't think it should really matter much.

 

[Trump]

How about some advice from a guy.

Best personality of anyone, guy or girl, i've ever met.

Bullshit.


You have really built this girl up in your mind, haven't you?

You are 25. She is 18. These days, with the increase of technology, and rapid advance of popular culture, generational gaps are categorized by 4 years.

Find someone your own age, and grow up.

 

[cheesegrater]

Originally posted by Trump
How about some advice from a guy.




Bullshit.


You have really built this girl up in your mind, haven't you?

You are 25. She is 18. These days, with the increase of technology, and rapid advance of popular culture, generational gaps are categorized by 4 years.

Find someone your own age, and grow up.

i didn't know there was a scientific method to determining whether a girl is old enough for me.

i built her sister up in my mind and i turned out to be wrong. As i was building her sister up, every time i'd see this girl i'd think to myself how awesome she is and then forget it because she was under 18 and i only saw her like 3 times a year.

What if i was 35 and she was 28? Is that too much of a generational gap professor?

you'd have to know her to know how cool she is. Is it so much of a stretch to believe i could like a girl that young for more than her hot body?

this is why i don't ask for advice on female matters from guys..........most of us are dickheads and have no idea what women think. I wanted to know whether it appears she wants me, not whether it's okay to date an 18 year old, because i see nothing wrong with that.

 

[gr81]

hey cheese, do your thing and don't listen to trump either, he is obviously a bastard. That age gap isn't that bad at all, if she is a down ass girl then pursue her, after all there aren't that many of them out there. And don't catagorize all guys from trumps response, he doesn't even know her so I don't know how he would know whether or not she is cool. With responses like that, he is the one that needs to grow up.

 

[oaktownboy]

yeah i gotta agree here with gr dawg..if u like/love her that's all that matters g don't care what other thinks

 

[mda1125]

Originally posted by J'Bo
ummm well YAH she wants to be with you...but do you really want to do that when she has a boyfriend? if you and her do end up hooking up and you really fall for her, there are going to be MAJOR trust issues....if she cheated on her ex she will cheat on you.

Well.. a female answered you. Seems like good advice to me.

Here's what you also need to consider.

She's 18.. you are 25. You are getting closer to finding out what you want (family, home, career).. she's 18.. she's nowhere near.

So you fit in the picture now.. but who knows.. by the time you are 30.. and she's 25.. maybe you don't fit anymore

J'Bo was on the money with her answer. I'd stay away.

But being 30 now.. I agree with a few other posts.. hit it now.. f it.. do it.. but don't care so damn much. And if you are that kinda guy that does care and you give 100% then go for it.. all the way.. and don't have any regrets or be angry if at 21 she figures after college she wants some other dude who's around just as much and has the personality getting to know.

Life is about taking chances.. and risks.. go for it.. but know the risks and if you lose don't be pissed off.

And if you win, then know you pursued what your heart told you (and maybe a little lust) and be content.

 

[Mudge]

Dude, if you think seriously this could happen then talk to her, I dont see whats so difficult. Talk to her, not people on the internet. Obviously the boyfriend you'll have to discuss also, because it seems that she doesn't think your going to go for it.

Why all the talk about sex though? May just be me, but thats one of the last things that happens in a relationship, of course everyone is looking for different things.

 

[ZECH]

If she cheats with you, you would be FOOLISH to think she would not cheat on you!!

 

[Trump]

Cons:

She has a boyfriend.
You have a crush.
She has a boyfriend.
You had a thing for her sister too.
She has a boyfriend.
You should be out of college, she hasn't even begun.


Pros:

"she's cool"

Originally posted by cheesegrater
What if i was 35 and she was 28? Is that too much of a generational gap professor?

Ever heard of the law of diminishing returns?

Originally posted by gr81
don't listen to trump either, he is obviously a bastard.

Obviously




Am I the only one here who thinks this entire situation is f#cked up? Don't you have enough women in Canada?

 

[Mudge]

You could almost look at age differences as a percentage thing, when you get older that gap does close, in a way.

Right now she is basically still a kid, and you are a grown up, the way she is playfull doesn't make her sound all that grown up to me but I do not know her and I dont know you.

Seriously though, if you have something on your mind freaking speak it. Find a time to talk to her seriously and let it out.

 

[cheesegrater]

i ask advice from people on the internet because it's anonymous and unbiased.

to all the people wondering about trust vis a vis her cheating on her boyfriend if she gets with me.........don't a lot of relationships start with either one person cheating on their other with someone they like better, or one person breaking up with their other for someone they like better? I'll say it again, to me it seems like a worse idea to wait it out to see what happens...been there done that, doesn't work. Like i said, this would be they type of relationship where if we get together it won't be her sort of liking me. Unless she's playing mind games with me, she REALLY likes me, and i tend to think that a girl that really likes me won't cheat on me. I'm not the least bit insecure that way.

to gr81 saying there aren't that many "down ass girls" out there.....trust me, i know. in the last two years i've met and hooked up with more girls than in the previous 23 years and have met none whose company i actually enjoy. (i knew this girl before). It's a long story but i morphed from the shyest, most emotionally immature guy into someone that can quite honestly go into a house party and get any girl in there. It's confidence to pick up girls, but more importantly confidence to go for what i want. I've found that looks don't mean as much to me beyond being attracted to her, what i need is a girl that gets my humor, makes me laugh and keeps me on the edge on my toes. The girl that does this for me happens to be 18. So fucking what.

i've made the mistake of "caring" too much in the past and have been burned beyond recognition. I've made sure to stay away from the "she's the one" line of thinking and focusing on having fun instead of thinking about the future so much. There's a saying-life is what happens while you're planning for the future. This used to be me and it led me to a complete and total nervous breakdown.

what i'm not going to do is "the speech". There is no greater turnoff than someone spilling their beans and getting all emotional before anything happens. My plan is to try and get physical with her, bring up the boyfriend thing, tell her i like her too much for it to be a one-off deal and see where it goes.

again, all i wanted to know is whether it appeared she liked me. I got my answer. I'd already made my mind up i'm going for it. I know she'll be one of the kicking myself for not going for it girls if i don't do it. I am at the sam time cursed and blessed to be someone who has spent endless hours of self-reflection and analysis to try and find myself. It's hard to get across anonymously like this but i KNOW this is right for me.

 

[RCfootball87]

Cheesegrater, I think you're too soft man. Go bang her.

 

[Mudge]

Originally posted by cheesegrater
don't a lot of relationships start with either one person cheating on their other with someone they like better

Maybe in your part of town, I have never cheated on anyone.

There is no greater turnoff than someone spilling their beans and getting all emotional before anything happens. My plan is to try and get physical with her, bring up the boyfriend thing

Who said that getting emotional was a requirement? Tell her the truth, you dont have to cry like a baby while you do it. So get her to cheat, and instead of talking to her you play with her, that sounds mature. If you two can't talk to each other, you are both immature.

It's hard to get across anonymously like this but i KNOW this is right for me.

Then you didn't have to ask a soul.

 

[cheesegrater]

Originally posted by Mudge
Maybe in your part of town, I have never cheated on anyone.



Who said that getting emotional was a requirement? Tell her the truth, you dont have to cry like a baby while you do it. So get her to cheat, and instead of talking to her you play with her, that sounds mature. If you two can't talk to each other, you are both immature.



Then you didn't have to ask a soul.

i mean that relationships don't always start when both parties are single and looking.

i didn't really mean it like i'll trick her into it

again, i never asked anybody if it was okay, i asked the women if it seemed she was into me. I was simply defending my choice.

PC, ya i am soft with girls that i like, can't help it.

 

[Mudge]

If she didn't like you she wouldn't be playing with you.

 

[gr81]

Originally posted by cheesegrater
iPC, ya i am soft with girls that i like, can't help it.

You better get over that quick. Be a man and tell her you want to fuck her proppa and if she isn't down, then leave, if she is, then hit it, you are thinking about this too much.

 

[Mudge]

If she for some reason says she is not interested, then you can move on with your life, and tell her to act properly around you in the future.

 

[Trump]

Originally posted by gr81
\Be a man and tell her you want to fuck her proppa

 

[gr81]

why ?????

 

[oaktownboy]

trump

 

[RCfootball87]

Originally posted by gr81
You better get over that quick. Be a man and tell her you want to fuck her proppa and if she isn't down, then leave, if she is, then hit it, you are thinking about this too much.

Exactly Cheese. I used to be soft and emotional with girls, then I graduated the 8th grade.

 

[Mudge]

Such gentlemen you are. There is more to life than sex.

 

[J'Bo]

Originally posted by gr81
just hit it and split man, look at it this way, you are quite a bit older than her. You don't want to be in a relationship with a girl that much younger than you do you? Take advantage of the fact that she has a guy doing all her bidding as her BF and just have fun and get out. She obviously wants you and she is obviously not trust-worthy if she is gonna cheat on her BF. take it for what it is and thats it.

It amazes me that you ever get any play...never mind it amazes me that chicks fall for your crappy morals dodo head

Cheesehead....wait for her? no i dont think so...live your life and open yourself to other women who are SINGLE (being the keyword here)

Cheese...you have mentioned how hot she was 20 times and therefore i am begining to believe that this is a major factor in why you are attracted to her.

Mudge...i agree if you have a question ask her not us...she can give you the answers

Cheese...well you made up your mind...thats good...#1 i hope the dude isnt bigger than you...#2 i hope that you grab some morals on the way and realize that there are some single intelligent women that are better suited to you out there...#3 that comment about many relationships starting out by one person cheating just boggled my mind...where do you live? and perhaps a 18 year old is suited to you cause thats a rediculous statement.
and you really soft sound with the girls SOFT COCK is what we call men like you down here...they have no balls to tell or ask a women what they want. Pathetic.

This thread is absolutely a joke...makes me shake my head and relize that the female and male species really knows nothing about how eachother works.

 

[RCfootball87]

Originally posted by Mudge
Such gentlemen you are. There is more to life than sex.

Not when you're 15.

 

[gr81]

hey J' don't hate the player, hate the game and you females are the ones layin down the rules. You have to play the game to get what you want, and I don't see how what I said is any different than what you said to him. If you females weren't so fuckin hipocritical and contradictory, not to mention irrational, then things might run a bit smoother.

 

[RCfootball87]

Originally posted by gr81
If you females weren't so fuckin hipocritical and contradictory, not to mention irrational, then things might run a bit smoother.

I never knew anyone had the balls to say that were women could hear it.