Let's try this again...

[butterfly]

Originally posted by butterfly
Tuesday ~ 7/23/02

~sausage biscuit, 2% milk
~3 slices cheese pizza
~cheez-its
~Bordens chocolate milk
~3 chips ahoy cookies
~fish sticks, hush puppies, 2% milk

I went at lunch with my friend/co-worker to see our other friend/co-worker and her brand new baby boy at lunch. I was thinking we'd stop and get something to eat first like Wendy's chicken sandwich but my friend gets the idea to see if our other friend wants us to bring her something... turns out she did but for the daddy and his Father as well. So that's how I ended up eating pizza for lunch

WOW!!! That was a really bad day!!! Having to right it down made me see just how bad I ate

I still can't go to the gym but that doesn't excuse my bad eating since I am feeling better now... MUST do better!

 

[Stacey]

Girl your funny!!
Thats good you looked at what you wrote! That helps me out a lot!!! How have u done today?

 

[butterfly]

Originally posted by Princess
Girl your funny!!
Thats good you looked at what you wrote! That helps me out a lot!!! How have u done today?

uhm...uhmm...

I don't want to say

 

[butterfly]

Wednesday ~ 7/24/02

~sausage biscuit, 2% milk
~fish sandwich
~chips ahoy cookies
~EAS RTD
~grilled cheese sandwich, 2% milk


Lots of water!!!

 

[butterfly]

Thursday ~ 7/25/02

~2 slices 100% whole wheat toast
~bologna sandwich
~cheez-its
~Slim fast

water

 

[naturaltan]

hey sweetie ... how are ya?

 

[Stacey]

HEY GIRL!! Diet is looking better!! How are you today??

 

[butterfly]

I feel better and better everyday!

Doc still has released me from her care so I still can't go to the gym But I figure eating clean is a step in the right direction.

 

[naturaltan]

I think after something as what you went thru, you take as much time as you need to get back to normal. But the faster you get there, the better ... and if the diet is the only thing you can do or start with, then you're on track.

 

[Stacey]

I totally agree with NT!!! You are doing great!! I am glad your feeling better each day!!

 

[Hammerlynn]

Hi Butterfly! I have to agree. You've been through alot so dont make yourself feel like you have to jump right back in with 2 feet! Take your time and you'll go back to your routine when it feels right!

Take care!

 

[butterfly]

Thanks for stopping by Hammerlynn!!! and for the kind words!!!

I really need them today... I feel like I could cry for hours... guess my hormones are still trying to get back to normal

 

[Twin Peak]

Ohhh, then don't read my last post in that other thread....

 

[Stacey]

Oh honey!! Sorry your upset today!!! Let it out girl!! Its okay to cry .. you have gone through abunch!!
Thinking about ya!

 

[butterfly]

Originally posted by Twin Peak
Ohhh, then don't read my last post in that other thread....

Too late

Thanks P!!!

 

[butterfly]

Think I'll try it PB style...

Dear Diary,

Yesterday when I left work I felt on the brink of an emotional melt down. All I wanted to do was go home snuggle up in my bed and cry. But I couldn???t. My mom was over and we were all going out to dinner, which I was glad for in a way??? think I just wanted to be with my mom. On the way home I told John how I was feeling and asked if he could make sure the kids got their showers and into bed. He did, sometimes I don???t know what I???d do without him! One thing that???s been bothering me is my weight. I worked so hard for 4 months and had lost several inches and was feeling really good about myself when I got pregnant the first time. Now after two miscarriages in four months I???m just about back to the size I was in the first place. It feels hopeless sometimes.

I talked to Cory for a while last night??? I really missed him and he???s growing up so fast I can???t stand it. He???s so sweet, too. He tried to comfort me about the weight I put back on. He said the same things others have said but it was different from him??? his thoughtfulness and kindness really touched me and made me feel a little better. I made him an ice cream/chocolate shake because his new braces were hurting him and then went to my room for some alone time. I picked out what I was going to wear to work today then snuggled in my bed to read my new Muscle & Fitness Hers magazine??? picked up some pointers for doing legs and found a recipe I thought I???d try. Had trouble falling asleep. Finally did about 1:00 a.m.

Well, it???s a new day and I got off to a slow start. Heard this song on the way to work this morning??? think it was by Aerosmith, something about running away from the pain??? I almost started bawling. I think I???ve been so eager to get my life back to normal that I???ve been avoiding dealing with the second miscarriage. I know some people say it wasn???t really a baby??? but I don???t buy it. I think their little souls are still up in Heaven and I???ve missed the chance to get to know them. I really feel a loss. I just barely got the chance to love them and now they are gone. I suppose it???s like everything else in life??? time heals.

Later???

 

[Fitgirl70]

I am going to cry.....

tear

 

[craig777]

Butterfly,

You and my wife could be sisters you sound so much alike. Maybe it is just you are both women, but I don't think so.

I will keep you in my prayers, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with curling up on the bed and crying.

 

[Fitgirl70]

Okay, now that I've wiped away the tears and blew my nose, I can say what everyone else is saying --

Honey, give it some time. You're going to be fine. There is no reason you should allow yourself to even think about your workouts, weight or diets after what you've gone through. Probably one of the most wonderful things about you is that you are so worried about the love of a baby and how much you can give it. You are already such a wonderful mother and you're going to be absolutely perfect for a baby. Don't worry about it. It's all in the Masters hands and he knows your hearts desires.

One of the best things about all of us is that we love you and we all support you and we're all here for you.....as long as you bring the Cheez-its. Just kidding girl, much love to you and yours. It will all work out and so will you.
FG

 

[Stacey]

okay Butterfly.. **wiping my tears too** just read your dear diary..
first that song is sad.. I have heard it too!

And All I can say is EXACTLY ONE FITGIRL HAS SAID TO YOU!!! Listen to her!! Its okay to cry! We do all love you and are totally here for you!! That was soooo sweet of Cory to say to you too!! Listen to him!!
LOVE YOU HONEY~ HUGS~
Stacey

 

[buff_tat2d_chic]

I just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
I agree with the others...take your time and don't rush. You will get back into the swing when the time is right.

 

[butterfly]

Dear Diary,

I'm feeling much better today!

Saturday I got a surprise phone call from my Sunday School teacher's wife. She just wanted to let me know that she was praying for me/us and hoped I was doing well. She said somethings that I'd been thinking about the babies...she too knows their little souls are in Heaven... (I wonder if God tried to send me the same little soul twice and will try again later??? I like to think that's how it is.) It's neat to see how God works quietly in our lives. He knew I needed to hear the things she said and put a heaviness on her heart to call me.

Went to a party that night with a bunch a good friends... sure felt good to unwind, drink a little, dance a little, laugh a lot!!!

Sunday I wanted to go to church so bad but John woke up with a bad headache... I didn't know he had drank so much so I nursed him instead so we could still take the kids and go out on the boat with my parents. Since I was pregnant when my parents got the boat, this was my first time out. Haven't been on a boat since I gave up competitive water skiing in 98. The kids had a blast too. We're teaching Cory how to drive the boat... he loves it! He does really well when given important responsibilities. I'm very proud of him!

I woke up this morning with my sinuses driving me nuts so I decided to work from home today. Of course there's that added bonus of getting to be around the kids

One more thing Diary... there sure are some really nice people on IM.com... they always give me encouragement and hope which never fails to lift my spirits!!

Later...

 

[naturaltan]

I can only hope our daughter grows up to be a fine copy of Cory. He sounds wonderful!

Like everyone else has said ... you take whatever time you need. You'll know when it's time for you to go back to the gym and start the diet. Who knows, maybe it will never come. Just give it some time!!

 

[Stacey]

Ann~ Hey sweets. I really like the way your doing your new diary! I am sooo glad god gave that woman at your church a sign to call you. She sure seemed to help you!! I bet it did feel good to unwind at that party.. laughter always seems to be the best medicine! Thats neat you finally got to ride your parents boat! Sounds like you guys had a good family day yetserday! Your Cory is growing up fast!!
Have a good day working from home today!
~ AND Thanks for saying that about all of us at IM.COM.. ya know we love you!

 

[naturaltan]

pppssssttttt, Butterfly, you two are in need of a crazy vacation where you can do whatever you want ... he he

 

[butterfly]

Thanks NT and P...

How are you guys doing?

 

[butterfly]

Originally posted by naturaltan
pppssssttttt, Butterfly, you two are in need of a crazy vacation where you can do whatever you want ... he he

oh I soooo agree!

 

[Stacey]

I totally agree too Buttefly!!!
Somewhere tropical...

I am doing good thanks for asking! Have a good night sweetie!!

 

[butterfly]

We were thinking of taking that Disney cruise next summer with my brother, his wife, 3 girls and son... maybe our parents, too. We figure 3 days at Disney World then 4 days on the ship to recover

Wonder if anyone here has been???

 

[naturaltan]

We were thinking the same ... we'll have to see if there is anymore Disney enthusiam after this Disney trip.

Then, you must plan the adult getaway ... giggle