KryptoAllez
Registered
TJohn, you should like this one, hehe.
PENNSYLVANIA TOURIST BUREAU
>
>This summer, please consider Pennsylvania as your vacation destination!
>
>But, please be aware of the rules:
>
>1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast
>than you'll do all week at the gym. He doesn't need your respect,
>but he sure as heck deserves it.
>
>2. It's called a 'dirt road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're
>going to get dust on your BMW. We have four-wheel drives
>because we need them. Drive it or get it out of the way.
>
>3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old.
>Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
>
>4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will
>get your butt kicked...by our women.
>
>5. Go ahead and bring your $800 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a
>catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that little 13-
>inch trout you fish for.................bait.
>
>6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
>
>7. If that cell phone rings while a flock of turkey is coming in, we will
>shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the
>time.
>
>8. That's right. Whiskey is only five bucks. We can buy a fifth for
>what you paid in the airport for a shot.
>
>9. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
>Knicks...and a dang sight more fun to watch.
>
>10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
>Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the
>two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes
>in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.
>
>11. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
>served over ice, or in a can.
>
>12. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed.
>We have quarter of a million dollar combine that we drive
>three weeks a year.
>
>13. Let's get this straight. We have only one traffic light in some
>towns. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
>
>
>14. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks....because they want to.
>So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
>
>15. Yeah, we eat catfish....carp, too....and turtle. You really want
>sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
>
>16. They are pigs and cattle. That's what they smell like.
>Don't like it? Get over it. I-80 goes two ways and I-79
>goes the other two................Pick one.
>
>17. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
>religious holiday held in November.
>You can even get breakfast at the church.
>
>18. Most people in pickups wave. It's called being friendly. Try to
>understand the concept.
>
>19. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It
>spooks the fish.
>
>20. That thing on a rack in the back window of some pickups....it's
>probably a gun. Get over it.
>
>Now, enjoy your visit and then go home.
PENNSYLVANIA TOURIST BUREAU
>
>This summer, please consider Pennsylvania as your vacation destination!
>
>But, please be aware of the rules:
>
>1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast
>than you'll do all week at the gym. He doesn't need your respect,
>but he sure as heck deserves it.
>
>2. It's called a 'dirt road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're
>going to get dust on your BMW. We have four-wheel drives
>because we need them. Drive it or get it out of the way.
>
>3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old.
>Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
>
>4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will
>get your butt kicked...by our women.
>
>5. Go ahead and bring your $800 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a
>catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that little 13-
>inch trout you fish for.................bait.
>
>6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
>
>7. If that cell phone rings while a flock of turkey is coming in, we will
>shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the
>time.
>
>8. That's right. Whiskey is only five bucks. We can buy a fifth for
>what you paid in the airport for a shot.
>
>9. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
>Knicks...and a dang sight more fun to watch.
>
>10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
>Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the
>two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes
>in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.
>
>11. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
>served over ice, or in a can.
>
>12. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed.
>We have quarter of a million dollar combine that we drive
>three weeks a year.
>
>13. Let's get this straight. We have only one traffic light in some
>towns. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
>
>
>14. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks....because they want to.
>So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
>
>15. Yeah, we eat catfish....carp, too....and turtle. You really want
>sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
>
>16. They are pigs and cattle. That's what they smell like.
>Don't like it? Get over it. I-80 goes two ways and I-79
>goes the other two................Pick one.
>
>17. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
>religious holiday held in November.
>You can even get breakfast at the church.
>
>18. Most people in pickups wave. It's called being friendly. Try to
>understand the concept.
>
>19. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It
>spooks the fish.
>
>20. That thing on a rack in the back window of some pickups....it's
>probably a gun. Get over it.
>
>Now, enjoy your visit and then go home.
