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Proper fucked

Platinum

Platinum

Resident Stoner
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A few days ago, I invited a female 'friend' up to my house for a roll in the hay. She got up here, we started fooling around, kissing and whatnot. Things progressed mouths went here, tongues went there and before long we were making the beast with two backs. Anyways, the sex was great, best I've had in a little while. Anyway, after a little pillow talk, she leaves and goes to work and I roll over and fall asleep. When I wake up, I notice there's blood on my bed. And not just a little bit, but a motherfucking shitload of the stuff. All over my doona, sheets, mattress and all over my floor. So here I am, trying to work out how to get the blood of everything. I'm scrubbing, washing, soaking, rinsing - everything. I even got my dogs in to try and get them to lick the blood off the floor :D. Anyways, mum walked home while I was cleaning and I'm pretty sure she didn't buy my 'I stepped on a nail story'. Things were very awkward. Not cool :finger:
 
Platinum said:
A few days ago, I invited a female 'friend' up to my house for a roll in the hay. She got up here, we started fooling around, kissing and whatnot. Things progressed mouths went here, tongues went there and before long we were making the beast with two backs. Anyways, the sex was great, best I've had in a little while. Anyway, after a little pillow talk, she leaves and goes to work and I roll over and fall asleep. When I wake up, I notice there's blood on my bed. And not just a little bit, but a motherfucking shitload of the stuff. All over my doona, sheets, mattress and all over my floor. So here I am, trying to work out how to get the blood of everything. I'm scrubbing, washing, soaking, rinsing - everything. I even got my dogs in to try and get them to lick the blood off the floor :D. Anyways, mum walked home while I was cleaning and I'm pretty sure she didn't buy my 'I stepped on a nail story'. Things were very awkward. Not cool :finger:
Click to expand...
haha, nasty

maybe she was a virgin
 
Platinum said:
A few days ago, I invited a female 'friend' up to my house for a roll in the hay. She got up here, we started fooling around, kissing and whatnot. Things progressed mouths went here, tongues went there and before long we were making the beast with two backs. Anyways, the sex was great, best I've had in a little while. Anyway, after a little pillow talk, she leaves and goes to work and I roll over and fall asleep. When I wake up, I notice there's blood on my bed. And not just a little bit, but a motherfucking shitload of the stuff. All over my doona, sheets, mattress and all over my floor. So here I am, trying to work out how to get the blood of everything. I'm scrubbing, washing, soaking, rinsing - everything. I even got my dogs in to try and get them to lick the blood off the floor :D. Anyways, mum walked home while I was cleaning and I'm pretty sure she didn't buy my 'I stepped on a nail story'. Things were very awkward. Not cool :finger:
Click to expand...
TMI :(
 
Ok, rookie, here is the deal. She was starting her period and did not know it.

Maybe you should stick with socks.
 
:haha: :rofl: :funny: :lol:

The boy missed his chance to earn his redwings.
 
She was on the rag. Happened to me once, and I had to pay money to the hotel for the sheets.
 
Pepper said:
By the way, WTF does this mean:


Never heard that one.
Click to expand...
I think it means that he and his woman were power-morphing into Dorian Yates. :shrug:

Which reminds me of one of the best quotes I've ever heard:

"Women are like Voltron: the more you hook up, the better it gets."
 
Sounds like she had an Aids breakout, you better go to the hospital quick.
 
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IronMag Labs Prohormones
I Googled it and it turns out that this type of thing happens when the sperm impregnates the egg.

Congrats, Daddy!
 
Pepper said:
I Googled it and it turns out that this type of thing happens when the sperm impregnates the egg.

Congrats, Daddy!
Click to expand...
:rofl: :clap:
 
PMS and when the my wife has her's, I know exactly what PMS stands for cause I'm the fuck out of here.

..........................."PACK MY SUITCASE".........................................
 
Yep......blew your chance to pin on the red wings. Maybe next time rookie..........Uncle Rich........... :wave:
 
this story is officially teh sux0r!!!111!!3!
 
The funny thing is she would have noticed that amount of blood if she were dressing herself and she didn't tell you she just left you lying in it. Ha ha jokes on you. You probably thought you were the man how wet she felt didn't you? You were like "Damn I am the mack this chick is gushing wet, fuck yeah!" :lol:
 
ive heared from a few buddies im not sure tho , when a girl has pms she gets mad horny and they said they have had sex while there girl had her period to me i rather not have sex while shes having a period preety nasty to me
 
No you have to eat her out on the rag to get your red wings, this ain't heaven you gotta earn your wings round here boy.
 
maniclion said:
No you have to eat her out on the rag to get your red wings, this ain't heaven you gotta earn your wings round here boy.
Click to expand...

thats what I thought!! on your cheeks right??
 
Did I just post that, I must have been possessed by a Hells Angel or something, :lol:
 
Whoa. LoL. I knew she was ragging, and I'm a big fan of fucking a chick when she's on her period. So much more hornier then. I was just fucking amazed at the volume of blood. I swear you'd think someone had their fucking brains blown out if you looked at my bed. And Stu, she wasn't a virgin, as we've done this maaany times before. I'm off to smoke some j's. :thumbs:
 
:gosh:
 
If you think thats sick, then don't even think about earning your brown wings :lol:
 
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