So Confused!!

[myCATpowerlifts]

yea! so people dont tell her to take some time away!!!

thats so stupid people just dont change like that

you found a piece of rotten fuck ncgirl

plain and simple, leave him, dont be dumb, just shut him out of your life, if he begs and cries, kick him in the nuts and tell him to get the hell away from you...

 

[BUSTINOUT]

Originally posted by gr81
its not narcicism, and anything else ncgirl, and its not necessarily that he is a bad guy persay or that he doesn't love you. dear, he is an alcoholic and you are his co depenent. Its not that he means to break his promise, it his disease of addiction and you are a victim. He needs to get himself into treatment for his alcoholism, he needs to be in inpatient so he can work towards recovery, and you need to get in contact with alanon and work out your codependency issues. This will not remedy itself, I guarantee it. You cannot ration the situation into changing and you will NOT be able to change him. Only he can change and he has to do it for himself by getting into treatment. He will relapse and each time he drinks llike this it will get worse, trust me. You both have some issues you need to work out, things won't just change. You can sit there and listen to all eth advice anyone can give you, but seriously if I were you I would take the time and learn a little something about alcholism and addiction, and in your case codependency. I have seen ti a million times.

here is a link to the alanon web site. do yourself a favor and visit it and start the process fo recovery for both of you. Its not just his problem, you both have issues you need to work out. Good luck, you can do it.
Alanon AA anomymous web site

I hate to say it but...DAMN...THAT WAS GOOD!!!

 

[BUSTINOUT]

Originally posted by ncgirl21

Now I just feel like I messed up, like he's really not that bad that I'm the reason why he acts like that because that's what he tells me. I'm lost.......... confused and pathetic.

No reason for you to feel pathetic. If anyone is pathetic, it is the piece of shit that is hitting on you. And from an outsiders perspective..."YES, he really is that bad!" People that love you, do not hit you. We all lose our tempers, but we do not all hit. There is no excuse for that...NONE!!!! None of this is your fault. No matter what kinda pain in the ass you can be at times(let's admit it, we all are now and then), you do not deserve to be treated that way. Of course that is not to say that it is okay for woman to be physically abusive either.

I'm just so confused. I love him so much, but I don't know what to do???

I think you are more in love with the thought of how he was when he treated you good. Either that was a lie or that person is gone. I also think you know exactly what to do. I am not a big fan of giving two rips about what people think, but it does not take a brain surgeon to see that all the people giving you advice cannot be too far off base. You seriously have to consider other's past experience(that is if they have lived to tell about it). Very few have stayed with people like this and seen the abuse stop. Tell that worthless weasel if he wants to beat on someone, I'll be glad to pass along my address(I'll PM it to you. lol) There are better men out there just hoping to find someone that wants to be treated good...dump the bum.

Sorry for the language, but this makes me sick.

 

[Vieope]

What happened ... ?

 

[P-funk]

HMM, this sounds very familiar as one of my best freinds is in this same situation. Her boyfreind is a really ashole like this, drinks, screams, push her around (which she kind of admits to me but holds back a lot because she knows that I will go an do some pushing around of my own), acuses her of things, acts jealous and makes her feel like shit and tells her she is the bad person, oh yeah and they are engaged.

The problem.....as a freind I try to tell her to get away from this guy because she deserves better. However, this story is long and complicated, I really love this girl and she knows it so I can't say to much as it just looks like i am being the guy trying to break things up for my own purposes. I could care less if she ended up with me (it be nice) but all I really care about is her well being.

I don't understand why women take this abuse? The thing that you have to think about is, how long are you going to go on living your life like this? You get maried, you have kids...how long will this contiue? I say you need to get away from this guy. As much as you love him and as much as he apologizes there is no way to make it work. This is a realationship headed for disater. I have a term for guys that get drunk (or not even get drunk), hit their girl (even if it is a little pushing around) and say terible things to them...bag of shit!

 

[Vieope]

Originally posted by P-funk
I really love this girl and she knows it so I can't say to much as it just looks like i am being the guy trying to break things up for my own purposes.

What is wrong about being that guy who wants to break up a relationship that is already bad ? I am sure that your purpose is not only to sleep with her, you love her, you want to make her happy. IMO, go for it.

 

[P-funk]

Originally posted by Vieope
What is wrong about being that guy who wants to break up a relationship that is already bad ? I am sure that your purpose is not only to sleep with her, you love her, you want to make her happy. IMO, go for it.

Long story, this is very complicated.

 

[PreMier]

 

[Vieope]

Originally posted by PreMier
Dont listen to Vieope. Damn Vieope. Just because you are permiscuous doesnt mean other people are

Wait a second... Why is it promiscuous to go after the women that you love ?

EDIT: Don´t use the EDIT power on me

 

[P-funk]

Originally posted by PreMier

hey, what are you shaking you head at?

 

[PreMier]

Damn your fast... Anyway, she is engaged. She is in a commitment. It is not a good commitment by anymeans, but that doesnt make it right to break them apart. It needs to be HER choice.

 

[PreMier]

Originally posted by P-funk
hey, what are you shaking you head at?

Vieope.. He likes to sleep with other guys GF's.

 

[P-funk]

Originally posted by PreMier
Damn your fast... Anyway, she is engaged. She is in a commitment. It is not a good commitment by anymeans, but that doesnt make it right to break them apart. It needs to be HER choice.

I am not going to break them apart. I do however want her to see that she is not the problem like she is being led to believe and that she shouldn't feel guilty and get on the depressive guilt trips because her fiance makes her fell like shit about things (mental abuse in my opinion.).

 

[P-funk]

Originally posted by PreMier
Vieope.. He likes to sleep with other guys GF's.

LOL, god bless him

 

[Vieope]

Originally posted by PreMier
Vieope.. He likes to sleep with other guys GF's.

Not exactly true.. Why am I the one that is guilty ? I have nothing to do with other relationship. If they aren´t cheating with me, they will cheat with somebody else.
I really don´t believe that is my fault. Is it ?

 

[P-funk]

Originally posted by Vieope
Not exactly true.. Why am I the one that is guilty ? I have nothing to do with other relationship. If they aren´t cheating with me, they will cheat with somebody else.
I really don´t beleive that is my fault. Is it ?

When something like this happens I find both parties at fault. The girl is at fault because she has no respect for her boyfreind to stay faithful. The guy she is cheating with is at fault because he has no respect for her, knowing that she is in a relationship, he should stop the situation before it gets out of hand in my opinion.

 

[Vieope]

Originally posted by P-funk
When something like this happens I find both parties at fault. The girl is at fault because she has no respect for her boyfreind to stay faithful. The guy she is cheating with is at fault because he has no respect for her, knowing that she is in a relationship, he should stop the situation before it gets out of hand in my opinion.

Do you agree with me that most beautiful and interesting women are in some kind of relationship ?

 

[P-funk]

Originally posted by Vieope
Do you agree with me that most beautiful and interesting women are in some kind of relationship ?

I guess so?

I wanna stay neutral with my answer to this question because I am afraid of were you may be going with this one...lol

 

[PreMier]

Originally posted by P-funk
When something like this happens I find both parties at fault. The girl is at fault because she has no respect for her boyfreind to stay faithful. The guy she is cheating with is at fault because he has no respect for her, knowing that she is in a relationship, he should stop the situation before it gets out of hand in my opinion.

God, I couldnt have said it better myself

 

[PreMier]

Originally posted by Vieope
Do you agree with me that most beautiful and interesting women are in some kind of relationship ?

No... Look at Atherjen for instance. She is beautiful, and interesting. But I suppose thats why you said most...

 

[Vieope]

Originally posted by P-funk
I guess so?

I wanna stay neutral with my answer to this question because I am afraid of were you may be going with this one...lol

Exactly

 

[Vieope]

Originally posted by PreMier
No... Look at Atherjen for instance. She is beautiful, and interesting. But I suppose thats why you said most...

Yep. She is in Canada also .

Usually the guys who think that they will find the "one" available are the ones that are alone saturday night. Reality check

Worst, alone logging at IM.. lol

 

[P-funk]

Originally posted by PreMier
No... Look at Atherjen for instance. She is beautiful, and interesting. But I suppose thats why you said most...

Right, atherjen is a great example but he did say most beautiful womne not all beautiful women.

Vieope where werer you going with that anyway?


Anyway, if we want to continue this discussion I think we should start a new thread because this is a really serious thread that we are hijakcing (sorry).

 

[P-funk]

Originally posted by Vieope
Yep. She is in Canada also .

Usually the guys who think that they will find the "one" available are the ones that are alone saturday night. Reality check

Worst, alone logging at IM.. lol

need to go to a new thread.


thanks "v" you really kicked me in the nuts with that one

 

[Vieope]

Originally posted by P-funk
I think we should start a new thread because this is a really serious thread that we are hijakcing (sorry).

Yes, I forgot about that. Can you move the posts to a new thread ?

 

[Vieope]

Originally posted by P-funk
thanks "v" you really kicked me in the nuts with that one

Sorry, it is better knowing it now then when you get to 80 years old.

 

[P-funk]

I don't know how to move all of these posts after my serious post. can another mod do it? I guess I don't know much Vieope do I?


can another mod (who is smarter than I) please move our stupid jackass banter please.

 

[PreMier]

I am not even going to comment...

 

[Vieope]

Originally posted by P-funk
I guess I don't know much Vieope do I?

Sorry again , I got a really bit "bad" saying that because I gave the same speech to a friend days ago.

 

[PreMier]

Originally posted by P-funk
I guess I don't know much Vieope do I?

All you need to know is that 90% of men and women are drunken whores.

Go to the bar, get smashed, get laid.