- Joined
- Aug 20, 2011
- Messages
- 4,228
- Reaction score
- 2,259
- Points
- 113
* President Obama has revealed his new re-election slogan ? 'Forward.' That's a good message for Obama. He's telling voters, 'Whatever you do, don't look back at all those campaign promises I made.'" ?Jay Leno
* President Obama will begin a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are confusion, delusion, and desperation. " ?Jay Leno
* There's a term for people like President Obama, it's called probably not two terms. --Jimmy Kimmel
* Remember when the entire country rallied around candidate Obama in 2008 for hope and change? That was hilarious, wasn't it?--Jimmy Kimmel
* I don't like this new Obama who hunts Muslim extremists. I like the old Obama who WAS a Muslim extremist." ?Stephen Colbert
* President Obama is slated to appear on one of Oprah's last shows. He's hoping it's the one on which she gives away 14 trillion dollars." ?Conan O'Brien
* President Obama is going to seek reelection. His slogan this time? 'Change you can believe in. This time I promise. Really.'" ?Jay Leno
* President Obama laid out his plan to reduce the $14 trillion national debt. Unfortunately for Sasha and Malia, it involves selling a lot of Girl Scout cookies." ?Jimmy Kimmel
* President Obama said in an interview over the weekend that he really misses being anonymous. He said, 'I miss Saturday mornings rolling out of bed and not shaving, going to the market...' Be careful what you wish for, 2012 is just around the corner!" ?Jay Leno
* President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it's not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate." ?Craig Ferguson
* President Obama's approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States." ?Jay Leno
* President Obama says that he prays every night before bed. Or as Fox News reported, 'Obama in Daily Talks With Allah.'" ?Conan O'Brien
* President Obama said he was always getting in trouble when he was in middle school. In fact, Obama said he talked so much during class, the teacher had to take away his teleprompter." ?Jimmy Fallon
* Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them." ?Jimmy Fallon
* That's pretty amazing, Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Ironically, his biggest accomplishment as president so far: winning the Nobel Peace Prize." --Jay Leno
* President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley -- all dependents." --Jay Leno
* It's a great day for our president, Barack Obama, who got to meet the Queen of England today. She very regally gave him a photograph of her, and he gave her an iPod! That's quite an unusual gift from the President. Usually he gives out about $150 million." --Craig Ferguson
* President Obama will begin a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are confusion, delusion, and desperation. " ?Jay Leno
* There's a term for people like President Obama, it's called probably not two terms. --Jimmy Kimmel
* Remember when the entire country rallied around candidate Obama in 2008 for hope and change? That was hilarious, wasn't it?--Jimmy Kimmel
* I don't like this new Obama who hunts Muslim extremists. I like the old Obama who WAS a Muslim extremist." ?Stephen Colbert
* President Obama is slated to appear on one of Oprah's last shows. He's hoping it's the one on which she gives away 14 trillion dollars." ?Conan O'Brien
* President Obama is going to seek reelection. His slogan this time? 'Change you can believe in. This time I promise. Really.'" ?Jay Leno
* President Obama laid out his plan to reduce the $14 trillion national debt. Unfortunately for Sasha and Malia, it involves selling a lot of Girl Scout cookies." ?Jimmy Kimmel
* President Obama said in an interview over the weekend that he really misses being anonymous. He said, 'I miss Saturday mornings rolling out of bed and not shaving, going to the market...' Be careful what you wish for, 2012 is just around the corner!" ?Jay Leno
* President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it's not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate." ?Craig Ferguson
* President Obama's approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States." ?Jay Leno
* President Obama says that he prays every night before bed. Or as Fox News reported, 'Obama in Daily Talks With Allah.'" ?Conan O'Brien
* President Obama said he was always getting in trouble when he was in middle school. In fact, Obama said he talked so much during class, the teacher had to take away his teleprompter." ?Jimmy Fallon
* Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them." ?Jimmy Fallon
* That's pretty amazing, Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Ironically, his biggest accomplishment as president so far: winning the Nobel Peace Prize." --Jay Leno
* President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley -- all dependents." --Jay Leno
* It's a great day for our president, Barack Obama, who got to meet the Queen of England today. She very regally gave him a photograph of her, and he gave her an iPod! That's quite an unusual gift from the President. Usually he gives out about $150 million." --Craig Ferguson
