Tuesday Joke

[Burner02]

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin.
Truth be told , he is a virgin too , but she doesn't know that.
On their wedding night , she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring:
"My darring," he whispers , "I know dis your firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you , I give you anyting you want , I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask... so... whatchu want?" he says , trying to sound experienced and worldly , which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.
She eventually shyly whispers back , "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... Numbaa 69."
More thoughtful silence , this time from him.

Eventually , in a puzzled tone he asks her... "You want... Garlic Chicken with steam vegetable? "

 

[DOMS]

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."