When you date someone, do you tell them everything?

[Little Wing]

he must be doing something right he got two cakes.

 

[Flex]

I've told Jenny pretty much everything I can think of, even the not so "relationship friendly" stories

Did you tell her about the uh, well, i guess they could be called hookers, but I don't remember paying [/QUOTE]

I don't think you should blurt your life out to everybody that you come across, but if its something serious that could very well turn into one of those life long things, then you should share with them. If they can't take what you've done in your childhood or whatever else, well.. thats not the kind of person I'd want in my life.

exactly.

If you can't have an honest relationship with open communication, then it's like you're not even having a real relationship, cuz you or them are hiding shit, and it's not the "real" you/them.

 

[John H.]

Well, I'm not sure I agree with that John. First off, why if a couple loves each other and click on that basic primal level, would they need to have mystery in their relationship? I know girls (and I guess guys) like that "bad boy" persona that has mystery to it, but thats someone you hit it up with in high school and college, not somebody that you marry.

Why? Because next thing you know their psychotic ass that was hiding their dark secrets starts beating you and cutting your body for their enjoyment. I'm not down with that crazy shit.

Secondly, if you really care for someone, I think you'd want them to care for you... knowing the entire you, and not basing that concept on some false front that you put up to entice them. If thats the case, the person doesn't really care for you, they care for the "actor" that you currently are, not whats deep inside.

Why get into a serious relationship at all if you can't share everything about yourself and be accepted for who you are? That just seems counter-productive to me.

Hi Eggs,

I said I feel important things MUST be known by each involved. BEFOREHAND. If you (meaning anyone here) are a person who beats others, are psychotic, like to cut others up or even yourself, abuse people, are a thief, use others for your personal benefit and then just throw people away, etc. ... THAT MUST BE KNOWN BEFOREHAND. And I am not saying that someone should just ignore IMPORTANT things even when they are found out. A person can not be a "pollyana" about a relationship and just "pretend" - they must be realistic...

Knowing EVERYTHING about someone removes the mystery that can spark a relationship and sustain it with those you CARE about - and they you. It is like removing all the pleasant surprises you may have in store for your partner as an example. It ends up there is nothing left. When you can ALWAYS "figure out" someone ALL the time where's the mystery or the surprises that are pleasant and meaningful?

I am not a fatalist and am not one to never see any good in anything or anyone all the time. A person must have good "radar", that is, have or develop the ability to accurately KNOW the person they are with and WHO they really are - the ALL of the person without "exposing them" totally.

"Bad boys" are not always "Bad Boys" in reality. And HONESTLY speaking. And someone can not just ignore what truly is BAD.

Take Care, John H.