I have a little question that has drove me crazy from Day #1 and still sort of baffels me. Since going to therapy (about 20 sessions so far and much much better) no one is truly understand the way the body works as far as nutrients and cals. Here is my question.
I am 30 years old....so my metabolism is slowing way down, however I am on HRT, so this may play a role. My job is very stressfull, my relationship with my family and girlfriend have become exqualy as bad. Therefore, I use the gym as my escape from reality....my release.....so it's no longer part of my disease where I feel like I need to burn off everything I ate (trust me, its a sick disease thank god it's getting better) i just need to go.......I've been training or doing somthing every single day with no days of absolutel comple rest. Although I do sit all day, so my job is not physcialy stressful, I consider this rest. My sleep stinks. I eat right before bed, which helps me konk out for 5-6 hours, but after my firt piss, i'm up every hour.....sucks.
THe scaries part of all this is I have recently been able to admit my drug abuse. What? yes......I got hooked on oxycontin about a year ago after minor dental surgery and found that at first it cleared my head and I was able to gain weight (FINALLY!!!), but now it's sick......Granted, I have been able to keep it under control and am not like most addicts. I take NEVER more than 2 tabs a day total...period. 1 in the am, 1 post training........just makes me very tired now, but I find I can concentrate better with no pain (mainly lower back and stomach).....I also have had stints with MJ and Bain, both suck, but never ever anything harder than that. No booze, no harsh harsh drugs..just ox bain and mj.....pls hrt.....anyways, why am I saying this, well part of the therapy is to come clean to everyone it'll help me out so thanks for still reading.
Next, my weight. Fully clothed and in the pm, I weigh in at 154lbs.........sure my abs are pretty damn good, but I keep getting weaker and weaker and weaker as my weight drops. My skin looks pale like I'm dying...my face is sunken in, etc. I dont understand this since many dudes are my height and weigh 120lbs, they dont work out, but dont look very bad in the face. I can wrap my hands around my bis, my quads are toothpicks, and the worse part was I was once a machine in college at 240 and solid....now, all I have is a six pack, no strength, etc....so, if that gets blurry, obviously I get depressed because I work so hard on keeping a clean diet, I do no cardio but that shouldnt matter....
NOW, the point of my thread..........why do I have to eat sooooo much more than he average person? I mean look at the diets around you....some dont eat all day save a bagel and coffee, a sandwhich for lunch, and dinner......and I'm eating every 2 hours......about 2800 cals, under 20g of carbs, under 100g of fat and under 250g of protein.....and I'm still skinnhy, frail, weak, feel like piss, etc. But it's much much more than the average and I dont do anything all day....just a high volume workout for 1.5 hours in the pm which I bullshi around a little to (I never did before, but I'm trying to balance life and just get in a good workout now....not concerned with strength I just want the size!.....so can anyone assist me? Jst an explanation.....pm me as I dont want want this to turn out to be another flame post......sorry if I wasted your time, but I'm scared....what would you do? Should I just eat my ass off for 1 week, eat everything, constantly eat....gain a little chub, but will it make me feel better? Sorry.....
I am 30 years old....so my metabolism is slowing way down, however I am on HRT, so this may play a role. My job is very stressfull, my relationship with my family and girlfriend have become exqualy as bad. Therefore, I use the gym as my escape from reality....my release.....so it's no longer part of my disease where I feel like I need to burn off everything I ate (trust me, its a sick disease thank god it's getting better) i just need to go.......I've been training or doing somthing every single day with no days of absolutel comple rest. Although I do sit all day, so my job is not physcialy stressful, I consider this rest. My sleep stinks. I eat right before bed, which helps me konk out for 5-6 hours, but after my firt piss, i'm up every hour.....sucks.
THe scaries part of all this is I have recently been able to admit my drug abuse. What? yes......I got hooked on oxycontin about a year ago after minor dental surgery and found that at first it cleared my head and I was able to gain weight (FINALLY!!!), but now it's sick......Granted, I have been able to keep it under control and am not like most addicts. I take NEVER more than 2 tabs a day total...period. 1 in the am, 1 post training........just makes me very tired now, but I find I can concentrate better with no pain (mainly lower back and stomach).....I also have had stints with MJ and Bain, both suck, but never ever anything harder than that. No booze, no harsh harsh drugs..just ox bain and mj.....pls hrt.....anyways, why am I saying this, well part of the therapy is to come clean to everyone it'll help me out so thanks for still reading.
Next, my weight. Fully clothed and in the pm, I weigh in at 154lbs.........sure my abs are pretty damn good, but I keep getting weaker and weaker and weaker as my weight drops. My skin looks pale like I'm dying...my face is sunken in, etc. I dont understand this since many dudes are my height and weigh 120lbs, they dont work out, but dont look very bad in the face. I can wrap my hands around my bis, my quads are toothpicks, and the worse part was I was once a machine in college at 240 and solid....now, all I have is a six pack, no strength, etc....so, if that gets blurry, obviously I get depressed because I work so hard on keeping a clean diet, I do no cardio but that shouldnt matter....
NOW, the point of my thread..........why do I have to eat sooooo much more than he average person? I mean look at the diets around you....some dont eat all day save a bagel and coffee, a sandwhich for lunch, and dinner......and I'm eating every 2 hours......about 2800 cals, under 20g of carbs, under 100g of fat and under 250g of protein.....and I'm still skinnhy, frail, weak, feel like piss, etc. But it's much much more than the average and I dont do anything all day....just a high volume workout for 1.5 hours in the pm which I bullshi around a little to (I never did before, but I'm trying to balance life and just get in a good workout now....not concerned with strength I just want the size!.....so can anyone assist me? Jst an explanation.....pm me as I dont want want this to turn out to be another flame post......sorry if I wasted your time, but I'm scared....what would you do? Should I just eat my ass off for 1 week, eat everything, constantly eat....gain a little chub, but will it make me feel better? Sorry.....
