This was written by a friend of mine.
Jehovah's Witnesses 101
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A Great Way To Get Rid Of (Or Have Sex) With Jehovah's Witnesses For Males!
I know everybody hates it every Saturday when you are off work, you just came from the bar last night and you are trying to get that looooong sleep in that morning, but two (sometimes more) pestering ass religious freaks, usually two women, young or old, consistenly bang at your door waiting patiently and eager to f*ck your day up by ruining your sleep with their bullsh*t.
Wellllllll....this is how you handle this situation and I found this out by mistake...
Now pay close attention because every significant detail is important!
When they ring your doorbell and you see it's them, don't get pissed, instead this is what you do...yell out "Just a minuuuute!" strip down to a t-shirt and your boxers....
Note: This WILL NOT work with briefs and you CANNOT laugh while doing this, you have to keep your face calm and serious! You will not go to hell for pranking deceivers of the true gospel so don't worry!
and let your d*ck hang out of the slit/hole that's in the front....
Now answer the door first thing that's going to happen is the elder Jehovahs Witness is going to introduce herself, her partner and begin talking...
The one talking is not going to notice your johnson hanging out of trousers, it's usually the one waiting behind her. If you look you will notice her looking down with an confused embarassed look of admiration on her face.
After she introduces herself and ask her dumb ass question about salvation, do you believe in Jesus Christ, do you want to live in eternal happiness...blah...blah...blah...and all that other bullsh*t they try to manipulate you with,
Answer "YES!"...
...and start talking about how much you love The Lord, but NEVER say that you are interested in their religion or this WILL NOT work!
The key is, is to out talk them and never give them a chance to speak, eventually the Elder will notice your d*ck winking at her and will try to make you aware, but whatever you do ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T REALLY HEAR HER CORRECTLY AND YOU ARE NOT BOTHERED BY IT and continue rambling...
Continue talking and everytime she or they try to interrupt you cut them by...
If she taps you or tries to talk over you respond by saying...
"Whoo it did feel a little drafty giggle and continue talking without putting your dick up"
continuing rambling
and the more they try to get your attention the more you just shake your head in acknowledgement and say "Yeah, but.....*continue rambling*"
Eventually they will
A) Leave and say they'll come back another time, can they reschedule and advise you to be dressed next time , but if they do come back do the same thing all over again !
B) If they don't say nothing the whole time, but you notice their eyes keep looking down, insist to them that they should come sit down so you can further discuss your interest in the bible
a. If they say "No Thank You, we have a lot of people we need to see" keep insisting that they come in because you have more questions for them and that you truly are interested, but never say interested in JOINING just say "INTERESTED" nothing more, nothing less (that's important)
b. If they come in, seat them on the couch, then sit right next to them and continue talking with your d*ck out as if nothing is wrong, keep scooting closer and closer, if they still proceed to look, tell them how beautiful their eyes are and that you like their dresses, change the subjects and begin to compliment and talk about them
C) Now if they smile after doing and following option "B" and it's sub steps, now you know that they are some desperate freaks and you could possibly get some action this morning out of this situation...in order to pull this off stand in front of, but in between the both of them while they are seated on the couch while your dick is only a foot away, no more-no less, from their faces, see what happens and then take it from there...
Only two things can happen out of this situation either they will get aroused and leave because they fear being lead in temptation because of their lust and hypocrisy, or either they will come in get even more aroused and give up some good ol' deceiving religious freak ass and head....It's not indecent exposure if you in your own home and you don't sexually assault, chase or touch them, they cannot press charges...75% of my family on my mother's side are Jehovah's Witnesses and they (my family) are the biggest hypocrites I have ever seen in my life and their friends at their "HALL" (it's blashphemous to call it a church lol) are liars, cheaters, and SUPER FREAKS and most be fine as hell...So I know what's up, they try to act goody goody while witnessing to the world, putting on that front, but don't let them fool you, they are freaks like everyone else
Try out, it will work, either way it's hella funny! Have Fun!
Jehovah's Witnesses 101
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
A Great Way To Get Rid Of (Or Have Sex) With Jehovah's Witnesses For Males!
I know everybody hates it every Saturday when you are off work, you just came from the bar last night and you are trying to get that looooong sleep in that morning, but two (sometimes more) pestering ass religious freaks, usually two women, young or old, consistenly bang at your door waiting patiently and eager to f*ck your day up by ruining your sleep with their bullsh*t.
Wellllllll....this is how you handle this situation and I found this out by mistake...
Now pay close attention because every significant detail is important!
When they ring your doorbell and you see it's them, don't get pissed, instead this is what you do...yell out "Just a minuuuute!" strip down to a t-shirt and your boxers....
Note: This WILL NOT work with briefs and you CANNOT laugh while doing this, you have to keep your face calm and serious! You will not go to hell for pranking deceivers of the true gospel so don't worry!
and let your d*ck hang out of the slit/hole that's in the front....
Now answer the door first thing that's going to happen is the elder Jehovahs Witness is going to introduce herself, her partner and begin talking...
The one talking is not going to notice your johnson hanging out of trousers, it's usually the one waiting behind her. If you look you will notice her looking down with an confused embarassed look of admiration on her face.
After she introduces herself and ask her dumb ass question about salvation, do you believe in Jesus Christ, do you want to live in eternal happiness...blah...blah...blah...and all that other bullsh*t they try to manipulate you with,
Answer "YES!"...
...and start talking about how much you love The Lord, but NEVER say that you are interested in their religion or this WILL NOT work!
The key is, is to out talk them and never give them a chance to speak, eventually the Elder will notice your d*ck winking at her and will try to make you aware, but whatever you do ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T REALLY HEAR HER CORRECTLY AND YOU ARE NOT BOTHERED BY IT and continue rambling...
Continue talking and everytime she or they try to interrupt you cut them by...
If she taps you or tries to talk over you respond by saying...
"Whoo it did feel a little drafty giggle and continue talking without putting your dick up"
continuing rambling
and the more they try to get your attention the more you just shake your head in acknowledgement and say "Yeah, but.....*continue rambling*"
Eventually they will
A) Leave and say they'll come back another time, can they reschedule and advise you to be dressed next time , but if they do come back do the same thing all over again !
B) If they don't say nothing the whole time, but you notice their eyes keep looking down, insist to them that they should come sit down so you can further discuss your interest in the bible
a. If they say "No Thank You, we have a lot of people we need to see" keep insisting that they come in because you have more questions for them and that you truly are interested, but never say interested in JOINING just say "INTERESTED" nothing more, nothing less (that's important)
b. If they come in, seat them on the couch, then sit right next to them and continue talking with your d*ck out as if nothing is wrong, keep scooting closer and closer, if they still proceed to look, tell them how beautiful their eyes are and that you like their dresses, change the subjects and begin to compliment and talk about them
C) Now if they smile after doing and following option "B" and it's sub steps, now you know that they are some desperate freaks and you could possibly get some action this morning out of this situation...in order to pull this off stand in front of, but in between the both of them while they are seated on the couch while your dick is only a foot away, no more-no less, from their faces, see what happens and then take it from there...
Only two things can happen out of this situation either they will get aroused and leave because they fear being lead in temptation because of their lust and hypocrisy, or either they will come in get even more aroused and give up some good ol' deceiving religious freak ass and head....It's not indecent exposure if you in your own home and you don't sexually assault, chase or touch them, they cannot press charges...75% of my family on my mother's side are Jehovah's Witnesses and they (my family) are the biggest hypocrites I have ever seen in my life and their friends at their "HALL" (it's blashphemous to call it a church lol) are liars, cheaters, and SUPER FREAKS and most be fine as hell...So I know what's up, they try to act goody goody while witnessing to the world, putting on that front, but don't let them fool you, they are freaks like everyone else
Try out, it will work, either way it's hella funny! Have Fun!
