You need a vacation to some tropical beaches asap.
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Suicide. Anyone thought about it?
- Thread starter TJTJ
- Start date
You need a vacation to some tropical beaches asap.
yeah come to the tropical beaches in Miami. all the bitches are plastic, gold diggers, full of Jersey shore looking d-bags, and everything is over priced on South Beach.
I dare you to drive on the Palmetto or in traffic anywhere.
No one speaks English.
and whether or not you want to get in a fight someone will start one for you.
Dude stop confusing me, I don't give 3 fucks about Miami or "repping it". I meant tropical beaches in the Caribbean. Dominican Republic, cuba , Puerto Rico. etc.
Awesome thing about manic depression is that you get those high highs... yessss 
Who needs a tropical beach, pfft.
Who needs a tropical beach, pfft.
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Awesome thing about manic depression is that you get those high highs... yessss
The highs are nearly as bad as the lows. Your body can only handle a day or two of it before sleep deprivation kicks in and you start to hallucinate. You can't work or socialize because you are talking like a meth head. It is hell on your body and especially your cardiovascular system. I have had to go to the ER on the forth or fifth day, and it took them 5 times just to get a vile of blood because my veins collapsed every time they tried to get a needle in.
I have been on some form or another of anti-psychotic medication for the nearly half my life. It has gotten old, and I'm pretty pissed off about it. I go from depression to rage to normal to bliss to insanity then back down the chain again until I find myself back at rage again. I truly hope there is a God made in our image, because I have a kick in the nuts I have been saving for that piece of shit for well over a decade.
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I thought about it when I was in high school because I was bullied daily and my family ignored me. I was seriously on my way to becoming one of those Columbine kids, pretty messed up when I think about it now but I often had thoughts of killing people and myself.
Triggers from those times still haunt me 20 years later. Fortunately now I'm much better equipped to deal with it. The only medication I've ever taken is a big dose of metal and washed it down with a glass of Buddhism.
Triggers from those times still haunt me 20 years later. Fortunately now I'm much better equipped to deal with it. The only medication I've ever taken is a big dose of metal and washed it down with a glass of Buddhism.
Chubby
Elite Member
It is like protein bars with different flavors, not everyone likes same flavor.
yep. gram of heroin up the nose and I had to be resuscitated and spent like 2 weeks in the psych ward at this hospital nearby. I finally got clean after that though and haven't had any bad spells of depression like that since I did. Life is too precious to waste or throw away.
I dealt with thoughts of suicide as a teenager. It was a terrible time for me, immense social and familial pressures, very few emotional tools, plus raging hormones. Also have a family history of anxiety spectrum disorders. My brother, and each of my sons dealt with thoughts of suicide at the age of 11 and 1/2. Coincidence? I think not. All are high IQ, and that age is when hormones kick in......
That said, sounds like you definitely had some damage due to your injuries. The symptoms you describe, as well as the location of the bumps go hand in hand.
Medications....I've tried half a dozen over the years, at least. Nothing works without side effects I am not willing to live with. Psych meds aren't all they are cracked up to be, and I've had far more luck with orthomolecular medicine in terms of treating these things in my kids and myself. I've studied eastern mysticism and philosophy which has pretty much shored up my intellect fairly soundly. Now, when I am dealing with emotional pain - it is purely pain, and not the screaming questions into the night.
Many of the things people have listed here, I use also. Metal, lifting - allow me to vent and focus the rage (not anger) in a relatively posative way, which is disgusting really, but it releases the pressure on a regular basis so that when I do blow, it isn't nearly as extreme as it could have been. I also have several people, with varying degrees of understanding of my state of mind and life's view - if I call, they come. Safety first. I do the same for them. Not in the sense of suicidal thoughts, just more emotional boiling point. I no longer expect myself to live up to socially accepted expectations - I live and let live. The biggie here being letting MYSELF live.
I'd like to add that I do not handle emotions well. Am more of a rational thinker, so if i get 'thrown' into emotion, it overwhelms me. Have to fight my way back to logic- because physiologically my body responds so strongly to emotion it is overwhelming. It is during this 'fight' when the coping mechanisms come in handy.
That said, sounds like you definitely had some damage due to your injuries. The symptoms you describe, as well as the location of the bumps go hand in hand.
Medications....I've tried half a dozen over the years, at least. Nothing works without side effects I am not willing to live with. Psych meds aren't all they are cracked up to be, and I've had far more luck with orthomolecular medicine in terms of treating these things in my kids and myself. I've studied eastern mysticism and philosophy which has pretty much shored up my intellect fairly soundly. Now, when I am dealing with emotional pain - it is purely pain, and not the screaming questions into the night.
Many of the things people have listed here, I use also. Metal, lifting - allow me to vent and focus the rage (not anger) in a relatively posative way, which is disgusting really, but it releases the pressure on a regular basis so that when I do blow, it isn't nearly as extreme as it could have been. I also have several people, with varying degrees of understanding of my state of mind and life's view - if I call, they come. Safety first. I do the same for them. Not in the sense of suicidal thoughts, just more emotional boiling point. I no longer expect myself to live up to socially accepted expectations - I live and let live. The biggie here being letting MYSELF live.
I'd like to add that I do not handle emotions well. Am more of a rational thinker, so if i get 'thrown' into emotion, it overwhelms me. Have to fight my way back to logic- because physiologically my body responds so strongly to emotion it is overwhelming. It is during this 'fight' when the coping mechanisms come in handy.
Chubby
Elite Member
I think what prevented me from commiting suicide was my mom and my cute little sister. I think my mom had some kind of danzerous disease and she thought she won't be there for her kids too long. That's why she kept telling me that if dies some day, I have to take care of my little sister. She kept telling me this everytime she saw me unhappy about life. When I looked at my sister, she was so sweet and cute and holding me with her little hand. I think it changed my mind and I really wanted to take care of her. Later I think my mom died knowing that I will take care of my little sister.
Dr.Abs
Registered
Started having these thoughts around age 16
Still do to this day,
The only thing that changes is how frequently i think about it & the circumstances that make me think about it
As to how frequent, well...
When life is "good" maybe once or twice a month & it's just a transient thought that goes away when my attention is shifted toward something else.
When circumstances are more depressing, difficult or otherwise negative, these thoughts intensify accordingly.
The once or twice a month becomes a few times per week, and before long, the few times per week turn into an everyday, all day lingering
thought.
I've thought about how to do it in several ways, utilizing surroundings, like jumping from a high place or under a train, getting my self into a
situation where i know i'll be lucky enough to get shot, making a nice cocktail of OTC chemicals or meds, or even something as simple as
shooting an air bubble into my vein.
Funny thing is no one would ever think or even believe I'd think about suicide by looking or talking to me.
Tried heavy & death metal like some of the guys in here said, but i've only gotten worse from it
Also tried taking out my rage on the weights, and found that to be somewhat helpful.
The thing is that this doesn't always work; sometimes the thoughts are so powerful, they suck the energy & focus out of me
I've found that this correlation between intelligence & depression is true,
a lot of times one's own mind is their best assest & their greatest enemy
The latest big culprit to my misery is a broken heart that won't heal
Still do to this day,
The only thing that changes is how frequently i think about it & the circumstances that make me think about it
As to how frequent, well...
When life is "good" maybe once or twice a month & it's just a transient thought that goes away when my attention is shifted toward something else.
When circumstances are more depressing, difficult or otherwise negative, these thoughts intensify accordingly.
The once or twice a month becomes a few times per week, and before long, the few times per week turn into an everyday, all day lingering
thought.
I've thought about how to do it in several ways, utilizing surroundings, like jumping from a high place or under a train, getting my self into a
situation where i know i'll be lucky enough to get shot, making a nice cocktail of OTC chemicals or meds, or even something as simple as
shooting an air bubble into my vein.
Funny thing is no one would ever think or even believe I'd think about suicide by looking or talking to me.
Tried heavy & death metal like some of the guys in here said, but i've only gotten worse from it
Also tried taking out my rage on the weights, and found that to be somewhat helpful.
The thing is that this doesn't always work; sometimes the thoughts are so powerful, they suck the energy & focus out of me
I've found that this correlation between intelligence & depression is true,
a lot of times one's own mind is their best assest & their greatest enemy
The latest big culprit to my misery is a broken heart that won't heal
The funny thing is I say to myself "Everyday I face my fears but always leave victorious" and its true. Im sure some could relate. This is my motivation when I walk into the gym and I should be using this as a daily outlook. It could be work, relationships(being in one or being alone) money or just the WO of the day lol
The weights are my release. It is my Zen. I can relate to how powerful the mind is. Whether for the best or worst. It can and will make it happen. All we can do is show up, do it and finish. that right there is like 95% of the work, just showing up.
The weights are my release. It is my Zen. I can relate to how powerful the mind is. Whether for the best or worst. It can and will make it happen. All we can do is show up, do it and finish. that right there is like 95% of the work, just showing up.
Inventive1
Registered
I knew a guy who commited suicide in his late thirties. He lived a somewhat troubled life. I don't know what factor or combination of events in his life led him to kill himself. I did see the damage his decision created in his family. It has ruined his family. His father blamed himself for his son's death. Today, his father is just a shell of what he used to be. Based on his appearance, he aged 30 years in less than 2 calendar years. His mom is a depressed, emotional wreck. His brother and sister's families have suffered. Suicide can produce unforseen effects and mess up many friends and family members.
Suicide among elderly folks could be a little different situation. When I was a teenager I didn't understand why some elderly people seemed to like the idea of passing away. Some older folks give instructions to NOT give them CPR or other life saving measures. Not exactly suicide, but not to far removed from it either. In some places and situations elderly folks who are near death are allowed to kill themselves under their doctor's supervision.
Now that I'm older and have seen some of the pain and suffering elderly folks endure, I can understand why some older folks could prefer death to life. People who are in extreme pain with NO hope of recovery could certainly reach a point where suicide starts looking attractive. Should they be allowed or assisted in commiting suicide? I don't know. I'm unsure of the best answer in this situation. I hope I never have to make such a decision.
Suicide among elderly folks could be a little different situation. When I was a teenager I didn't understand why some elderly people seemed to like the idea of passing away. Some older folks give instructions to NOT give them CPR or other life saving measures. Not exactly suicide, but not to far removed from it either. In some places and situations elderly folks who are near death are allowed to kill themselves under their doctor's supervision.
Now that I'm older and have seen some of the pain and suffering elderly folks endure, I can understand why some older folks could prefer death to life. People who are in extreme pain with NO hope of recovery could certainly reach a point where suicide starts looking attractive. Should they be allowed or assisted in commiting suicide? I don't know. I'm unsure of the best answer in this situation. I hope I never have to make such a decision.
I don't think there are many that don't feel depression at times and in varying degrees. between the naturally occurring depression that I have and my PSTD from combat I definitely have my bad days, weeks and months. most of my friends view my life is being "perfect" and would never understand, the shrinks at the VA just want to medicate me.
fixing things is easy for me, but not much any of us can do about the human condition.
fixing things is easy for me, but not much any of us can do about the human condition.
When a man is tired of very desperate often think of suicide, life and death are one feet, just go wrong step between thoroughly finished.
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Oh shit. I wonder if that's what wrong with me.
I've had several blows to the head.
Had migraines a lot as a child too, and less as an adult (mostly thanks to better nutrition/weed) but still get 'em.
I would always puke too.
Read more philosophy. Read actual philosophy. Start with plato and move your way forward.
Helped me a lot.
And everyone else around you seems to be successful in life or at least achieving some of their dreams, but day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year pass for you and none of your dreams are coming true and every time you dare to hope, another door closes for you, but not for everyone else.
And one day you wake up in your 50's and realize if your dream is a great job, you are too old and no one wants you anymore.
Only if your dreams eventually materialize. There is nothing worse than liveing a LONG mediocre life.
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irish_2003
Board Rep
i think it's normal to at least think about it.....even how to do it or what people might say or act....remember "everyone loves you when you die".......but to actually take steps is a step towards insanity
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That's a person failing, not life. Life is full options and the ability to make what you want of it.
Most people won't try to make much of their lives. Which is why I stand by my statement that most poor people deserve to be poor.
this is going to sound odd because its from a cartoon but the Family Guy episode "Brain and Stewie" http://www.hulu.com/watch/143440/family-guy-brian-and-stewie Season 8 : Ep. 17 when they both get locked in a bank vault really hit home with me. There is a part in there
(I dont want to ruin it for those who havent seen it) where Brian talks about something and it really opened my eyes and gave me the sense Im not alone or better yet why didnt I think of that LOL
I was looking for a link to watch that show but couldnt find one.
If you can find it, watch it.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/143440/family-guy-brian-and-stewie
(I dont want to ruin it for those who havent seen it) where Brian talks about something and it really opened my eyes and gave me the sense Im not alone or better yet why didnt I think of that LOL
I was looking for a link to watch that show but couldnt find one.
If you can find it, watch it.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/143440/family-guy-brian-and-stewie
That shit is so true, my friend shot himself in my apartment and everyone who had ever talked to him cried for a damn month like they were his best friend. Most of these people didn't even have his number in their phone. It was weird, people that didn't even like him were making facebook memorial pages and stuff like that. Bunch of fake ass people.
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Just label your post as "spoiler" and write out the details.
Hey there is a lot of other stuff that happens too lol
It kinda comfort me when I saw that. I know its crazy because its a cartoon but they do have writers and I believe someone had to dive deep into themselves to write that part.
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You can get inspiration from any source. A cartoon, a TV show, a fictional book, or anything else. You find it where you find it. There's not rule about where you can't find it.
And yes, just because it's entertainment, doesn't mean that the writer wasn't being profound.
