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Well IM you are in for a treat, I just had the funniest hookup of my entire life. This should be a welcome break from Min0 copy pasting headlines and bullshit political threads.
Today I engaged in the most bizarre hookup of my entire life. I am gonna shorten it up as much as possible. I just got back home after dropping her off.
So I go out and fail at getting anyone to go home and sleep with me, this is par for any night I go out. While walking home I run into a girl I know who is 22 and has a 3 year old child, she has been out drinking so this child is out of the equation. I easily convince her to come back with me.
So we get to my house and get in bed, one thing leads to another and we are both naked about to fuck, I throw on a rubber and position myself for a good fucking, she starts crying and saying she loves me. This instantly makes me flaccid. I get out of bed and let her curl up on my bed, now this was a set back but I wasnt gonna let it stop me. So I look at some porn while she is curled up and get myself hard again. I climb back in bed and prop her up doggy style. Its important to note here that I have never fucked a chick in the ass, I always thought it was one step closer to homosexuality.
Well this changed tonight I saw my opportunity and I took it, I spit on my hand lubed it and thrust it in. Needlees to say she started crying becuase it hurt this time. I had no lube or anything close to it, and I really wanted to keep stabbing her ass. Thinking quick I grabbed two capsules of fish oil and broke them in my hands and rubbed them on my dick as lube. Man I thought I was so slick. It is important to note at this point she refused to give me head the entire night. So I thought I was so slick and said dont worry I got it handled and went back to the ass, she wasnt having any of it, she turned me over and after refusing for two hours went down on me. Almost instantly she puked all over my chest and sheets due to the fish oil i rubbed on myself expecting to use it as lube.
I didn't spell check or proof read this, its 8 hours part my bedtime and I had to share before I slept on my sheetless matress.
Today I engaged in the most bizarre hookup of my entire life. I am gonna shorten it up as much as possible. I just got back home after dropping her off.
So I go out and fail at getting anyone to go home and sleep with me, this is par for any night I go out. While walking home I run into a girl I know who is 22 and has a 3 year old child, she has been out drinking so this child is out of the equation. I easily convince her to come back with me.
So we get to my house and get in bed, one thing leads to another and we are both naked about to fuck, I throw on a rubber and position myself for a good fucking, she starts crying and saying she loves me. This instantly makes me flaccid. I get out of bed and let her curl up on my bed, now this was a set back but I wasnt gonna let it stop me. So I look at some porn while she is curled up and get myself hard again. I climb back in bed and prop her up doggy style. Its important to note here that I have never fucked a chick in the ass, I always thought it was one step closer to homosexuality.
Well this changed tonight I saw my opportunity and I took it, I spit on my hand lubed it and thrust it in. Needlees to say she started crying becuase it hurt this time. I had no lube or anything close to it, and I really wanted to keep stabbing her ass. Thinking quick I grabbed two capsules of fish oil and broke them in my hands and rubbed them on my dick as lube. Man I thought I was so slick. It is important to note at this point she refused to give me head the entire night. So I thought I was so slick and said dont worry I got it handled and went back to the ass, she wasnt having any of it, she turned me over and after refusing for two hours went down on me. Almost instantly she puked all over my chest and sheets due to the fish oil i rubbed on myself expecting to use it as lube.
I didn't spell check or proof read this, its 8 hours part my bedtime and I had to share before I slept on my sheetless matress.
That is hilarious. What made you decide to pick the asshole? Sounds risky, especially when the girl was drunk.
We ought to come up with the male version of "sex in the city". I could see this in the pilot episode
Oh man. That would scar for life!
