Originally posted by J'Bo
PB.
I think you brought up the averages in the "how many people have you slept with" thread. Do you ever know a women's first name before you BOINK her? do you think that perhaps you should emotionally connect with someone before physically connecting? i dont think your a sexoholic like you may protest to be...i think that your a lonely man trying to find someone and is going about the wrong way of getting it. Sorry if i sound judgemental here...its cause i am judging you, cause your my friend and i think that what your doing is bad FOR YOU. Sounds like your spinning your wheels in the mud. JMHO
I always know their first name.. maybe not their last name .. he he
Actually I don't think I have every slept with someone that I didn't know.. you know a real one night stand. I will admit this last one was pretty damn close to that though. I thought I had an idea of what she was like but after a few hours of being one on one I realized I was way off. She was no where near what I thought or who I thought she was.
J'bo I know you are trying to help and are being a really great supportive friend.. thank you!!!!!
and you are right.
Ever see the movie American Beauty? There are two movies that I hate.. that one and the other is "What Dreams May Come" with Robin Williams. I actualy love both of these movies but hate them for different reasons. The Robin Williams movie seriously depressed me and in a strange way had an effect on my marriage. It confused me on what I thought "In love" was. It made me question how much I actually loved my wife. I know stupid huh? But in reality or at least in my reality I didn't truly love her. I knew that then and I know that now.
The movie American Beauty is .. well my life. Not quite the age bracket for mid life crisis but I'm there. As I questioned my marriage I questioned my age. I started working out again. I didn't have some 16 year old Cheerleader I was chasing, but I was flirting and probably looking. I left my good job, forced out by my own hand really. I had a house, the family, the new cars. I had it all really. Heck I was getting ready to put up the white picket fence in the spring. In the movie he loses his job and works at a fast food resturaunt, I lost mine and work at a strip club... much better than serving burgers
. He bought his 78 Trans Am.. I bought a Harley. He was looking for his youth and so am I. I'm pretty much at the end of the movie now. The only difference is I don't expect the neighbor to come blow my brains out...
So where do that leave me??? I'm trying to enjoy life but fall into these little loop holes. What it's gonna take to really enjoy it? Love. True love. I want that someone to love. Someone who I would be willing to spend the rest of eternity with in hell if needed.
Now finding that person...
Enough for today. I'm in a great mood and no way am I going to ruin it today!!!!
I almost got a dog... almost. I really want a Golden Retriever though. I just picture Carter having so much for with her... yes her. Hmmm maybe that's my love of my life.. LOL But I'll wait. Not ready nor do I have the time to give the love a dog needs. Heck can't even give a woman the love she needs. Ah that's the problem.. not enought time!!! The lottery is over 66 million... tickets to and from, rooms and everything is on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Later all!!! Miss ya
and thank you so much for hearing my crap
XXXOOO
Roger
and i cant go to Vegas cause i would have no job....and you wont buy me a lottery ticket so i have to work 
PB
