Do you believe in spanking?

[mmafiter]

I can't remember if this question was ever brought up here, if it was, I apologize. This question was posed at another forum I frequent and the responses lead to some good debate.

Here's my take;

I do believe in spanking children that step out of line. I have seen parents who let their kids get away with murder and never raise a hand. They just keep saying "Johnny, I'm going to count to three. You're not being nice." etc.. The kid has a little devil grin on his face cause he knows Mom isn't going to do anything.

I don't spank my kids now...they are 13 and 9 years old and good kids. But when they were 4 or 5, I didn't let him get away with things. Kids will test their boundaries at this age and if you're soft, they will become monsters by the time they're teenagers.

You can't reason with young children. I spanked my children until they reached around 5 years old, then they started to be able to listen to reason. I didn't spank my kids at the slightest provocation though, they had to really push it to get a spanking.
I haven't had to spank my 14 year old (Not that I would now, for at least 9 years. And my 9 year old hasn't been spanked in at least 5 years.

The thing with kids who were raised properly, if the kids are misbehaving, and it goes on and on. There comes a time when I just look at my kids and say quietly "stop it.", and the shit stops instantly. Cause they know they are getting close to the line where dad WILL kick there ass.

 

[katie64]

I spank my children only if they put themselves in a hazardous situation, like being in the middle of the road with a car coming, or standing on top of the stone bridge next to my house which drops down to the carriage path, anything they do that puts their life in danger, I spank them, I have 3 children and have probably had to raise my hand only 10 times..............

 

[katie64]

I would also add that like MMA, they were young when I had to spank them, plus they scared the hell out of me...............their still young just know better now

 

[Pianomahnn]

Absolutely.

Spanking is most likely the single most effective form of punishment, granted it comes from a loving hand.

My parents spanked me, and I thank them for it. I wouldn't learn a lesson from being grounded, or having a toy taken away. But pain. Pain is something a child remembers. It's a personality/action shaper. Spanking most certainly does NOT create violent children, as these pathetic liberal hippy types would like others to believe.

Beating, on the other hand, is horrible.

I will spank my kids. And they will learn. And they'll be good kids because of it.

edit: After actually reading MMA's post ( ) I'd like to add a few more words. I really wish more parents would spank their children. It's very obvious which children have authoritative parents, and those who have passive parents. Passive parenting creates children with no boundries, and most likely little respect. Authoratitive, my parents and MMA, tend to create the best children. The children learn lessons, know what is a good behavior and what is not. There is also authoritarian, which is where the parents who beat their children fit in. Bad.

Why would a child not continue to do something they get joy from (throwing things, etc) if they are not met with something which teaches them a lesson. A mother counting to three is not a freaking lesson. My mother, going for the wooden spoon (that was on days when I was really unruly!), is certainly a lesson. If there are not an repurcussions after the count of 3, what does it matter? Hell, count to fifty billion, your child sucks now anyways. But the count of 3 in my household meant a sore ass for a while, and a great chance I wouldn't commit that certain offense again.

I wonder if this sort of punishment would work on adults, though. I recall a nation which canes their less noble citizens, something I wouldn't mind seeing. 30 lashes from a cane I bet some of these people would think twice about commiting any offenses.

 

[Arnold]

I actually agree with Pianomahnn.

 

[katie64]

Originally posted by Prince
I actually agree with Pianomahnn.

I do too.......... very insightful Pianomahnn for not having children, you'll be a good dad, did you read the thread "how old", that was interesting too...............

 

[firestorm]

My 2 boys are ages 6 and 9 and to this day I have yet to lay a hand on them in the form of a spanking. I think if you have good communicational skills, spanking are not required. I can also say that I am FAR from being a passive individual. When my kids do get out of line the feel my wrath in some form of punishment. It may be early bed time, no play time, no TV, no video games, or the good old 'LOUD' reprimand. This may be due to my years of military and martial arts instruction but regardless it works.
I can say that my boys are poster children for being well behaved. I can't tell you how many people in public have commented to my wife or myself about how well behaved they are. So my answer is NO to spankings. Although,, I would spank Katie if she likes. hahahahaha

 

[Rob_NC]

I have and will continue to spank both of my kids if needed. Just last weekend, the family and I were at a store trying to make some important decisions. The kids were wandering around all over the place. Soon it became too much. After repeated scoldings, most of which were ignored, I planted my hand squarely across their asses. The problem was solved. They dared not move more than 5 feet from either of us.

I usually use a smack on the butt as a wake up call. These people that say you need to reason with a child obviously have never had children. A child's mind isn't mature enough to entirely comprehend reason.

 

[Rusty]

My kids are 15=girl, 14=boy, 13=girl, 10=girl. All four of them do exactly as they are told. I barley have to say anything to any of them any more. With that said. I have busted all of their ass's every time they needed it. The 10 year old got caught in a lie just last night. So she got her ass busted with a belt. She kept telling lies to cover up other lies. So she got three swats with the belt. One for every lie. And when this kind of punishment is administered, my wife and I are both present.

 

[I Are Baboon]

I think a good spanking is a very effective form of discipline. Today's society is too sensitive as to how parents treat their kids. If a child gets out of line, few things get their attention like a good whack to the ass. My mom used to knock me around pretty good, and I deserved every beating I got. If a kid deserves to be hit, more power to the parents. My father used to hit me for stupid shit, and he wondered why I would flinch when he walked behind me.

 

[Pianomahnn]

Originally posted by Prince
I actually agree with Pianomahnn.

Donations to the "Pianomahnn is l337" fund?

 

[Rusty]

Originally posted by I Are Baboon
My father used to hit me for stupid shit, and he wondered why I would flinch when he walked behind me.

he he......sounds like my dad..........

I really have to give my dad a lot of credit. He really knew what he was doing. I have never been arrested or gone to jail. Never got into trouble for anything. I have worked my ass off my whole life. And am making a decent living for my wife and kids. And I owe a lot to my dad.............And before he died, I told him almost this very thing.

 

[I Are Baboon]

Originally posted by Rusty
he he......sounds like my dad..........

I really have to give my dad a lot of credit. He really knew what he was doing. I have never been arrested or gone to jail. Never got into trouble for anything. I have worked my ass off my whole life. And am making a decent living for my wife and kids. And I owe a lot to my dad.............And before he died, I told him almost this very thing.

Well I have not seen my father since 1985, so fuck him. Mom raised three kids on her own.

 

[Rusty]

Originally posted by I Are Baboon
Well I have not seen my father since 1985, so fuck him. Mom raised three kids on her own.

Sorry IAB.......

 

[I Are Baboon]

Originally posted by Rusty
Sorry IAB.......

Thanks, but no need. Despite having no dad around for most of my childhood, I was a really happy kid.

 

[mmafiter]

I don't agree with the whole using a belt thing, too much like a beating to me.

I'm more along the lines of Rob_NC, where the kid gets one or two quick whacks on the butt, and it's over.

I remember the last time I had to spank our 13 year old. I think he was maybe 7, and he was sent to his room for a punishment. He then started screaming and kicking at the walls continously. I warned him a couple times to stop it, but he wouldn't listen. So, he got a couple whacks on the butt and he settled down.

I found with our kids, they sometimes wanted to test the boundaries until they got a swat, or as in the case above, they were flipping out and couldn't seem to get control of themselves (more so the boy than the girl). In these types of cases, I believe reasoning isn't going to work.

I'd never think of spanking my 13 year old now, and it would be very unlikely that I would spank the 9 year old girl either. They can and do listen to reason, or other forms of punishment now.

 

[Rusty]

Originally posted by mmafiter
I don't agree with the whole using a belt thing, too much like a beating to me.

If I was to use my hand to whack the 10 year old girl, I'm afraid I'd hurt her, like break something.

 

[I Are Baboon]

Originally posted by mmafiter
I don't agree with the whole using a belt thing, too much like a beating to me.

My mom would use whatever she could get hands on. A belt, a spoon, a spatula, a stick, a broom handle. When she'd break a spoon on my ass, it'd very hard not to laugh. Lauging always just pissed her off more. My mom is a small lady and the "beatings" never hurt.

 

[mmafiter]

Originally posted by Rusty
If I was to use my hand to whack the 10 year old girl, I'm afraid I'd hurt her, like break something.

Break your hand or break the kid?!!? Holy geez!

 

[mmafiter]

Originally posted by I Are Baboon
My mom would use whatever she could get hands on. A belt, a spoon, a spatula, a stick, a broom handle. When she'd break a spoon on my ass, it'd very hard not to laugh. Lauging always just pissed her off more. My mom is a small lady and the "beatings" never hurt.

Oh, that's fine. I'm not saying you're a bad person if you use a belt, spoon, slipper, etc. I personally don't like it, that's all.

I've had my share of belts, etc, from my uncle and I didn't and still don't appreciate it. There was a guy who took his work spanking/beating children way too seriously. He called me once to apologize, and I toild him to fuck off.

 

[Rob_NC]

An off topic question for MMA. How does your son feel about having such a hottie for a momma?

 

[mmafiter]

Originally posted by Rob_NC
An off topic question for MMA. How does your son feel about having such a hottie for a momma?

I don't know, but I'm sure his friends have noticed.

Pretty soon we're going to have a bunch of horny teenage boys at our house gawking and staring. I just gotta keep w8lifter off all the fresh young meat.

 

[lina]

I do remember being spanked as a child and I turned out fine even though I'm not happy about it.

We try not to spank our children,( boy 7 girl 5) and use time-outs. This works fine with my daughter who takes her time outs quietly and goes up to her room. Comes back cheerful and pleasant.

Our son on the other hand, is like mmafiter's. Goes to the room, screaming, stomping, banging. Every second screams '"when is my time out done?!!" "I hate you!" etc. and it escalates that he gets himself so worked up that looses control.. it either turns into a shouting match between me and him OR I ignore him and that makes him go balistic!

So, the only way I have been able to stop that cycle, to my sadness, is to give him a quick wack to reality. It stops him right away, but I feel horrendous afterwards and hate myself! He then sees that aggression/hitting as ok and then takes it out on his sister.

 

[naturaltan]

I've spanked our daguther a few times ... and like most here have said, at 9, she no longer needs to spanked as she knows right from wrong. We have friends wanting to take her out due to her well behaved mannerisms. I've said this in many threads, her politeness is almost too much to take sometimes. Please this ... pardon me that ... excuse me there. My biggest pet peave though is people who do not listen to her polite questions. We go thru all the trouble of teaching her that if you're polite, people will listen. Then we have someone who ignores her and we then have to explain why. From kids today, and this is a sad statement, but I expect that. I do not know of many kids that use manners. From adults, I do not, but we're learning to expect it. When a child says, may I please ..... there should be a response of some kind! But many times there isn't and I just really don't get it.

 

[mmafiter]

Originally posted by lina
So, the only way I have been able to stop that cycle, to my sadness, is to give him a quick wack to reality. It stops him right away, but I feel horrendous afterwards and hate myself! He then sees that aggression/hitting as ok and then takes it out on his sister.

Sounds like he's testing you, and you are responding well, in my book. I didn't like spanking my children either, but I look at it as one of the tools in my parenting toolbox. Some jobs call for the screwdriver.....some jobs call for the hammer.

 

[mmafiter]

Originally posted by naturaltan
I've spanked our daguther a few times ... and like most here have said, at 9, she no longer needs to spanked as she knows right from wrong. We have friends wanting to take her out due to her well behaved mannerisms. I've said this in many threads, her politeness is almost too much to take sometimes. Please this ... pardon me that ... excuse me there. My biggest pet peave though is people who do not listen to her polite questions. We go thru all the trouble of teaching her that if you're polite, people will listen. Then we have someone who ignores her and we then have to explain why. From kids today, and this is a sad statement, but I expect that. I do not know of many kids that use manners. From adults, I do not, but we're learning to expect it. When a child says, may I please ..... there should be a response of some kind! But many times there isn't and I just really don't get it.

Our kids aren't as polite as yours sounds, but there have been times when my son will hold the door for people and they just walk by like he's the doorman or something!! I usually yell out "Hey, you're welcome!".

 

[lina]

Originally posted by mmafiter
Our kids aren't as polite as yours sounds, but there have been times when my son will hold the door for people and they just walk by like he's the doorman or something!! I usually yell out "Hey, you're welcome!".

It's funny you wrote this because I was going to write the same thing.

That's my son's complaint that ....."how come adults don't say 'thank you' when I hold the door open?" I should tell him to use your quote

 

[naturaltan]

Originally posted by mmafiter
Our kids aren't as polite as yours sounds, but there have been times when my son will hold the door for people and they just walk by like he's the doorman or something!! I usually yell out "Hey, you're welcome!".

I don't want to make her out like she doesn't have bad days, but those are usually far and few between. I guess I got off topic, but I do think the spanking she received helped her be the polite person she is now.

I think when family member's teenage kids ask if our 9yr old can 'hang with them' for a weekend, that says a lot.

 

[ALBOB]

Originally posted by lina Our son on the other hand, is like mmafiter's. Goes to the room, screaming, stomping, banging. Every second screams '"when is my time out done?!!" "I hate you!" etc. and it escalates that he gets himself so worked up that looses control.. it either turns into a shouting match between me and him OR I ignore him and that makes him go balistic!

So, the only way I have been able to stop that cycle, to my sadness, is to give him a quick wack to reality. It stops him right away, but I feel horrendous afterwards and hate myself! He then sees that aggression/hitting as ok and then takes it out on his sister.

If my brother or I ever pulled that we'd find out exactly what it's like to be a rug durnig spring cleaning. The beating would be INTENSE. No, I'm not saying you should whip him to within an inch of his life. What I am saying is that you're letting your own feelings of guilt get in the way of his "training". Think about it, children are kind of like any other young animal, they need to be taught what's right and what's wrong. In order to do that you have to use techniques they understand and that means reward and punishment. If you continually let him get away with throwing his temper tantrums he's never going to understand that's an unacceptable behavior. You have to stop the bahavior the moment it starts WITHOUT letting it escalate until you're angry too. Once you get angry all is lost because then, as you've already pointed out, he sees aggression as an acceptable form of behavior to relieve anger. Don't let your feelings of guilt get in the way of teaching him what's right and wrong. You're their parent, you're not their friend. Do what's right.

 

[craig777]

I believe in spanking, and I spank my wife whenever she needs it

I actually believe in spanking my children and I am actually a strict parent. I totally disagree with the thought that if you spank them that they will associate that with now it is fine to go belt someone at school. My kids know that is totally unacceptable behavior. They are intellegent and they know the difference between a spanking and hauling off and belting someone.

Lina, I have to disagree with your statement that now your son views aggression as OK since you spank. My wife was a single mom to her two sons for many years and I know she was very lenient on them and now they are both nightmares, and my three boys are very well behaved and sweet and they got their butts beat many times.