F*ck My Fat!!

[AmDevil]

---------
15 mins after workout..
Feeling like a fatty bag, and hate myself..
So, here I am.. Just finished my leg, abs and cardio for today.. 90 minutes of caffeine/adrenaline work, and I wonder how long it will take to fix the damage I've done to myself over the years..

I think it was my brain's chemical imbalance after an intense workout, or maybe it's just me realizing how fucked up my body is.. The more I workout, and the more I change, the more I wonder how much *time* it will take "TO BE ME"...

I was checking my weight on the scale and looking at myself in the mirror to my left.. I weighed 226lb, where I was 242lb two months ago.. now, I have a circle of "peeking out" fat around my waist instead of the saggy fatty belly that was hanging down.. I grabbed all the fat on my belly, harshly squeezed it and pushed it back in.. looking at myself in the mirror.. I couldn't help looking at my eyes becoming red and tearful, I looked at a deformed person who's truly ASHAMED AND ANGRY at himself trying to hide a part of him,, wishing he could grab a knife and just take it all off..

I still have a 3 hour class, and maybe I'll hit the treadmill later at night.. I think my awareness of how deformed my body is is making me go nuts..

For a week now I've been restless, the only way I can feel better is to see myself in sports attire, with my iPod on and sweating at the gym..

I just felt like I had to share this, and sorry for the boring post.. This sort of stuff can't be told to anyone, but you guys.. I hope you understand..

 

[Hench]

Your on the right track bud, keep it going. It seems hard now but in 3-4 months you will be a different person if you stick with it.

With that being said, cardio is not a great way to lose weight, diet management is that part. How about you go post your daily calories and protein/fat/carbs in the diet and nutrition section and see if we can give you a hand.

 

[AmDevil]

Hey, thanks for the reply..

Looking back at the OP I wrote a couple hours ago, not so good!

My diet is perfect, I've lost at least 4-6 inches off my waist.. I can wear my linen beach pants which I bought 4 years ago, and they fit me loosely..

I'm okay, I really have started solo and been going solo.. only my close friends notice how much I workout and how very selective I am with my food choices.. Maybe that's why I needed to share this, so pardon me..

I'm doing good, but I just wish I could speed it up.. I want my belly fat to disappear and have totally no visible fat around me.. I have never been as angry/motivated/disgusted as I am right now..

I just want this class to finish, chug a bottle of redline and hit the treadmill..

You fit people are making me hate myself..

 

[Built]

Google "Lyle McDonald Rapid Fat Loss".

 

[vader]

you shouldn't hate yourself. We all have parts of our body that we are not happy with or else we wouldn't try so hard. Keep it up and don't compare yourself to others.

 

[HialeahChico305]

---------
15 mins after workout..
Feeling like a fatty bag, and hate myself..
So, here I am.. Just finished my leg, abs and cardio for today.. 90 minutes of caffeine/adrenaline work, and I wonder how long it will take to fix the damage I've done to myself over the years..

I think it was my brain's chemical imbalance after an intense workout, or maybe it's just me realizing how fucked up my body is.. The more I workout, and the more I change, the more I wonder how much *time* it will take "TO BE ME"...

I was checking my weight on the scale and looking at myself in the mirror to my left.. I weighed 226lb, where I was 242lb two months ago.. now, I have a circle of "peeking out" fat around my waist instead of the saggy fatty belly that was hanging down.. I grabbed all the fat on my belly, harshly squeezed it and pushed it back in.. looking at myself in the mirror.. I couldn't help looking at my eyes becoming red and tearful, I looked at a deformed person who's truly ASHAMED AND ANGRY at himself trying to hide a part of him,, wishing he could grab a knife and just take it all off..

I still have a 3 hour class, and maybe I'll hit the treadmill later at night.. I think my awareness of how deformed my body is is making me go nuts..

For a week now I've been restless, the only way I can feel better is to see myself in sports attire, with my iPod on and sweating at the gym..

I just felt like I had to share this, and sorry for the boring post.. This sort of stuff can't be told to anyone, but you guys.. I hope you understand..

Your motivated which is good, I never been fat so I really don't know how you feel but I quite understand your frustration because I hated been skinny when I was a teen, and it really fueled a fire in me to work out and achieve a physique that I felt good about. Its all about motivation and you have it, keep doing what your doing and don't let nobody stop you.

 

[T_man]

I think most people here had/have something about themselves that they really don't like but we're all working to achieve our goal just like you

I used to be really skinny, and although have been told countless times i'm good lookin, I never got any girls till I started weights. I just needed a normal body but now it's become a habit and I wan't an excellent body to make up for the years of being a skinny ass bastard.

And also I want to get rid of these bones sticking out of my shoulder. I know many people have them but I've never seen anyone with them anywhere near mine. I've been lifting for a year and a half now and have gotten great gains but you can still see the "pikes" through most of my shirts. And the truth is I'll never really be able to get rid of them because the delts only grow to its base. It also raises my front and side delts above the level of my rear, so it looks like there's a really bad slope at the back of my shoulder because of the difference in height. There's nothing I can do about it but when I look in the mirror now I feel like I have achieved alot and despite having those ugly things in my shoulder, they are less visible and I love my physique now. It's not perfect, but I love it & am working on it.

I hope this provides some sort of motivation for you. Right now you're on a journey and only really judge yourself when you've reached your destination.

 

[Gazhole]

Mate, you have absolutely no reason to apologise. Everybody feels this way at some point in their lives. The difference between you and the rest is that you're doing something about it rather than being paralysed by self pity.

THOSE are the people who deserve to hate themselves, not you. You've identified you need to change, you've worked out how to go about it, and now you're doing it. You can't ask anymore of yourself, you just have to wait.

Like somebody else said, in 3-4 months you'll be laughing at these feelings because you'll feel great.

That said, theres always work to be done so if you feel you're not progressing as well as you might, stop in and take a look at the nutrition and training sections.

Good luck!

 

[maniclion]

And the truth is I'll never really be able to get rid of them because the delts only grow to its base. It also raises my front and side delts above the level of my rear, so it looks like there's a really bad slope at the back of my shoulder because of the difference in height.

Shrugs, Shrugs and rows, especially dumb bell work with one leg and arm on the bench and you take the weight all the way down and then back up, I was super scrawny and then I did lots of that work and my Traps exploded like the Himalayas. People would ask me if I did mixed martial arts cause I looked like Chuck Liddel with traps up to my ears.... Don't forget neck work either, I started with just the towel around the back of the head against my own strength, you're working your upper trap fibers in push and pull.....

 

[highpockets]

Hang in there man and keep work'in it. I've 'been there, done that' as the saying goes. I've found that this forum is a great help and can keep you motivated. It's a funny thing about forums, even though I've never met any of the people here face to face, I feel like I know some of them.

My weight has fluctuated quite a bit over the past 16 years, but since finding this forum and getting really serious, like you have done, great things are happening. Seriously, not a week goes by that someone doesn't tell me how big, cut, fit, etc.. I'm looking. Once you start getting the compliments the motivation just continues to ramp up!

Stick with it and never, never apologize, just keep getting after it!

 

[Burner02]

Hey bro-
Don't be hard on yourself. Dude...16lbs in 2 months? AWESOME! keep it up! You're doing alot better than I in the weight loss department! You've dropped that much already...just keep it up and you'll be at your target weight in now time.
Remember: It took a LONG time to get to where you were...it won't take as long to take it back off, but it is coming off.
Every day you get closer to your goals.

I just read a good quote today and I'm gonna put it in my sig:
People only change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change

Keep pushing, bro- One day at a time.

 

[T_man]

Shrugs, Shrugs and rows, especially dumb bell work with one leg and arm on the bench and you take the weight all the way down and then back up, I was super scrawny and then I did lots of that work and my Traps exploded like the Himalayas. People would ask me if I did mixed martial arts cause I looked like Chuck Liddel with traps up to my ears.... Don't forget neck work either, I started with just the towel around the back of the head against my own strength, you're working your upper trap fibers in push and pull.....

Yes I do shrugs and rows without fail because of these hideous things on my shoulders

But the thing is the traps dont grow past them, they only grow to one side of them. And the bone is sticking out of the top of the shoulders, so the muscle only goes up to the BASE of the bastards!!

But hell yea they're becoming less visible because of trap work but they'll always be noticable. I'm not complaining because for every "curse" you have a "blessing" and I've recognised my blessings elsewhere. I look at it as a blessing sometimes even because they got me into BB and I've never had a better stage of life because guys respect me more than ever and girls dig my muscles. I don't mean to sound bigheaded but many of you will understand that life-changing transformation.

Whats more I can actually put up a good fight nowadays

 

[ironman4]

You're making good progress. Just think of the end result!

 

[anotherposter]

you shouldn't hate yourself. We all have parts of our body that we are not happy with or else we wouldn't try so hard. Keep it up and don't compare yourself to others.

You are absolutely true!

Everyone has this or that here and there...some have hidden while some have visible. But that doesn't mean we start hating ourselves. That kind of feeling makes us feel jealous of our own.

So simply cheer up!

 

[Hoglander]

The title really had me thinking there was some really odd sex video here.


Anyhow, you sound very determined and motivated. You'll get there.

 

[lola1182]

just keep positive!!

 

[T_man]

The title really had me thinking there was some really odd sex video here.


Anyhow, you sound very determined and motivated. You'll get there.

you're worse than a teenager

 

[Marat]

Now that you got all of that off your chest, how are you feeling now?