feel like I waste part of my life

[heckler7]

I invested a good part of my life raising a child that wasnt mine, since she was 8. Her mother and I split after 5 years but I continued to care for her and she spent every holiday with me Christmas thanksgiving easter and most the summer. I dont think I could tell the whole story in a post but I gave her 2 cars and paid cash for college tuition, while her own family did absolutelty nothing for her and her real father never spent a minute with her.
anyway she got hooked on drugs and was snorting shit, her mom calls me and is tripping balls doesnt know what to do. I took her in when her own family wouldnt, I got drug screens thru private med labs and tested randomly each month and got her clean but she was so difficult she almost cost me my marriage to the point my wife packed up my 2 kids and was moving out, so I had to kick her out.
So I asked her mom how shes doing which pisses my wife off, but I still worry about her, she going into the navy and I hope that works out for her she needs discipline.
just saying, this person put me thru a lot and all I get in return is to worry about someone I will most likely never see again.

 

[SheriV]

I took in a girl that had been badly sexually abused since before puberty by her step father- who happens to be my ex husband


her mother sided with her dirt bag husband- they both eventually went to prison

anyway- her actual father might be a complete douchebag too because he didnt take her in either

we spent a LOT of time and money on her but only over a period of two years

her mother got out of prison and sucked her right back in
now she has a baby of her own. the father of the baby has a tear drop tattoo on his face - some loser ginger sous chef
we both worry about her a lot

 

[heckler7]

I took in a girl that had been badly sexually abused since before puberty by her step father- who happens to be my ex husband


her mother sided with her dirt bag husband- they both eventually went to prison

anyway- her actual father might be a complete douchebag too because he didnt take her in either

we spent a LOT of time and money on her but only over a period of two years

her mother got out of prison and sucked her right back in
now she has a baby of her own. the father of the baby has a tear drop tattoo on his face - some loser ginger sous chef
we both worry about her a lot

geezus, so you know exactly what I mean, for 10 years I loved this kid as my own, its disappointing to see how little thats appreciated, I still hope she gets her shit together. Her mom says she is still clean, she just turned into a real peice of shit, and I tell myself shes not the little girl I knew, shes an adult now and responsible for her own choices, its just wait weight that I carry around

 

[TripleOvertime]

Let's all hope that the Navy straightens her ass out and she can someday truly appreciate all that you have done for her.

I commend you for giving her your all in hopes of her having a good life. that's a true man IMO.

 

[SheriV]

I heavily discouraged the girl in our case from enlisting in the air force- it turned out she just really wanted to work on planes so I pushed her towards aerospace engineering- she has an aptitude for math and thermodynamics as it turned out..


my reason for discouraging her from the air force was that as a prior rape victim statistically she stood a very good chance of being raped again
she had some very patriarchal ideas in her head that were frightening in the aspect that I think in the wrong environment she'd excuse any future abuse as love or in some other form deserved.

she really broke my heart because shes cute funny and reasonably intelligent just so so fucked up by whats shes endured


I kinda wish I had just waved goodbye to her at MEPS now


I worry she'll unwittingly pass along the idea that a woman needs a man under any circumstances to her new daughter
she won't go anywhere herself in life now- I just hope she can be a good mother


she is a very patient girl and loved my little girls to death- so idk
I think it can go either way



my one hope is that because she still defiantly reaches out to me..in spite of her mother who hates me..for I guess taking care of her kid when she threw her away like trash...my hope is that there's still an independent spark in there that I tried to instill





on the other side of the coin- one of my husbands daughters is a meth addict- we've tried to help her long distance so much
but like- we wont give her money but we'll pay for something directly, we won't listen to her insane stories but when shes calm she can tell us anything..

but I'm ready to wash my hands of her- the drugs I wont try too hard to help someone with are crack, meth and heroin (or script opioids) they're bigger than anything I can do for someone and just absolutely everywhere

 

[heckler7]

Let's all hope that the Navy straightens her ass out and she can someday truly appreciate all that you have done for her.

I commend you for giving her your all in hopes of her having a good life. that's a true man IMO.

thanks man, I think the navy will be good, if you dont obey seniors there are real consequences I think she'll learn real fast that to listen

 

[theCaptn']

I invested a good part of my life raising a child that wasnt mine, since she was 8. Her mother and I split after 5 years but I continued to care for her and she spent every holiday with me Christmas thanksgiving easter and most the summer. I dont think I could tell the whole story in a post but I gave her 2 cars and paid cash for college tuition, while her own family did absolutelty nothing for her and her real father never spent a minute with her.
anyway she got hooked on drugs and was snorting shit, her mom calls me and is tripping balls doesnt know what to do. I took her in when her own family wouldnt, I got drug screens thru private med labs and tested randomly each month and got her clean but she was so difficult she almost cost me my marriage to the point my wife packed up my 2 kids and was moving out, so I had to kick her out.
So I asked her mom how shes doing which pisses my wife off, but I still worry about her, she going into the navy and I hope that works out for her she needs discipline.
just saying, this person put me thru a lot and all I get in return is to worry about someone I will most likely never see again.

First of all, your were her dad. She is yours, you took responsibility for her, loved and cared for her, raised her. Not being the biological father makes it that more special.

Second of all, your kid going off the rails is any decent parents greatest fear. You gave her all the help you could, but end of the day she continued to make bad choices. It is likely she will continue to make bad choices, or maybe the navy will sort her out.

Bro, make peace with yourself. You sound like a superstar parent, don't wear the guilt.

This goes for you too Sheri




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[heckler7]

I heavily discouraged the girl in our case from enlisting in the air force- it turned out she just really wanted to work on planes so I pushed her towards aerospace engineering- she has an aptitude for math and thermodynamics as it turned out..


my reason for discouraging her from the air force was that as a prior rape victim statistically she stood a very good chance of being raped again
she had some very patriarchal ideas in her head that were frightening in the aspect that I think in the wrong environment she'd excuse any future abuse as love or in some other form deserved.

she really broke my heart because shes cute funny and reasonably intelligent just so so fucked up by whats shes endured


I kinda wish I had just waved goodbye to her at MEPS now


I worry she'll unwittingly pass along the idea that a woman needs a man under any circumstances to her new daughter
she won't go anywhere herself in life now- I just hope she can be a good mother


she is a very patient girl and loved my little girls to death- so idk
I think it can go either way



my one hope is that because she still defiantly reaches out to me..in spite of her mother who hates me..for I guess taking care of her kid when she threw her away like trash...my hope is that there's still an independent spark in there that I tried to instill





on the other side of the coin- one of my husbands daughters is a meth addict- we've tried to help her long distance so much
but like- we wont give her money but we'll pay for something directly, we won't listen to her insane stories but when shes calm she can tell us anything..

but I'm ready to wash my hands of her- the drugs I wont try too hard to help someone with are crack, meth and heroin (or script opioids) they're bigger than anything I can do for someone and just absolutely everywhere

everyone has their own parenting method and its usually based on how they were raised, the old it worked for me argument, pretty lazy thinking

 

[SheriV]

First of all, your were her dad. She is yours, you took responsibility for her, loved and cared for her, raised her. Not being the biological father makes it that more special.

Second of all, your kid going off the rails is any decent parents greatest fear. You gave her all the help you could, but end of the day she continued to make bad choices. It is likely she will continue to make bad choices, or maybe the navy will sort her out.

Bro, make peace with yourself. You sound like a superstar parent, don't wear the guilt.

This goes for you too Sheri




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this is very well put- I'd agree with this
I just articulate things poorly unless I can relate them somehow to my own experience

 

[heckler7]

First of all, your were her dad. She is yours, you took responsibility for her, loved and cared for her, raised her. Not being the biological father makes it that more special.

Second of all, your kid going off the rails is any decent parents greatest fear. You gave her all the help you could, but end of the day she continued to make bad choices. It is likely she will continue to make bad choices, or maybe the navy will sort her out.

Bro, make peace with yourself. You sound like a superstar parent, don't wear the guilt.

This goes for you too Sheri




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my guilt is I gave her my word I would never quit on her, but I told her if she fucked up I'll thro her out. it wasnt until my wife told me its her or my family that I thru her out. I wasnt ready to quit on her I had no choice. just saying this is the bullshit that sometimes rolls around in my head. I'm not upset at my wife either, she endured more than she needed to, but it took along time for us to fix our marriage. just saying that years of involvement feels like all I get out of it is a weight on my chest

 

[heckler7]

First of all, your were her dad. She is yours, you took responsibility for her, loved and cared for her, raised her. Not being the biological father makes it that more special.

Second of all, your kid going off the rails is any decent parents greatest fear. You gave her all the help you could, but end of the day she continued to make bad choices. It is likely she will continue to make bad choices, or maybe the navy will sort her out.

Bro, make peace with yourself. You sound like a superstar parent, don't wear the guilt.

This goes for you too Sheri




Sent from my jewPhone using TrannyTalk Pro

thanks bro, I'm not over here feeling sorry for myself, shes taking a big leap again and I'm hoping she makes it, just this time she doesnt get to hear me say it. feels like shes gone forever and my only goodbye was kicking her to the curb and thats just life I guess, we all have our shit we carry around

 

[theCaptn']

thanks bro, I'm not over here feeling sorry for myself, shes taking a big leap again and I'm hoping she makes it, just this time she doesnt get to hear me say it. feels like shes gone forever and my only goodbye was kicking her to the curb and thats just life I guess, we all have our shit we carry around

Yeah man I'm hearing you. The mother of my kids is a meth addict and emotionally, and in the case of my son, physically abused him.

There's a good chance at some point in life he's going to go off the rails, all the signs are there.

But me and the mrs are raising them old school, values, hard work, giving them life skills to cope in this world.

End of the day it's going to come down to their choices. I'll help them out, but there's a limit to that. Me and the (new) wife have our lives to live too.

Anywho. Life can be pretty cunty sometimes


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[heckler7]

Yeah man I'm hearing you. The mother of my kids is a meth addict and emotionally, and in the case of my son, physically abused him.

There's a good chance at some point in life he's going to go off the rails, all the signs are there.

But me and the mrs are raising them old school, values, hard work, giving them life skills to cope in this world.

End of the day it's going to come down to their choices. I'll help them out, but there's a limit to that. Me and the (new) wife have our lives to live too.

Anywho. Life can be pretty cunty sometimes


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I remember you telling us this shit, sometimes you just wanna grab people by the throat and shake the shit out of them. to bad you dont live closer, I'd come over with a bottle of Jack Daniels and we could talk about all the times we were on tren and people had no idea how close they were to death

 

[charley]

geezus, so you know exactly what I mean, for 10 years I loved this kid as my own, its disappointing to see how little thats appreciated, I still hope she gets her shit together. Her mom says she is still clean, she just turned into a real peice of shit, and I tell myself shes not the little girl I knew, shes an adult now and responsible for her own choices, its just wait weight that I carry around

.. you guys are killing me, such a thankless task you perform, trying to guide & support kids while you bring up your primary family...you're doing the right thing ,& I believe some day it will come back in a positive way.. the drug thing is a nite mare for sure. sex abuse is worse... I see it in my family also...all you guys seem to be smart enough not to blame the kids for their tortured pasts...you are coping when many would run.... it's great to hear you guys are real .. thx

 

[CG]

Jesus fucking Christ. I like both of you as is, now you gotta peel back the cover and show how you're really decent people? Fuck. Bless you guys, seriously.

As a kid I had a family friend take me in, as my mother couldn't keep her shit together, and the rest of my family was so far away and 15 year old me didn't wanna relocate. Long story short, it went from being cool, to being ok, to them challenging my family for child support and pocketing most of it for "prior expenses" and "cost of living". Eventually at 18 they booted me out while I was looking at a college accusing me of lying to them and hanging out with my own mother. Their piece of shit kid pissed in all my shoes, they fried my computer and shredded a bunch of my shit. Sadly for every one like you two there's just as many pieces of shit out there.

 

[SheriV]

that's fucking horrible- why would anyone do something like that to a kid- insane

 

[Zaphod]

I invested a good part of my life raising a child that wasnt mine, since she was 8. Her mother and I split after 5 years but I continued to care for her and she spent every holiday with me Christmas thanksgiving easter and most the summer. I dont think I could tell the whole story in a post but I gave her 2 cars and paid cash for college tuition, while her own family did absolutelty nothing for her and her real father never spent a minute with her.
anyway she got hooked on drugs and was snorting shit, her mom calls me and is tripping balls doesnt know what to do. I took her in when her own family wouldnt, I got drug screens thru private med labs and tested randomly each month and got her clean but she was so difficult she almost cost me my marriage to the point my wife packed up my 2 kids and was moving out, so I had to kick her out.
So I asked her mom how shes doing which pisses my wife off, but I still worry about her, she going into the navy and I hope that works out for her she needs discipline.
just saying, this person put me thru a lot and all I get in return is to worry about someone I will most likely never see again.

You didn't waste part of your life. You did your best to raise and help her when she needed it. Some hiccups along the way but she's still alive and looking at going into the Navy. Her life is far from over and only time will tell if she will keep in contact with you. If she doesn't you still didn't waste part of your life. How much joy and pride has she brought you?

 

[bigsean320]

Look I feel for you bro, I had a bad drug problem after I got hurt in the gym, oxycotin just came out well it got bad but, I went to the Navy, they have a zero tolorence policy, she will call u cuz in her eyes you are her father, trust me nobody helped me an I still called my dad who just hung up, then I was deployed over seas did two tours and I'm clean an I juice up like I did before but she will contact you in her time but still let her know your there for her!

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[heckler7]

Look I feel for you bro, I had a bad drug problem after I got hurt in the gym, oxycotin just came out well it got bad but, I went to the Navy, they have a zero tolorence policy, she will call u cuz in her eyes you are her father, trust me nobody helped me an I still called my dad who just hung up, then I was deployed over seas did two tours and I'm clean an I juice up like I did before but she will contact you in her time but still let her know your there for her!

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I hope so. Having an injury and getting addicted is a little different than than being a teenager and getting hooked on snort with your subway co-workers. just saying. lame you for a bad mistake just a bad situation