Aunt Shamika's Nig-o-riffic Motherfucking Dixie Dumpster Rat Food Delight
This hot-weather treat is a favorite of single "working" mammies throughout the projects.
For this old-ass fambly repspy, yo' nigger ass is gonna need:
1 shitload crack
1 whiny ass niglet, 0-60 mumfs ol'
1 broken goddamn toilet, full
- attitude
Prep:
Into a clean unheated pipe put one rock crack. Apply butane flame at 2800 degrees until rock begins to vaporize. Inhale, exhale, repeat until all crack is gone. Shee-it! Coming down from your crack jag the next day, notice that that little crying bitch niglet done sumpin really stupid again, like shit on your stolen X-Box. In a hot minute decide it's time to fix that little crying pussy's hash for real. With a closed fist strike the malnourished, dehydrated niglet's "face" and nappy haid until it shut the fuck up. Firmly grasp the lifeless niglet by any clean part and convey to the clogged toilet that the honky bastard bitch landlord aint done fixed since who know when, so he can juss kiss mah nigger ass. (Optionally ax de lawd, WHEN dis o-pression gonna END!) Immerse niglet in toilet--unnastan' dis, HEAD DOWN, bitch--and leave to cure. With pounding headache, carefully clean stolen X-Box and take to K-Mart for fraudulent refund; spend refund immediately on more crack. Get around to finishing niglet later.
Serve:
Hunch over toilet and git summa dat ripe jenkem buzz, mmm. When yo nigger ass be trippin fo' real, remove cured niglet from toilet. Drag outside if baffroom window won't open. Arrange niglet in dumpster or mailbox, or leave on pavement.
Serves countless rats and solves one big ass problem.