ty and hi jenny
truth is i do have more testosterone than the avg woman
(greeks arent known to be horny and hairy for nothin! thank God my hair is blonde

)
reposting this from open chat:
increase in size a few days after working bodypart = pump
increase in size which remains after pump goes down, which shrinks down some after not working that bodypart for a few weeks = muscle mass
correct??? because it is not the instant increase in size that bothers me, that shrinks down
what bothers me is the size that remains! my muscles seriously grow visibly in one workout and only after a month might they start to look "ok" again
I reiterate this because I'm not just being a paranoid yet uninformed girly girl. I put on muscle way too easy, to the point where if i am not careful, i start to look manly (as in the past)
This is very annoying, and I am wondering if going on birth control pills may actually make me more like the average woman, who can lift heavy and not see big gains..
I do know that muscle looks better and helps you maintain leanness, however with my big frame and large amount of pre-existing muscle mass, I REALLY DONT want to add more muscle mass.
Yesterday:
I know it was decent, I dont really remember except that I ate too many peanuts again, and 1 strawberry lol
ut oh and coffee w milk!
Today:
No workout, didnt sleep much
3/4c oats 6 whites (more oatmeal!!!

)
peanuts! (GEEZ!) 7 strawberries!
spinach salad w grilled chicken and oil packed sun dried tomatos, honey mustard on the side
coffee w milk (God how ive missed it, going to try carbcountdown)
protein shake w 1 large tbsp pb
lamb and grilled chicken, salad, peanuts
havent had it yet..will either be a protein shake w pb or egg whites with pb
I swear, I'm getting frustrated cuz I look blah!
Eating more has me very bloated and all that, and I want to eat nonstop now, I *HOPE* this means I just kickstarted my metabolism lol, I get ravenous during pms and my period, and I am pretty sure your metab is slightly elevated then, so I hope this is the same.
I am really starting to get lazy in regards to cardio!
I want my diet to really carry me and get me lean, which is why not knowing what to eat/do is frustrating the hell out of me
When will i see some Goddamn results?!?!?!?!
In october I did TWO weeks of no carb and I got much leaner!
Now I cant seem to even make progress and I am still fatter than I was then!

At least getting back to that point would help fuel my motivation, heck even seeing a little positive change would motivate me!
I feel so hopeless going in circles!
