How to deal with jealousy?

[dantbfan713]

You're the same guy who won't go down on his girl cause it tastes nasty. That would explain why she's looking at other options...

I knew that would get brought up

But i dont think thats the case....

 

[Jodi]

Everytime I read one of your post I don't know whether to cry or laugh. Your views on men are completely unfounded. Theirs obviously something going on with you ( maybe past experiences ) that we don't know about. For you to say that a man just because he has control and jealousy issues he'll become a wife-beater is redeculous. You're acting like he's a ticking time bomb. He's just your average man with no out of the ordinary feelings. I don't think this is really a subject that a woman can understand ( no offense to you. ).

Didnt I warn you that you were never to speak of my personal life?

I have a great life and nothing is going on with me. I am in a very healthy and happy relationship. It is the rest of you that have issues. The way you treat women is fucking disgusting! You dont think I can understand this? You are but a mere child, it is you that does not understand.

 

[joesmooth20]

dude, your not going to end up marrying the first chick you've ever banged! Also from your previous posts she has a stank crotch, that's just gross and could be from random sex and infections. All I can say is start being more of a alpha male type of guy and you won't have some hussy walking all over you. The phone shit and myspace shit will never stop with her, she's young and obviously doesn't respect you. Cash in your chips pal and move on. Maybe work on putting the anger into the gym instead of letting it get the best of you.

If you make things clear from the get go in your next relationship, you won't need any help. There's certain things that are ok and not ok, it's not just a jealousy thing it's more of a respect for each other. If she knows this stuff makes you mad and still continous to do it, well that shows you right there that she doesn't care about your feelings and knows that she can do it because your a pushover in her eyes.

Every guy I've ever met has had shit like this happen to them atleast once. This is your once man, don't let it repeat itself.

 

[Jodi]

You're the same guy who won't go down on his girl cause it tastes nasty. That would explain why she's looking at other options...

 

[JOHNYORK]

dude, your not going to end up marrying the first chick you've ever banged! Also from your previous posts she has a stank crotch, that's just gross and could be from random sex and infections. All I can say is start being more of a alpha male type of guy and you won't have some hussy walking all over you. The phone shit and myspace shit will never stop with her, she's young and obviously doesn't respect you. Cash in your chips pal and move on. Maybe work on putting the anger into the gym instead of letting it get the best of you.

If you make things clear from the get go in your next relationship, you won't need any help. There's certain things that are ok and not ok, it's not just a jealousy thing it's more of a respect for each other. If she knows this stuff makes you mad and still continous to do it, well that shows you right there that she doesn't care about your feelings and knows that she can do it because your a pushover in her eyes.

Every guy I've ever met has had shit like this happen to them atleast once. This is your once man, don't let it repeat itself.

agreed

 

[JordanMang]

Didnt I warn you that you were never to speak of my personal life?

I have a great life and nothing is going on with me. I am in a very healthy and happy relationship. It is the rest of you that have issues. The way you treat women is fucking disgusting! You dont think I can understand this? You are but a mere child, it is you that does not understand.

I'm not a child. Infact I'd go so far as to say that I know more about this subject ( and serveral others ) then you do. You can't accept because I'm a young that I might know more then you. It's a typical sort of thing that I get a lot; so I'm not offended. I'll take it as a compliment. It kind of speaks volumes though when older members agree with me on most of the points I make.

 

[Jodi]

Yeah who are all a bunch of kids like you and or men. Props to you

It's quite clear that you don't know as much as you think you do.

 

[GFR]

I'm not a child. Infact I'd go so far as to say that I know more about this subject ( and serveral others ) then you do. You can't accept because I'm a young that I might know more then you. It's a typical sort of thing that I get a lot; so I'm not offended. I'll take it as a compliment. It kind of speaks volumes though when older members agree with me on most of the points I make.

Son, Jodi has forgot more than you will ever know

 

[clemson357]

Jodi, you really seem like you have some issues with men. Compared to what goes on in a lot of relationships, checking someone's phone or myspace is not that bad. I would hardly say that "the way he treats women is fucking disgusting."

I read somewhere that the difference between cheating men and cheating women was that while men cheat more often, they do feel guilt, while women feel entitled to their extramarital affair. Perhaps you have an issue with someone checking your phone because you feel you are entitled to do whatever you want. But ask yourself one question, does that work both ways in your relationship? If you knew your man had a history decieving you, you wouldn't ever try to check up on him?

You have already said that you wouldn't want to be asked about your sex history, and the thought of your man checking your phone obviously infuriates you. Is he allowed to even ask you where you have been? If you say you are going out, is he allowed to ask who you are going with? If you are sitting on the couch, talking on the phone, is he allowed to ask who you are talking to? It just seems to me you are hyper-sensative about it.

 

[Jodi]

Jodi, you really seem like you have some issues with men. Compared to what goes on in a lot of relationships, checking someone's phone or myspace is not that bad. I would hardly say that "the way he treats women is fucking disgusting."

Nope, I have no issues with men. I just think that if a relationship isn't based off of trust and love than what is the point of a relationship. If you have to check someones belongings, or question them, check their phone log or myspace account, then you obviously don't trust them and you shouldn't be with them.

I read somewhere that the difference between cheating men and cheating women was that while men cheat more often, they do feel guilt, while women feel entitled to their extramarital affair. Perhaps you have an issue with someone checking your phone because you feel you are entitled to do whatever you want. But ask yourself one question, does that work both ways in your relationship? If you knew your man had a history decieving you, you wouldn't ever try to check up on him?

I am entitled to do what I want but within reason. Dante is fully aware of my friendship with other men, he knows I go out with them too and he will never have any reason to doubt me and I am the same with him. I don't question him and he has no reason to have to explain himself to me, he can do what he wants.....of course this all goes within reason and keeping a good trusting and healthy relationship.

He can ask me whatever he wants but how someone is being asked is what makes the difference.

I wouldn't ever be with a man who has a history of deceiving me or anyone else for that matter. I won't be with them. Trust is number one and if I can't trust them, then I don't want to be with them.

 

[Trouble]

Jesu, why I never like to come into the chat room.

Like Foreman said, Jodi has her act together. She has a healthy respect for men and doesn't tolerate this alpha male bullshit.

You alpha fuckchops had better learn that in order for a relationship to be get past the fuck me for fun and profit stage (lust), you must have respect, trust and honor the for the word and actions of the person you regard as your significant other, whether they are man or woman. Without it, you have nothing to keep you together when the going gets tough. And it does, in everyones life. No glue, its a house of cards just waiting to come down on your head.

Dan, you broke rules of respect by violating her privacy. If she gets a call from the old boyfriend, or from a classmate from her past, you have to trust her that she is not going to fuck him. Just as she has to trust that when she is not with you, you are to screwing some girl who you may find attactive.

What you have are self-esteem issues, and I'll bet my nickel that its coupled to respect issues for women, that arise from your past, potentially from role model influences (your parents most likely, but also peers as well).

Either you find a counselor to help you deal with these issues (alone or with your gf), or you let this girl go. Someone said she should run far away from you; I would tell her to put your at arms length until you can find the balls to get your kester into counseling. If you have anger issues, it can and may well erupt into violence some day if these feelings of mistrust and control aren't addressed, and soon.

If you feel that she is being unfair, then bring it up with her, in front of the counselor and see that the counselor advises. I think you'll find that if you tend to this problem on your side of the fence, that life will be a lot less stressful.

Be thankful that this girl relates well to men; it has a lot to do with why you are with her. Chances are, she'll be more understanding and tolerant than a woman (or girl) who relates poorly to men.

Jordan, you are a kid and have a kids experience with the opposite sex. Keep your face out of this one. I'm likely to push your face into the crap you spew, and you're not going to like it. You're just like Dan, you got this little testosterone fueled song and dance going to prove yourself because of shitty self esteem. Could be an age thing, but it smacks of parody of your addled elders here you think the caveman routine will fly these days.

 

[PreMier]

You are jealous but she has given you reason for it too.

I think you both are too young to be in a serious relationship. If I was you, I would quit caring what she does. She is going to do what she wants to do. You can't change that... let her do it and choose not to care. Of course, if she is doing what she wants to do, this means you can do what you want to do to. Let her talk to ex-boyfriends and go for lunch with other guys. Who cares... you should do the same.

Go out, have fun, date a bunch of women and don't get exclusive or serious with any of them. Experience life and a bunch of girls. Just date a bunch of them. Don't give them the impression that you are in a 'relationship' or that you are looking for a relationship.

She is obviously young and interested in exploring other guys. This is normal at that age. It is just what girls do. Don't expect young girls to settle down and be all serious... it just doesn't work long term. Eventually it will come to an end and she will have to go through her stage. The same goes for you. You should not be trying to settle down with one girls at your age.

You broke up with her for talking to an ex-boyfriend late at night. Fine you know that she is like that and that is what she does. You have caught her on a couple things. I can gaurantee she got away with more things that you didn't catch. After breaking up for this, you will never trust her again.... so don't have a serious relationship with her. It's ridiculous. Sure keep her as a booty call or go out with her and have fun but don't ever assume she is being exclusive with you. And you don't have to be exclusive with her. Don't ask what she does when not with you, don't try and find out... just choose not to care and have fun when you can - you're not going to marry this girl or anything.

And never, ever get serious with a girl that has a MySpace page...

This is so true IMO. Myspace is the new "hookup" site. I was reading in a magazine that this is the first year since 2000 that dating sites have lost money. Why? because myspace is free. I hate myspace

Ok rant over.

To the original poster, you need to figure out if this girl is the one you want to be with. Is she your first girlfriend(sexually)? Are you hers? And why are you guys going out without each other? When I was with my X, the deal was no going to the bar without one another.. but we also lived together so thats another story.

 

[SportinStyle]

Just from random viewings - not on a day to day basis - I do find it laughable how Jodi does tend to mock men on this forum (the Sexual that is). She targets their shortcomings (No Pun Intented), their age, and seems to honestly believe she is God, reincarnated in some sort of warrior/amazon woman body. Just because you could probably take me, doesn't mean that your opinions are always right. There is no discussion going on here, just you trying to approve and bolster your womanistic views.

You, being a "Super Moderator", should know very well that is not the correct way to run and contribute to a social forum, such as this. These men and women don't come on here and essentially promote your site, to hear about your personal life and obvious struggle to cope with this strange sense; That for once, maybe a man is admiting that he's weak and asking for a helping hand.

 

[Jodi]

Amazon Warrior body

Yeah I'm so huge and masculine it's just disgusting

I have a women with a strong opinion. You seem to feel threated by this. Too bad, it's my opinion and I will express my opinion where and when I choose.

Why is it that the men can have an opinion but as soon as a women speaks up she get's flamed left and right? Typical male dominance bullshit which means fuck all to me......

 

[min0 lee]

Amazon Warrior body

Yeah I'm so huge and masculine it's just disgusting

I have a women with a strong opinion. You seem to feel threated by this. Too bad, it's my opinion and I will express my opinion where and when I choose.

Why is it that the men can have an opinion but as soon as a women speaks up she get's flamed left and right? Typical male dominance bullshit which means fuck all to me......

I started a thread about that a while back. I really don't think some men like to hear a womans opinion.

 

[MyK]

I started a thread about that a while back. I really don't think some men like to hear a womans opinion.

shut it woman!

 

[JordanMang]

Amazon Warrior body

Yeah I'm so huge and masculine it's just disgusting

I have a women with a strong opinion. You seem to feel threated by this. Too bad, it's my opinion and I will express my opinion where and when I choose.

Why is it that the men can have an opinion but as soon as a women speaks up she get's flamed left and right? Typical male dominance bullshit which means fuck all to me......

Stop confusing fear with pity. No one is threatened by you; God your narcissistic views are only hurting yourself, and not us.

 

[SportinStyle]

I was simply stating you're quick to jump on this guy - who obviously needs help.

Woman for President!

 

[Jodi]

Stop confusing fear with pity. No one is threatened by you; God your narcissistic views are only hurting yourself, and not us.

I'm not trying to threaten anyone or be threatening. I have a point of view and I'm going to express and if you don't like hearing then don't read it and STFU.

Hurting me? No, that is not true as I have nothing to gain or lose from posting my opinion. I could care less what everyone thinks of me. I have my friends here and they are great friends. I have helped many many people on this forum and they appreciate the help I've provided.. Everyone here knows me and is use to my forwardness, openess and bluntness. Seeing you are always so quick to post on my opinions, then it is you whom I pity.

 

[Jodi]

Like Foreman said, Jodi has her act together. She has a healthy respect for men and doesn't tolerate this alpha male bullshit.

You alpha fuckchops had better learn that in order for a relationship to be get past the fuck me for fun and profit stage (lust), you must have respect, trust and honor the for the word and actions of the person you regard as your significant other, whether they are man or woman. Without it, you have nothing to keep you together when the going gets tough. And it does, in everyones life. No glue, its a house of cards just waiting to come down on your head.

You can say that again!

 

[JordanMang]

I'm not trying to threaten anyone or be threatening. I have a point of view and I'm going to express and if you don't like hearing then don't read it and STFU.

Hurting me? No, that is not true as I have nothing to gain or lose from posting my opinion. I could care less what everyone thinks of me. I have my friends here and they are great friends. I have helped many many people on this forum and they appreciate the help I've provided.. Everyone here knows me and is use to my forwardness, openess and bluntness. Seeing you are always so quick to post on my opinions, then it is you whom I pity.

I just think you have a lot of misconstrued views on men. Your morales I won't argue ( their better then mine ), but I think your experience is with a little bit older generation and so you have different views. I personally treat women with the utmost respect. I feel attacked when any woman on here calls me an "alpha fuckchop", but I won't judge. I've never cursed or used vulgar language towards anyone woman on these forums, and I've never said anything that might lead anyone to believe that I'm a woman-beater, alpha "fuckchop" or even disrespectful towards women. I also don't think anyone who doesn't personally know either of these people shouldn't offer an opinion on this matter. You have to know someone to make a lot of the judgements calls we've told this guy to make. Like I said before, it's a difference of opinion and age. I'm sorry for if I offended you.

 

[JordanMang]

Jordan, you are a kid and have a kids experience with the opposite sex. Keep your face out of this one. I'm likely to push your face into the crap you spew, and you're not going to like it. You're just like Dan, you got this little testosterone fueled song and dance going to prove yourself because of shitty self esteem. Could be an age thing, but it smacks of parody of your addled elders here you think the caveman routine will fly these days.

Stop playing the age card. It doesn't work. I could just as easily say "Well, since you're such and such age your views on women and relationship is out-dated." It's a difference of opinions. You're fishing for material against me, but it doesn't work. Age is a two-edged sword. If you want to get right down to it I could just say since we're closer to the same age I have more insight to the matter. I actually don't have any self-esteem problems. I'm completly comfortable with my self image ( physically and personality wise ).

 

[min0 lee]

I just think you have a lot of misconstrued views on men. Your morales I won't argue ( their better then mine ), but I think your experience is with a little bit older generation and so you have different views. I personally treat women with the utmost respect. I feel attacked when any woman on here calls me an "alpha fuckchop", but I won't judge. I've never cursed or used vulgar language towards anyone woman on these forums, and I've never said anything that might lead anyone to believe that I'm a woman-beater, alpha "fuckchop" or even disrespectful towards women. I also don't think anyone who doesn't personally know either of these people shouldn't offer an opinion on this matter. You have to know someone to make a lot of the judgements calls we've told this guy to make. Like I said before, it's a difference of opinion and age. I'm sorry for if I offended you.

You just showed your age, I said the same things when I was your age.
I knew it all, the old folks are just from the stone age.

Example: In my daughters class there a couple of boys who bother her and I tell her that they like her.....she say's no it's different now, we are different.

The problem I see is that young folks have just don't listen or understand.

But Jodi just came out of a shell and knows nothing.

 

[JordanMang]

You just showed your age, I said the same things when I was your age.
I knew it all, the old folks are just from the stone age.

Example: In my daughters class there a couple of boys who bother her and I tell her that they like her.....she say's no it's different now, we are different.

The problem I see is that young folks have just don't listen or understand.

But Jodi just came out of a shell and knows nothing.

Not at all. I'm not saying anyone's in the stone age. It's the same across the board. Everyone differs in opinion, and age is a apart of how you shape your ideas. I disagree with her. I have a differing opinion. She was the first one to bring up the idea that just because we're different ages ( I'm younger ) that she knows more or has more insight on the matter. You're preaching to the choir.

 

[Jodi]

She was the first one to bring up the idea that just because we're different ages ( I'm younger ) that she knows more or has more insight on the matter. You're preaching to the choir.

Yes, and it's true. I do know more than you on this subject. I've been dating longer than you have been on this earth, it is natural that I know more and have more insight on this matter than you do. Anyone older than you could say the same. Living, learning, experiences, etc....this is what you learn from. You don't learn by dating a couple of young girls. You are too young to have been through what most of the people on this forum have been through, so we speak from experience. So yes, we do know more and have more insight on this matter than you.

 

[JordanMang]

Yes, and it's true. I do know more than you on this subject. I've been dating longer than you have been on this earth, it is natural that I know more and have more insight on this matter than you do. Anyone older than you could say the same. Living, learning, experiences, etc....this is what you learn from. You don't learn by dating a couple of young girls. You are too young to have been through what most of the people on this forum have been through, so we speak from experience. So yes, we do know more and have more insight on this matter than you.

One of the more ignorant things I've seen you post. I never offered an opinion on what he should do. I'm not going to pretend I know what he should do. I've just said you saying that he's a wife-beater in the makings are rediculous. I realize I have limited insight on the matter. But, believe me when I say I know his feelings probably 10x better then you. You aren't a man. As much as you think you know about how men think and act; you'll never know as well as I do how we feel emotionally.

 

[Jodi]

First of all I didn't say he was a wife-beater. I said that if he doesn't seek help soon his patterns are that of a wife-beater and he is heading in that direction.

Second of all, I am not ignorant, I'm speaking matter of factly. I am older, I have more experience and have delt with similar issues. So therefore, yes I do feel that I an many others that are older on this board have more insight on this matter.

As far as men feeling emotionally? No I don't but that is not the point here. Jealousy is due to insecurity and that doesn't matter if you are a man or a women. Anger and rage lead to abuse, again, your man or woman, it's all the same.

 

[JordanMang]

First of all I didn't say he was a wife-beater. I said that if he doesn't seek help soon his patterns are that of a wife-beater and he is heading in that direction.

Second of all, I am not ignorant, I'm speaking matter of factly. I am older, I have more experience and have delt with similar issues. So therefore, yes I do feel that I an many others that are older on this board have more insight on this matter.

As far as men feeling emotionally? No I don't but that is not the point here. Jealousy is due to insecurity and that doesn't matter if you are a man or a women. Anger and rage lead to abuse, again, your man or woman, it's all the same.

Fine, whatever. Just another case of the blind leading the blind.

 

[Jodi]

Fine, that's your opinion but I can honestly say in this case, I am not blind.

 

[GFR]

Stop playing the age card. It doesn't work. I could just as easily say "Well, since you're such and such age your views on women and relationship is out-dated." It's a difference of opinions. You're fishing for material against me, but it doesn't work. Age is a two-edged sword. If you want to get right down to it I could just say since we're closer to the same age I have more insight to the matter. I actually don't have any self-esteem problems. I'm completly comfortable with my self image ( physically and personality wise ).

Son, people have been fucking since the dawn of time.....why would you think you know shit at 16? Many of us have been there and done that so shut up and listen for a change.