If you met a spammer in real life...

[KelJu]

what would you do to them?

I have fantasies about being in a bar, or pub and running into someone who says they send out mass emails for a living. I would knock out their entire front grill in one punch. Spammers are the scum of the internet.

 

[DOMS]

I don't really care about spammers, but if I ran into a spyware writer, I'd bash the shit out of his hands with a hammer.

 

[bio-chem]

I don't really care about spammers, but if I ran into a spyware writer, I'd bash the shit out of his hands with a hammer.

 

[maniclion]

I don't really care about spammers, but if I ran into a spyware writer, I'd bash the shit out of his hands with a hammer.

And then run their tenderized hands through a meat grinder, then cook up the ground meat, hold the person in a basement for a few days with no food and then slide a nice double cheese burger under their nose. Then after dinner show them a video of where that burger meat came from....

 

[min0 lee]

I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how to get rid of these Jehova witnesses from ringing my bell.

 

[NeilPearson]

I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how to get rid of these Jehova witnesses from ringing my bell.

That is easy... tell them to fuck off and die.

 

[iMan323]

I'd make them buy what they're selling

 

[bio-chem]

I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how to get rid of these Jehova witnesses from ringing my bell.

tell them your Mormon. it doesnt have to be true. (though it is for me), but they run like hell

 

[min0 lee]

tell them your Mormon. it doesnt have to be true. (though it is for me), but they run like hell

We also have them pestering us.

 

[bio-chem]

We also have them pestering us.

the only thing to do there is give in. resistence is futile

 

[BoneCrusher]

Heeeeyyyy how ya been? Remember me? Yeah ... you asked for a free MMA lesson at one of my friends houses the other week so I thought I'd stop by and give you what you've requested. This *immediately set a Muay Thai clinch and knee in his ribs 'til I see his breathing is fucked* is a Muay Thai clinch. This *sweep slam lock the arm grab the hand keeping thumb control as I bend the arm against the joints 'til bones snap* is an arm bar. This *transition to back mount and set double hooks then lock in under the chin and pull up and to the left until he taps or cries* is a neck-crank.

Thanks for requesting our free MMA demonstration. Now it's time for the free tazer demonstration you asked for ...

 

[BoneCrusher]

And then run their tenderized hands through a meat grinder, then cook up the ground meat, hold the person in a basement for a few days with no food and then slide a nice double cheese burger under their nose. Then after dinner show them a video of where that burger meat came from....

N~S~F~W

YouTube Video

​

 

[maniclion]

N~S~F~W

YouTube Video

​

I loved that book, I couldn't put it down for 3 days...

 

[TheGreatSatan]

How do you get a job as a spammer? That would be great!

 

[Hoglander]

I would like to bash their teeth down their throat. I find that to be the most noble goal in these situations.

 

[maniclion]

Shove a fat John H. butt plug up their ass and force feed them SPAM, the mystery meat....

 

[TheGreatSatan]

Shove a fat John H. butt plug up their ass and force feed them SPAM, the mystery meat....

The kind with the creamy white filling

 

[min0 lee]

I am a spammer, and I'm getting quite a kick from these replies.

 

[goob]

I am a spanner, and I'm getting quite a kick from these replies.

Fixed it for you....

From Urban dictionary:

1.Spanner

A person person who is a complete fucking muppet, or a retard.
You mate, are a complete fu'kin spanner. Youre one apple short of an orchard.



2.spanner

Someone who's a tool
You're such a bloody spanner



3.spanner

spastic; person of mental retardation, Down's Syndrome, etc.
"You're such a spanner!"

 

[min0 lee]

You hurt my feelings.

 

[fufu]

I'd ask him, "how is it...you know...making that canned pseudo-meat from 9-5."