Joke thread

[azza1971]

Silhua and Nohweliian were in the Vatican urinal, Noh looked down at Silhuas flacid penis and noticed a nicotine patch.

Noh said ???those are better on the arm if you wanna quit smoking???

Silhua says ???i know but its working, i am down to two butts a day"

 

[Watson]

There was a man who wanted a pure wife. So he started to attend church to find a woman. He met a gal who seemed nice so he took her home. When they got there, he whips out his manhood and asks "What's this?" She replies "A cock." He thinks to himself that she is not pure enough!



A couple of weeks later he meets another gal and soon takes her home. Again, he pulls out his manhood and asks the question. She replies "A cock". He is pissed because she seemed more pure than the first but oh well.

A couple of weeks later he meets a gal who seems real pure. She won't go home with him for a long time but eventually he gets her to his house. He whips it out and asks, "What is this?" She giggles and says "A pee-pee" He thinks to himself that he has finally found his woman.

They get married but after several months every time she sees his member she giggles and says "That's your pee-pee." He finally breaks down and says "Look this is not a pee-pee, it is a cock."

She laughs and says "No it's not, a cock is ten inches long and black"

 

[Watson]

This guy goes into a whorehouse and tells the mistress he wants to eat out a girl for the first
time. She sends him up and he meets this deadly blonde chick. She whips down her pants and he starts licking her twat. Minutes later he feels something in his mouth and spits out a corn niblet. Thinking this is normal, as he has never done it before continues eating her out. Minutes pass and he finds a piece of carrot in his mouth. Still thinking this is normal he continues. Soon after he finds a piece of meat and stands up. "Excuse me miss, but are you sick?" She looks at him and replies "No, but the last guy was!

 

[azza1971]

How is it a woman always complains about child birth hurting more than a guy getting kicked in the nuts?

A couple of years later the woman wants another baby, the men never say they want another kick in the nuts.