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K.i.s.s.

fufu said:
I think this is the pic Katt metioned.

274644998_45bf2715a3.jpg
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exactly the one Fu!
 
Stewart20 said:
eh, tits are over-rated....it's all about the ass, which in her case, I believe she has that covered quite well.
Click to expand...

:yes:

Size doesn't matter in my book.

For tits that is. Me loves a big ass. :D
 
I see
 
Feelin' Blue

Active Stretched

Warm ups..
Isometric Floor Bridges w/leg extension
Hyperextension

Standing OH Barbell Press
The bar for 2 sets of 8
65lbs for 6 reps
95lbs for 6 reps
135lbs for 4 sets, 6 reps (30 sec)

Wide & Close Grip Pull ups
BW for 4 sets, 6 reps (30 sec RI)

Alternating Hammer Strength High Row
1 plate + 25lbs on each side for 3 sets, 10 reps (30 sec RI)

Close Grip Bench Press
135lbs for 2 sets, 12 reps (30 sec RI)

Cardio..

Treadmill for 10 min. I tried!

Static Stretched


I was feeling out of it today...not to mention I didnt take any stimulants. I had some arguements last night that bothered me all the way into the morning, so the last thing i needed was ephedra on top of that.

I cheated last night too. Ice cream and Beer. :finger: I was so out of it this morning, but when I thought about what I ate last night, I HAD to go to the gym. However, by the time I got to cardio, I was spent.

All the workouts' volumes were different, lighter, but all had 30 sec RIs.

I deliberatly took it easy today. I liked the overhead barbell presses though. Everything else was average.
 
Stewart20 said:
eh, tits are over-rated....it's all about the ass, which in her case, I believe she has that covered quite well.
Click to expand...

Honestly, I need both. Ive been on the extremities of both ends of the pillar and one does not supercede the other, regardless of perfection.

Fucking a girl with zero tits just looks odd and thus, kills my sex drive for them.

Same thing goes with the ass. I know, I might always be single for this, but I dont want to settle for less.
 
AKIRA said:
Honestly, I need both. Ive been on the extremities of both ends of the pillar and one does not supercede the other, regardless of perfection.

Fucking a girl with zero tits just looks odd and thus, kills my sex drive for them.

Same thing goes with the ass. I know, I might always be single for this, but I dont want to settle for less.
Click to expand...

Fuck it, why not have your cake and eat it too? But just remember our conversation from a couple days ago....yeah, I once was seeing a chick who had the nicest set of Ds I have ever seen or felt and an ass that would make you cry. Yeah it was fun having sex with her, but in the end, I took her on a weekend trip to Boston and when we got home, I never spoke to her again, she just cut me off, no warnings, no nothing.

so, don't pass up a real good girl just because she may not have D tits or a slammin ass, that's todays "S20's Moral of the Day" :D
 
AKIRA said:
Hah, nowadays, Id be happy with someone who gives good head and wasnt ugly. Yeah, thats a good, general start. :read:
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say what you mean! :roflmao:
 
AKIRA said:
Holy shit, I had to look twice to see if thats what I said!
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:)

...heh...you're lucky I can't get to myspace and pull up a pic of you with that perfect 'deer caught in the headlights' look....it would work REALLY well here....
:)
 
AKIRA said:
Active Stretched

Warm ups..
Isometric Floor Bridges w/leg extension
Hyperextension

Standing OH Barbell Press
The bar for 2 sets of 8
65lbs for 6 reps
95lbs for 6 reps
135lbs for 4 sets, 6 reps (30 sec)

Wide & Close Grip Pull ups
BW for 4 sets, 6 reps (30 sec RI)

Alternating Hammer Strength High Row
1 plate + 25lbs on each side for 3 sets, 10 reps (30 sec RI)

Close Grip Bench Press
135lbs for 2 sets, 12 reps (30 sec RI)

Cardio..

Treadmill for 10 min. I tried!

Static Stretched


I was feeling out of it today...not to mention I didnt take any stimulants. I had some arguements last night that bothered me all the way into the morning, so the last thing i needed was ephedra on top of that.

I cheated last night too. Ice cream and Beer. :finger: I was so out of it this morning, but when I thought about what I ate last night, I HAD to go to the gym. However, by the time I got to cardio, I was spent.

All the workouts' volumes were different, lighter, but all had 30 sec RIs.

I deliberatly took it easy today. I liked the overhead barbell presses though. Everything else was average.
Click to expand...

Fuck it. Captain Jack's Buried Treasure was worth it. Between the dip, the dessert and the beer I easily hit 2,000 calories while we were there so I'm right with ya. You made it in there today, that's what matters.
 
Active Stretched

Warm ups..
Dragon Flags (a man next to me made a comment about these)
Pendelums
Single Legged RDLs (w/5lb DBs)

RDLs
The bar for 8 reps
135lbs for 6 reps
225lbs for 6 reps
275lbs for 4 reps (all DOH grip)
315lbs for 4 sets, 5 reps (90 sec RI; staggered grip)

Sumo Style Leg Press
3 plates on each side for 3 sets, 10 reps (30 sec RI)

Seated Calf
2 plates for 2 sets, 12 reps (30 sec RI)

HIIT
Treadmill
5 min warm up
10 sets of lvl 7.0-8.0 20 sec intervals w/3.5 1 minute in between
5 min cool down ("its cake right?" said another man next to me)

Static Stretched


Ok, I decided that if I want to keep some strength, Ive gotta get some rests back and knock down some volume. I was going to do 5 sets, but I wasnt sure if I could. My grip was failing, even with the staggered. Remember, I am still a scared bitch about my back...and for good reason too. :dont:

That being said, if I am going to raise the rests on the first exercise, then I gotta get serious with the rest of the exercises. In come sumo style leg press. Not that I didnt want to stop the Good Mornings, but since I am used to these, I decided to run with it. 3 plates with 30 sec RIs brought on the burn. And I am going to go up. No sense nancy-ing around with this shit. No "gonna take it easy," no no. Next time I will do more weight.

Calves were short...it was cuz of anxiety really...and I knew I was going to try HIIT on the treadmill.

I will have to increase the speeds on the treadmill. 7.0-8.0 arent sprints. But well see if I dont get shin splints.:2punch:
 
Anxiety..

Well its starting.. the anxiety of moving away and being alone.

It really hit me hard when I got to calves. It might have been cuz my heart rate was up and I was about to blame it on the ephedra, but then I thought.."no AKIRA, its you." Whether I drink, take stimulants, I will always have anxiety.

Its an undescribable feeling. I can describe the physicality I go through, but I cant do it justice. Whats really hard to describe is how it comes on. Its FEAR. Of NOTHING. Seriously, I sat down and thought about what if I want to talk to someone when I wake up? BAM! Here comes the attack I have to now fight off. Shit, a few days ago I saw a Prilosec commercial and thought "oh shit, what if I get heartburn in Gainesville?!" Its that serious. Its misplaced fear. My dad is a shrink and he told me "the thoughts ARENT real." Even so, I feel them. Its so hard to truck through it too. Turning it around and thinking about how far Ive come, the steps that I make will only make my future brighter. None of that shit works. The shit that does work (but doesnt stick) is thinking about the elimination of regret. The fact that if I go through this, I can look back years from now and say, "thank god I got through that; at least i tried; i furfilled my dream, etc"

I went to the tanning salon after working out and speaking to the guy there cheered me up big time. He asked me where I was moving to and I told him I was going back to school. This guy is 27 and he has no wife, no kids, so he is bound by nothing. He told me he was "envious" about me going. "Ive been thinking about going back." He said he does real estate, but now that the market is fucked, hes exploring options and that he "wanted to go back to school." I told him I was going to feel weird about being 27 going ot school. He said "the average age for graduate school is over 30." I dont think he knew I was going for a bachelors, but this school is a graduate school too. He wished me luck and seemed genuinely excited for me.

That alone made me feel better. When I heard him say "envious," it really had an effect on me. I dont know this guy, hes not a chum, but since I am a repeat customer we speak now and again. Hes got nothing to win over by me, so Id say he was being honest. And when he told me he was the same age as me, thinking about doing the same thing I am about to do, I emphasized with him.

Needless to say, I am all fucked up in th head when it comes to things like this. People would kill to be in my position, yet it scares me. I know its ok to be scared (hah, the other thing that guy said was "well fear is a form of excitement), but I dont know if anyone feels anxiety and has a tendency to have panic attacks. That I think makes me feel isolated cuz I dont know if anyone could know how I feel.
 
Muscle Gelz Transdermals
IronMag Labs Prohormones
where are you going?
 
what are you going to study at UF?

Why UF? Don't you live in southern florida? why not UM or FIU?
 
Ephedrine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Adverse effects

Adverse drug reactions (ADRs) are more common with systemic administration (e.g. injection or oral administration) compared to topical administration (e.g. nasal instillations). ADRs associated with ephedrine therapy include:[4]The approved maximum daily dosage of ephedrine for use as a bronchodilator is 150mg, as specified on the packaging of the bronchodilator and expectorant combination, Bronkaid, made by Bayer pharmaceuticals.
Overdose can lead to death, although the approved dose is not likely to cause severe reactions when used as directed.
Ephedrine can also lead to damage of the brain receptors over a period of high usage; this is because of its constant action on the neurochemicals. It also leads to high increase in blood pressure which over time can lead to damage in the blood vessels.
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The ephedra is certainly not helping the issue.
 
ReproMan said:
Ephedrine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



The ephedra is certainly not helping the issue.
Click to expand...

No. But this has always been there. When I get closing to move in day, the ephedra is going to be put aside. Along with drinking.

I was talking with James about the feelings I get everyday after drinking. I asked him if he ever felt anxiety some days after a night of drinks. He said he did sometimes. I asked him if he ever worried excessively on those days about the small things in life, he said sometimes. I told him that happens everyday after I drink. I feel it more often on 'hangover' days than ephedra days.

Thats why I always seem like a bitch when people ask me what time do I have to wake up tomorrow if I want to pass up a night of drinking. "A man needs his 7 hours." I dont know why, but I obviously dont have the chemistry in my head to "reset" completely after a night of drinks. And it doesnt have to be a drunk night either. 4-5 drinks can trigger it.

Then again, you guys dont give me shit for not going out the way Ryan and Dean always did, so thats a thing of the past and frankly, my anxiety level has been reduced.

Its weird. Today I had 2 ephedras (the 1st one is what helped fuel the anxiety) and I felt anxious/nervous. It comes on suddenly then quickly passes. Ive had so many of these that I know to quickly react to them and calm down with breathing, focusing on other shit, etc. On the days after I drink, the 'attacks' arent as sudden nor severe, but the anxious feeling remains and doesnt go away for much longer than ephedra days. Its like balancing throwing up versus feeling nausiated.

BUT!

Like I said, this happens anyway, whether I am on ephedra or not. In fact, the level of anxiety i feel on ephedra is equal to the level of anxiety I feel naturally. Plus, when I am on ephedra, if I have some anxiety, I can quickly think its CUZ of the ephedra and not my fucked up head..and that realization calms me down. In any case, as the time gets closer, both will be stopped.
 
The ephedra is making it worse whether you think so or not, and it seems you are well aware of drinking making your anxiety worse.

I'm no stranger to anxiety myself. I worry about everything and not only that, but it's anxiety that keeps me from pursuing a career in entertainment. When I was young anxiety would have me worked up to tears before I had to do something that I was nervous about, most of the time I'd act like a fucking lunatic just to get out of doing it. Remember the "Earth Angel" solo that Mat Lardizzone sang at the Martin County Fair in 8th grade chorus? Well, it was mine before I yelled at Ryan Burke in class and got myself kicked out. I was so scared to do that solo that I purposely got myself kicked out of chorus to avoid doing it. Before that I had an anxiety attack at an honors chorus concert and I didn't get on stage, I hyperventilated and then I cried the whole car ride home.

Now you know why I won't get up and sing Karaoke or even show up at the Jensen Beach Bowling alley when we had that night planned. I got so worked up about getting up there to do stupid ass karaoke and I got even more worked up about the pressure you guys would have put on me to get up on stage that I just smoked myself stupid and turned my ringer off.

Anxiety sucks man I know, but I know that you're not going to let it get in your way. I'm envious of you too man, I'll never get another chance to "go away to college", not many of us do. I would love to drop everything and go pursue an education and you're doing it you lucky bastard. Go kick the shit out of this thing and come back with a degree.
 
Anxiety is a total bitch. Anxiety + Ephedra + hangover = Evil.

Don't worry about Uni, it will be a great time for you, and the age thing will work big time in your favour with the ladies. Good luck man.
 
I get panic attacks sometimes. It's usually only in a social setting where I feel like I'm going to be the center of attention, or close enough to it. I tend to feel the fear, and the feeling of the room closing in on me and can almost see and hear everyone starring and laughing at me, even if they mean to laugh with me, it makes no difference. I can honestly say that I like people, but can't stand people either, and some days are far worse than others. I think a lot of this is related to the Tourettes syndrome and the hypersensitivity to criticism.

Anyways, we believe in you m,you're going to be fine and you'll do great!! :thumb:
 
goob, oh, I hardly ever mix them ALL up.

tallcall, thanks man. Hearing you say that someone(s) believes in me makes me feel valuable.

Truth be told, this anxiety stems from not believing in myself. My parents never challenged me and I never got pushed into something that as a kid youd hate, but as you grow up, you respect. For instance, my parents never said shit to me about taking my SATs. Not trying to pass the buck WHATSOEVER. There were just some things that I was never made aware of that I should make important nor did I ever get reconogition for talents that I showed.




ReproMan said:
The ephedra is making it worse whether you think so or not, and it seems you are well aware of drinking making your anxiety worse.

I'm no stranger to anxiety myself. I worry about everything and not only that, but it's anxiety that keeps me from pursuing a career in entertainment. When I was young anxiety would have me worked up to tears before I had to do something that I was nervous about, most of the time I'd act like a fucking lunatic just to get out of doing it. Remember the "Earth Angel" solo that Mat Lardizzone sang at the Martin County Fair in 8th grade chorus? Well, it was mine before I yelled at Ryan Burke in class and got myself kicked out. I was so scared to do that solo that I purposely got myself kicked out of chorus to avoid doing it. Before that I had an anxiety attack at an honors chorus concert and I didn't get on stage, I hyperventilated and then I cried the whole car ride home.

Now you know why I won't get up and sing Karaoke or even show up at the Jensen Beach Bowling alley when we had that night planned. I got so worked up about getting up there to do stupid ass karaoke and I got even more worked up about the pressure you guys would have put on me to get up on stage that I just smoked myself stupid and turned my ringer off.

Anxiety sucks man I know, but I know that you're not going to let it get in your way. I'm envious of you too man, I'll never get another chance to "go away to college", not many of us do. I would love to drop everything and go pursue an education and you're doing it you lucky bastard. Go kick the shit out of this thing and come back with a degree.
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Holy shit. I never knew. Well, that night we were going to do kareoke, I figured you got high, but not with a purpose. I also figured you had some sort of anxiety, but nothing like you just described. Like I said, I never knew, muchless, wouldve guessed.

I was going to respond to P, if he asked, why I was going for acting yet I have a passion for fitness. I was going to say that regardless of my anxiety, myself and REPRO can get infront of a group of people and perform without hesitation. I still think you wouldnt panic! Of course, consider the source, you sing out loud in front of a lot of people a lot of time. I like to think I can sing a few songs, but no where near the caliber of you nor the quantity of songs. I can sing only certain songs...when my schnoz isnt congested, which is rare. So I remain silent.

I still get nervous when I do any sort of performance. In fact, in my first Acting I performance at IRCC, I threw up before I left the house. As I did the skit (and you gotta rememebr this feeling), my anxiety disappeared and when it was all said and done, I couldve gotten up and did it again. Hah, I used to get these same feelings of when Id go to the mall as a teenager to get a girls phone number.

Whenever my family can tell that I am feeling unsure or full of doubt about this, they remind me of my audition. I went up there, by myself, stayed in a hotel room alone (for some reason, this always freaks me out), and got up at the crack of dawn to go do 2 monlogues in front of a panel of judges Ive never met, in a building Ive never been in. My family was like "i could never do that." Theyre right. Some people have textbook phobias of stage fright. I prepared for that audition all alone too and it got me in..thats why I couldnt pass UF up. Someone(s) saw something. I want to feel that again. It blows my mind that you had those feelings cuz I wouldve put my life on the line by saying you can do that same shit and more.

Anyway, I think my anxiety today stems from the fact that I am going up there tomorrow morning to sign a lease and kiss a store managers ass for a job. I am going to fight my anxiety some more too when I go to apply at Gainesville Health & Fitness. For some reason, that shit seems hard for me to do.
 
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