Not sure if this is in the right section, but heres the deal and would like some input, info, and maybe if someone has a personal experience similar that would help me out alot here.
Been training since I was 18, Im now 28..Ive done 4-6 cycles, always prop/tren.. My last cycle lasted almost 2 years (yes, 2 years), 100mg prop/75mg prop ed, the last 6 months was eod..but never had any break or ai when on. Luckily, thank god, my test levels and everything are back to normal. I took aromasin only after I decided to stop. So besides that, heres the real ordeal.
About 8 months ago I had a mental breakdown, I collapsed due to stress, woke up in the hospital, work, life sometimes your brain/body cant handle the stress. It was and still is a challenge trying to go up hill and have motivation to deal with everyday things, an ant hill turns into a mole hill in my head sometimes..but I deal with it.
Soo..I havent been to the gym since the hospital visit. I was fine with it, knowing id get back into it..but, looking in the mirror now, Ive lost a ton of muscle, havent eaten right, my diet was the same pretty much everyday, small meal in morning, chicken salad wrap at night and a 6 pack of beer..weekends id drink alot more. So, it took a toll on my body, so much that i lost all my confidence, I look in the mirror and I dont see myself (used to seeing someone/thing different for so long) and im embarrased to even have sex, ive turned down a lot of times with very attractive girls because I just dont have the confidence and it kills my sex drive..I dont see what they see I guess?
So, Im back at the gym a week ago, been training hard for only one week now..eating very clean. Im an all or nothing type of person and right now, im in it, so I just would like to know what to expect. But, although its hard, I do not want to do another cycle, I am doing this naturally.
My question is about muscle memory..ive read posts and threads about it but no one seems to of asked what I want to know. If after training for years unnatural, losing the muscle, out of the gym for 8+ months, does the muscle memory have any effect if I come back training natural? I know..from a past experience that my muscle came back very quick after starting a cycle, and im trying to stay away from that. What should I expect, considering my diet & training is in check?
Im 28, 6'2 200 lbs..bf? not sure, maybe 15%? I was 210-220 at 10% bf, i was big, ripped and thats who I was..its hard to keep motivation when you used to play with 120lb dumbbells like rag dolls and now Im benching with 70 dumbbells, and seems after the first set of 10-12, my next set I can barely make it to 6 reps...just an example.
So for anybody thats been through something similar, used aas, had a good physique, alot of muscle and then lost it and came back training naturally..Id love to hear it.
My diet: (just for the hell of it, feel free to critique)
AM: 3 scoops whey, 1/2 cup oats.
2 hrs later: 1 lb chicken breast (weighed before cooking), handful of spinach..in blender with water (yeah, its disgusting, but its easier than the food) tbspn of pb, brown rice.
3 hrs later: 3 scoops whey, pb.
GYM
Post workout: 4 scoops whey, 1/2 cup oats or banana.
1 hr later: 1 lb chicken breast, asparagus.
After that ill have another shake, some nuts, veggies..munch on what I have.
Not sure about total cals, but protein intake should be about 300-340grams.
My gym routine is 45 minutes of lifting followed by 20 minutes to 35 min cardio, depending on which muscle I work.
Sunday: Chest, abs, 20 min cardio.
Monday: Back, 20 minute cardio.
Tuesday:35 min cardio.
Wednesday: Legs, abs.
Thursday: Triceps, 35 min cardio.
Friday: Biceps, 35 min cardio.
Saturday: 35 min cardio.
Anyway, if you read through this whole thing..i know I went a rant a few times, feel free to chime in with any advice..
Appreciate it, any help is better than no help.
I might put up some pictures to give you guys some sort of idea where im coming from..again, id love the help guys..and not going to lie, its hard not to go and get back to the aas lifestyle.
Been training since I was 18, Im now 28..Ive done 4-6 cycles, always prop/tren.. My last cycle lasted almost 2 years (yes, 2 years), 100mg prop/75mg prop ed, the last 6 months was eod..but never had any break or ai when on. Luckily, thank god, my test levels and everything are back to normal. I took aromasin only after I decided to stop. So besides that, heres the real ordeal.
About 8 months ago I had a mental breakdown, I collapsed due to stress, woke up in the hospital, work, life sometimes your brain/body cant handle the stress. It was and still is a challenge trying to go up hill and have motivation to deal with everyday things, an ant hill turns into a mole hill in my head sometimes..but I deal with it.
Soo..I havent been to the gym since the hospital visit. I was fine with it, knowing id get back into it..but, looking in the mirror now, Ive lost a ton of muscle, havent eaten right, my diet was the same pretty much everyday, small meal in morning, chicken salad wrap at night and a 6 pack of beer..weekends id drink alot more. So, it took a toll on my body, so much that i lost all my confidence, I look in the mirror and I dont see myself (used to seeing someone/thing different for so long) and im embarrased to even have sex, ive turned down a lot of times with very attractive girls because I just dont have the confidence and it kills my sex drive..I dont see what they see I guess?
So, Im back at the gym a week ago, been training hard for only one week now..eating very clean. Im an all or nothing type of person and right now, im in it, so I just would like to know what to expect. But, although its hard, I do not want to do another cycle, I am doing this naturally.
My question is about muscle memory..ive read posts and threads about it but no one seems to of asked what I want to know. If after training for years unnatural, losing the muscle, out of the gym for 8+ months, does the muscle memory have any effect if I come back training natural? I know..from a past experience that my muscle came back very quick after starting a cycle, and im trying to stay away from that. What should I expect, considering my diet & training is in check?
Im 28, 6'2 200 lbs..bf? not sure, maybe 15%? I was 210-220 at 10% bf, i was big, ripped and thats who I was..its hard to keep motivation when you used to play with 120lb dumbbells like rag dolls and now Im benching with 70 dumbbells, and seems after the first set of 10-12, my next set I can barely make it to 6 reps...just an example.
So for anybody thats been through something similar, used aas, had a good physique, alot of muscle and then lost it and came back training naturally..Id love to hear it.
My diet: (just for the hell of it, feel free to critique)
AM: 3 scoops whey, 1/2 cup oats.
2 hrs later: 1 lb chicken breast (weighed before cooking), handful of spinach..in blender with water (yeah, its disgusting, but its easier than the food) tbspn of pb, brown rice.
3 hrs later: 3 scoops whey, pb.
GYM
Post workout: 4 scoops whey, 1/2 cup oats or banana.
1 hr later: 1 lb chicken breast, asparagus.
After that ill have another shake, some nuts, veggies..munch on what I have.
Not sure about total cals, but protein intake should be about 300-340grams.
My gym routine is 45 minutes of lifting followed by 20 minutes to 35 min cardio, depending on which muscle I work.
Sunday: Chest, abs, 20 min cardio.
Monday: Back, 20 minute cardio.
Tuesday:35 min cardio.
Wednesday: Legs, abs.
Thursday: Triceps, 35 min cardio.
Friday: Biceps, 35 min cardio.
Saturday: 35 min cardio.
Anyway, if you read through this whole thing..i know I went a rant a few times, feel free to chime in with any advice..
Appreciate it, any help is better than no help.
I might put up some pictures to give you guys some sort of idea where im coming from..again, id love the help guys..and not going to lie, its hard not to go and get back to the aas lifestyle.