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I think Pringles??? initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said ???Fuck it. Cut ???em up!???
You know, people think I???m into sports just because I???m a man. I???m not into sports. I mean, I like Gatorade, but that???s about as far as it goes. By the way, you don???t have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade. You could just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgets about this demographic. I???m thirsty for absolutely no reason. Other than the fact that liquid has not touched my lips for some time. Can I have a Gatorade too, or does that lightning bolt mean ???No????
This one time I was in a convenience store, and a guy came up and asked me, ???What???s the score???? and I said, ???What is the game? If it???s a competition between me and you, and the object is to ask the other guy questions he doesn???t give a shit about, then you are winning, one to nothing.???
."I bought a donut and they gave me a receipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for the donut - I'll just give you money and you give me the donut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend? "Don???t even act like I didn't buy a donut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's back home in the file... under 'D', for donut.""
" I saw a fish all by itself. I said 'Dude, you should stay in school.' "
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