Reasons Men Suck

[dino]

Not sure if this was posted before, be here we go again.........


1 - They can't settle down. Its like they have to spread their seed to everyone.
2 - All men are such hypocrites! If you're their friend they'll tell you that you need to find a real man and stop falling for such assholes. But when you fall for them they'll break your heart just like the rest.
3 - Just b/c it "feels right" means its ok. They completely forget about your feelings too.
4 - They rub it in your face that you can't have them.
5 - They deny what they said even when they know it was true at that time!
6 - The word love isn???t in their vocabulary, only lust "nothing" is good to wear
7 - That lovely black gunk under their finger nails from always working on their car
8 ??? The little head
9 - Their ego
10 - They get jealous easily
11 - "Good times" are when you???re in a dark room together
12 - They make you want them over and over again, and each time they hurt you like before
13 - 20 minutes is enough grieving time
14 - their ebonics
15 - I love you means I want sex
16 - Wanna be playaz
17 - Power tools are an extension of genitalia
18 - Pants are 4 sizes too big
19 - Male pattern baldness
20 - They BS constantly
21 - The geniuses tell your best friend secrets and expect them not to tell you
22 - When they???re w/ their girlfriend they look at other girls
23 - Scratch "their stuff" every 15 minutes
24 - Smell bad if not drenched in cologne
25 - They always wanna get w/ your friends

 

[Fade]

The only men that actually suck...are gay.

 

[dino]

26 - They always call girls bitches
27 - Claim everything their???s
28 - Everything they do is a competition
29 - NO PMS!
30 - Circle jerking
31 - They have to be all big and bad
32 - Always want a 3some w/ you and your friends
33 - Cuz they want their BJ but they won't lick us back ::gag gag:: (got it??)
34 - The good ones are gay
35 - Have a need to be "Mack Daddy"
36 - Toilet seat....terrible aim......got the picture?
37 - They destroy things lesser than them
38 - Take pride in their rude bodily functions
39 - They never grow up, my mom tells me this daily
40 - Leave the bathroom smelling extremely rancid
41 - They demand too much
42 - Expect you on your knees
43 - Some words that are not in a guy???s vocabulary: respect, love
44 - They don' know how to say sorry
45 - Um hi my eyes are up here, stop staring at my chest
46 - They just can't be satisfied w/ one female
47 - They don't take no for an answer
48 - They???re stinky
49 - They???re hairy
50 - They have this stupid walk

 

[ZECH]

8 ??? The little head
LMAO!!!

p.s. Dino....I love you!!

 

[ZECH]

33 - Cuz they want their BJ but they won't lick us back ::gag gag:: (got it??)

Not true!

 

[Fade]

Originally posted by dg806
33 - Cuz they want their BJ but they won't lick us back ::gag gag:: (got it??)

Not true!

No doubt. My tongue is a flicken machine.

 

[dino]

WAIT, I've got more.........





51 - We must not forget their manly tales about stupid stuff they probably never did
52 - They think that they???re just the best
53 - Guys think they're the greatest creatures that ever walked the earth
54 - They beat the crap out of each other for fun
55 - Many have no fashion sense
56 - You make them feel good about themselves, it goes to their head
57 ??? The way they think their sooo buff and actually a 7-year-old can whip their ass
58 - Take advantage when you???re most vulernable
59 - Think they could get anyone they wanted
60 - Have a problem with homosexuals. They???re all homophobic. Gay's are people too
61 - Love and leave
62 - Once they find out that you're crushing on them, they act like complete assholes
63 - Wait... what am i saying... they're always complete assholes
64 - Talk about their masturbation skills in public
65 - They act like they can really whoop someones ass, when they do actually fight (if they don't pussy out, which most do) they just end up like slapping each other and stuff
66 - Tell every friend how far they've gotten w/ you
67 - If you get pregnant, it's not thier fault
68 - Go for total whores w/ fucking blue eyeshadow!!!
69 - If they just break up w/ a girl.... 5 min later their already jumping on another one
70 - Thay say they'll call.... but never do
71 - Don't talk on the phone, and if they do they only want phone sex
72 - Would hump anything with 2 legs
73 - Hump anything w/ 4 legs
74 - Go after girls that are all hoochified but when you dress like that they make you cover up
75 - Want u to pleasure them but won't repay the favor

 

[dino]

OK, these are the last.......(for now)

love ya BO!



76 - They'll give u their ex girlfriend's jewelery and say that bought it 4 u.
77 - Most guys eat whatever they want and don't gain a pound, its so annoying
78 - Guys only care about a girl if they're gettin some
79 - They let what their friends have to say impact them so much, it influences the decisions they make about everything
80 - When they make you cry they think its funny.
81 - Ladies, ever heard this one "I'm in love w/ my car, not her."
82 - They feel "trapped"
83 - Because GOD supposedley created them first, they automatically rule everything
84 - menopause, menstruation... etc.....
85 - They think their all good, but can't really satisfy
86 - Guys take pride in their shit, literally
87 - They act all lovey dovey when they want sumtin'
88 - Hate Valentines Day!
89 - Always try to prove themselves better than you in everyway!

 

[Dr. Pain]

What's your point?


(I'm glad I'm different, Dino....you need to find one about "Real Men")


DP

 

[dino]

Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex with someone they love.

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

 

[dino]

Gees, I'm on a roll today........


Men are like.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.
Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like.....Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....Parking spots.
The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.

Men are like.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like.....Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like.....Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like.....Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like.....Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

 

[Erilaya]

O man Dino You rock! .. good thing I am BI.. so when I get sick of men I can find comfort in my female friends.. hell, I find comfort and FUN with my female friends all the time lately..Hubs is NO fun of late.. so I loved reading these!!
Thanks for posting them LOL
Erilay'a

 

[dino]

Some of them just crack me up..........

Like # 18 is so true after a certain age, and then they wear their belts WAY too high and look like Erkle!

 

[dino]

and # 86.....bwahahaha!

"honey, did you smell that one? Woooo that was a good one..."

 

[sawheet]

Dino Dino Dino we are bitter today? You need some Cheesecake and some TLC I think mmmmmmmmm

 

[dino]

mmmmmmmmmmm Cheesecake......

 

[Jodi]

#68 - why is that exactly. I've actually noticed that, HELLO - THE 80's are OVER!

Those are great Dino! Best I've seen in a long time.

 

[ZECH]

LMAO! She chooses the cheesecake over the TLC!

 

[sawheet]

Yes but the cheesecake would be served on my body, ala naked style.

 

[dino]

 

[craig777]

Dino,

Are we having a bad day

 

[Tank316]

Originally posted by craig777
Dino,

Are we having a bad day

ditto.
all this because of Dero. .....................j/k

 

[irontime]

Holy shit, somebody give this girl a beer would ya? Geeze

 

[hurtyhair4u]

And your point is ............



You ladies love all the stuff we give you to complain about with your friends

And by the way .... I always pay back the favor .

 

[Preacher]

Male Pattern Baldness ...

They beat the crap out of each other just for fun ..

I think you just described two of our most beloved members there!

 

[dino]

LMFAO

 

[hurtyhair4u]

Bitter ......... Party of one ......... Your table is ready

 

[mmafiter]

 

[butterfly]

My kind of woman, Dino!!!

 

[Badger]

Now Dino, just because you are having a seemingly bad day you just had to give all of the rest of the women here some very bad information about men. I, along with all of the regular HE-MEN here at IM, will laugh along with you on these. Actually they are pretty good ones. Keep them coming.