1. Having to defend everything I am. I'm white, so I should feel some sort of crap guilt and not be proud. I'm male, so I should feel guilty and not be proud. Although I struggle at it, I identify as Christian, so I should feel guilty and not be proud. I'm on my up through the fiscal strata and should feel guilty for working to be wealthy. But if you're black, female, Muslim, and poor, you should feel proud? Fuck that, I'm going on the offensive. I do not sit idly by when someone attacks some aspect of me. Neither on the Internet or in person. Those days are fucking gone.

you may want to see a therapist, because I have no clue what you're talking about.
2. People that think they know anything about shit because they heard about it on the interweb, the news told them it's the truth, or some talking head spoon feeds them their views. The same people that get tension headaches from reading books. I tend to still let this go unless it's something egregiously stupid (this covers your revistionist history) or violates point one.
Claiming something is "revisionist history" is highly ignorant of you. If you have ever studied history, you know that history is constantly being challenged. It is an ever-evolving academic field. Just because new information about the founding of the United States has come to light since you were in high school (I am assuming this is your highest level of education from your posts), does not mean that it is “revisionist.”
The point is this: historical theories change as new information comes to light. So do some research, and do not brush everything off as being “revisionist.” The Constitution is what our country is founded on, not the Declaration of Independence. Even if it was the other way around, the Declaration of Independence references maybe twice a god or creator. When it does, it says “their Creator,” not “the Creator.” You are going to have to do better than that.
Furthermore, you argue that since the founders were christian, this must mean our nation was founded on christianity. Assuming they were even the “actual, typical” christians that you talk about (which is highly debatable and most likely not the case)… why does this matter? The founders being christian does not equate to our nation being founded on christianity.
If you have actually read the Constitution, which you probably haven not, you will realize that the founders did not include “god,” “jesus,” “creator,” etc in there. This was not a mistake. Go read the First Amendment.
And these christian principles that you claim this country is founded on… what are they? Can you even articulate them, or is this just a Conservative catchphrase to use while bitching about Blacks, Muslims, Jews, the homeless, how you pay too much taxes, abortion, etc… that “these were not what our country was founded on.”
And even if our country was founded on christianity…. What difference does that make? How does that idea make us more moral, when you yourself, a purported christian, are about the biggest asshole ever? You are proof that identifying as a christian in no way makes you moral. From the example you give us, it is more likely a bad thing.
But if you're black, female, Muslim, and poor, you should feel proud? Fuck that . . .