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Remembering Erik

Today was a good day. Had my moment of weakness, of course, but it was a thumbs up day. Now if only I can make tomorrow the same...
 
I know this was touched upon earlier in the thread, but the journalists for newspapers pick a side from the start and roll with it. There are about 26 articles about me in my local papers packed with lies and painting me out to be a heartless monster. Usually they slant the article toward sympathy for the dead, as this elicits the stronger emotional response--outrage. Strong emotional responses = hot news. If someone threatened me with by firing a shotgun, your damn right I'd be swinging a tire iron--especially if someone drug my girlfriend out of my vehicle. Be proud of Erik. He had the balls to stand up and fight a fight he could never win because it was the right thing to do. The journalists should be held accountable for this sort of injustice. I hope those who love Erik get to know the truth, and the true offenders brought to judgment. Truly Erik was the victim. My condolences.
 
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Thank you, so much! Why do I post here everyday, especially when it's not fitness appropriate? For people like you and thoughts like yours. Everyday I'm fighting a battle to keep his name cleared. He WAS a hero, and I'm so very proud of him. He taught me the most valuable lessons of my lifetime. Everything that I do or become in life will be a direct result of the impact he had on my life. We all have flaws; Erik had flaws, but to me he was perfect and I'll never regret one moment spent with him. Thank you again and again for your post, it means the world to me. :heartpump :heartpump :heartpump
 
I like to see ya in the other threads too. You ARE moving ahead with life and I am digging that :thumb: . You seem to have this under control now Adrien. I had a 3 step forward 1 step back period for a wahile ... don't let that bother ya if you do it too. That is normal. You rock woman! :rocker:
 
PirateFromHell said:
If someone threatened me with by firing a shotgun, your damn right I'd be swing a tire iron--especially if someone drug my girlfriend out of my vehicle. Be proud of Erik. He had the balls to stand up and fight a fight he could never win because it was the right thing to do. The journalists should be held accountable for this sort of injustice. I hope those who love Erik get to know the truth, and the true offenders brought to judgment. Truly Erik was the victim. My condolences.
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Isn't it amazing how someone who wasn't even there and doesn't know the whole story can post something positive about Erik? I was there that night and I think I'm one of the few people NOT giving Adrien_j9 shit about him. People can be so ignorant. Regardles of who did what, Erik paid with his LIFE. No one else can even compare. Man people need to start using their heads...ya know, that lump three feet up from their asses??
 
Rocky_Road said:
Isn't it amazing how someone who wasn't even there and doesn't know the whole story can post something positive about Erik? I was there that night and I think I'm one of the few people NOT giving Adrien_j9 shit about him. People can be so ignorant. Regardles of who did what, Erik paid with his LIFE. No one else can even compare. Man people need to start using their heads...ya know, that lump three feet up from their asses??
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I talk to you everyday, you are my best friend. I'm so proud to know you and have you in my life, you've been such a great support for me. Ever wonder why I sit in front of my computer and talk about what happened? Now you know, because the people I find online are so much better "friends" than the people I SEE everyday. Thank you!
 
adrien_j9 said:
I talk to you everyday, you are my best friend. I'm so proud to know you and have you in my life, you've been such a great support for me. Ever wonder why I sit in front of my computer and talk about what happened? Now you know, because the people I find online are so much better "friends" than the people I SEE everyday. Thank you!
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SHoot girl, you're making me blush!!:love: That's what friends are for. (keep smilin', keep shinin', knowing you can always count on meeeeeee, fo shor, dats what friends are fooooooooooooooooo...:fart: )heehee. We've been friends 4-eva, (11 years to be exact.) I just want my goofy, crazy, yogurt-eating friend to be happy. Idn't dat sumpin???
 
Idn't da Lawd, good?
 
Hiya AAaayyyydrien. I saw your web site. Is that you on the left? You one fine ezzzample of the female species. Just came by to say hello :wave: and that I hope you have a good day tommarrow. :)
 
Hey BC! No, the girl on my site isn't me. I just love the picture, it's so expressive. Maybe someday I'll post a pic of me, but it won't be anytime soon. Today's been pretty good, so far! Weekend's coming - YEY!!! Hope you're having a great day as well!
 
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Today was a great day. A little sad in the beginning, but great by the day's end. I had my therapy session today. I truly believe it will help pull my pity party ass out of this rut.
I also spoke w/ my Pastor and my Doctor, who just happen to be married to each other. All in all, this was a great day. Special thanks, AGAIN, to Sheila, for being HIGHLY entertaining and finishing my night splendidly!!! Love you, girl!!!
 
Reflective mood today. Full of memories and bitersweet longings. Ahh well. To force myself to remember, nothing I do or say, no amount of tears that I shed, will bring him back. He will live on in my memories only. I am glad that it's the weekend. No reason to arise early tomorrow morning. Just me, pajamas, my dog, and makeshift family.
 
It's rainy and nasty outside today. My emotions are on too much of a rollercoaster, to not be affected by the dreariness of it. I know how to get myself out of this funk, and it's time I put my plan into effect. Sitting and listening to depressing music and obsessing over what cannot change will improve nothing. Just my headache. Just my grouchiness. Time to get rolling. Five weeks today he was attacked. Still miss you, every hour. Every minute.
 
Melissa,
I finally caught up on this thread since learning of your tragedy. You know my personal thoughts. Publicly I will state that I am overcome with indignation at the injustice and the irony of people who were trying to "protect" you all from leaving the party due to concerns about driving under the influence being involved with his death. Incompetence and failure of apparent noble intent is perhaps human but clearly no one had the sense to just back away and leave the man to his peace. Only God knows what really happened but I think it likely something made him feel the need to protect the thing he truly loved - You. Why else were you not struck in the frenzy? Do not blame yourself for this since he clearly died for something that he felt was worth fighting for. Many men have the capacity for such sacrifice and commitment but few find the thing in life that they judge precious enough to die for. Clearly he found that precious thing in you.

God Bless,
OD (Jim)
 
OD, thank you so much for your words. They truly mean the world to me. Honestly, it's thoughts like these from people here and few other places that keep me going. Everyday is hard. To see past the scum of the planet to view the beauty that's actually here, buried just beneath the surface, is difficult, but when witnessed: refreshing, comforting, and gives me reason to believe it "ain't all bad." Thank you, OD, for being able to see the real truth of that event. It reaffirms my belief in humanity. Thank you!
 
Today's been a good day. I found out that I will receive my massage table on Wednesday!! This is awesome because I can finally start accepting clients! Life isn't too bad right now.

There hasn't been any news of Erik's investigation, which sucks, but I'm not dwelling on it as much today as I usually do. I did find out today, that Erik's corneas were donated to a woman in Michigan who can now see because of them. His organs were donated to three men in Michigan, though I don't know which organs, and to whom they were donated. It's nice to know that Erik is still helping people, even after death.
I heard some other things as well, some not-so-flattering things about me. But it's to be expected. I don't expect certain people to like me at all. Rather, I'm more surprised that other actions haven't been taken. I'm promised a good ol' "spit in the eye" if I'm ever in contact with one person. That's just gross! Exchange of bodily fluids in that matter are both repulsive, and....icky. I'd thought about contacting this person before I heard that, to try and explain to her who I am, where I'm coming from, and what I felt. Now, however, I think it may be a good idea to let sleeping dogs lay. Besides, I'd probably vomit all over her if she did, indeed, spit in my face. Disgusting!
Overall, life is slowing moving forward, rather I'm slowly integrating myself back into life. Still love Erik to pieces. Still miss him like crazy, but I firmly believe he's still with me, so I get by each day.
 
I was just reading through some of the posts here. It's the first time I've looked through them since he died. I didn't read my posts, and I don't know when I'll be able to, but it was reassuring to read through everyone's responses. As though they were given anew. I'm astonished at the compassion and care at this website. I belong to a Grief Therapy website and I dont receive nearly the number of responses that I have here. That really says something about IM.
It's so weird that Erik's body parts are alive and kicking in other people. People that I'll never know. Maybe I met the person at the gas station today. I don't know if I posted this or not, but his heart was so big, strong, and so healthy, that the Doctors didn't know if they'd be able to find someone in need who had the space to case it. That makes me so proud of Erik. He did have a huge heart, literally and figuratively. I'll be so excited for the investigation to be finished so that all matters of the case can be fixed. There is so much that the public does not know, so much that I'm bursting to tell. I've never been any good at keeping secrets, but so far, so good. Four people have had their lives saved because of Erik. One person can see life moving and changing around her because of him. What a phenomenal gift he gave this planet. Even after death, he continues to give. I can only hope that one day I will be as great a person as he was. I love you Erik. I miss you so much. But you know this because you see everything. I love you and I will never forget. Goodnight, Baby.
 
Today's therapy session was a success. Overall, today has been a great day. Maybe it's because I'm getting the hell out of town tomorrow that makes today great. Maybe it's because I don't have school tomorrow and can actually get some chores accomplished. Maybe it's because I had a decent conversation with Erik's son's mom. Whichever the case may be, today has been great. I still think about Erik, all of the time. I guess I feel a little bit of contentment knowing that he's still with me. I have my massage table and clients lined up, rent is paid (THANK GOD!) and have money to buy food. Yes, life is good. Of course, I finished a lengthy paper for class early this morning - 3am to be exact - and that's off my shoulders. Nothing like pushing it to the very last minute!
I sent the boys a short note, to the point, and am content to leave it at that. I'm also in Chrono's story which thrusts me out of "newbie" status!
Tomorrow when my roomie gets out of work, we're heading to the place that Erik and I first hiked. It's a beautiful area, with a hidden lake deep in the woods. We'll walk the Pier Marquette river, watch the fly fisherman - as they never take breaks, and sink back into our roots. Camping, bonfire, and the sounds of nature have a holistic feel all their own. The smells of a forest, the sights, the animals...it's heaven. And the best part? Almost no interaction with the human species, except the fisherman, but they are a breed all their own - one that I love. It's quite breathtaking to sit and watch a fly fisherman as he rythmically casts his line... I'm in Heaven thinking about it and am busting to leave now. It'll be cold, but somehow the chill adds to the smell of the woods, almost as though colder weather were an intensifier. I'm not sure if we'll tent it, or use my Aunt's cabin. Whichever, it will be a great trip, one that I need to rejuvinate my soul. I'll write in my journal, talk with Erik, cry and rejoice. I can smell the pine trees already...
 
I just discovered some new information about the night that Erik died. It refreshes the whole evening, and reopens the wounds. Erik dropped the tire iron!!!! He'd put it down!!! He was taking control of the situation, trying to stop it by dropping his weapon WHILE surrounded by everyone at that party, and thus totally defenseless. Guess what happened!!!!! Some stupid motherfucker started taunting him. "Not such a big man without that tire iron, now are you?" And he picked it back up. WHY WOULD SOMEONE SAY THAT? Why would you taunt someone who was cornered and scared? If they hadn't said that, he'd probably still be alive. Fuck that, he WOULD be alive.
What do I do with this new bit of information?
When does this end???
 
I've not been in this thread because I did not feel I could begin to understand your pain or that my words would help. I am very terribly sorry about the whole situation, and I am sorry for this new info. People are stupid, they say very stupid things. I wish I could be of more help :( *HUGS* The wound may be reopened, but all your healing to this point has not gone lost. You've been incredibly strong, even if you see yourself as otherwise. :kiss:
 
Thank you, it means a lot to me, your post. I don't feel so strong right now. I know I've made progress, but feel like this news sets me back to the very beginning stage. I can't believe that something like this could have changed the outcome of the whole night. I feel betrayed all over again, knowing that people heard that callous comment, yet didn't tell me. I've begged everyone there that I know to tell me everything about that night, and can't help feeling like I've been lied to. It's an eye opener knowing that the friends I thought I had were no friends at all. It really hurts my feelings.
 
Well Adrian, I won't comment on any specifics as I dont know any of you and I wasnt there to judge either party, but I will say that "Time ATTEMPTS to heal all wounds". 13 years ago I lost the most important person in my life. My hero, my idol, my mentor, the person I wanted to be most like: my dad. He was a great soldier, father, husband and friend. What I lost with him passing away could never possible be replaced. I went to counseling for a LONG time to attempt to get over it. IT never completely worked. I am still in a state of disbelief 13 years later. IT still hurts, just less often. It is still devastating, just not as constant. Please do not be fooled that you will ever get over it or be "healed" by any counseling. IT just gets a little better and more controlled over time. Good counseling will work wonders, but not to 100% the way you would like. My advice, for what it is worth, face reality and work towards acceptance and moving on. Your life should not revolve around his past or your past with him. Every third word should not be his name. ITs hard, but I believe you are strong and sane enough to push forward in a positive way. I don't claim to be a counselor, but I have two ears, so feel free to contact me anytime if you need to chat or vent.

Peace and love
 
Melissa,

This is the first that I have heard this at all. I hope you believe me. I def. would have told you that. I was in the woods at the time that that must have been said. We didn't come back up to where you and Erik were until we saw your dad and the police. I don't know why someone would say that. How stupid. Do you know who said it? If so I'd call and let Lew know. I'm so sorry that you feel betrayed all over again. Like I said, this is the first I've heard about it. I'm always here for you...
 
Just be proud of your own inner strength Adrien, and know that your own inner power will get you through this no matter what comes from it. The ups and downs will still come and go. You will continue to grow and repair your life through it all ... no matter what!!
 
Voting day today, thank God it'll soon be over. The arguing, that is. Whomever wins we'll have to deal with tomorrow. I know who I'm voting for, and I'm proud of my decision and I know someone else would be too.
Today's been a great day, so far. Yesterday was interesting, to say the least. But today, as always, is a new day.
I've found a great friend in Erik's sister. She's kind and thoughtful, funny and bright. She and I are very much alike. Poor her, lucky me! I do wonder when the hype will die down. In the last two days I've learned a lot. I'm becoming content with the situations as they arise. I'm getting through it all. A lot has changed and my life will never ever be the same, but this experience has taught me about so many things. About love; loss; friendships; and trust. I look forward, each day, to the time that I'll be with Erik again, but until then, I know that I need to move forward with my life. It's time to get the show on the road, so to speak.
 
It's raining and cold outside today, very dreary. I don't know if it's the weather, but I'm sad today. Life is getting better as time passes, I recognize this, but I still have so many hours of each day that are sad and painful. Thoughts of two months ago, my life in Heaven, invade my daily living and it reminds me of what I lost. It's selfish, really. Completely selfish. I am suffering, Erik isn't. He's thrilled, he's ecstatic, elated, and peaceful. I'm not. Well, sometimes I have peaceful moments. I suppose it may be bacuse I haven't been to his grave site in a week, not to mention that I still have yet to visit his grave at the Veteran's cemetary. How strange, that I fear seeing his headstone with his beautiful name engraved in it. My house is still full of pictures and the flowers from our funeral for him, so there is the constant reminder of Erik. I could never remove any of it, though. To do so would be removing my heart from my body. It's here to stay, or at least as long as I'm here. Ahhh...so much to do.........no motivation to do it. Homework, work, parenting, friendships, family. Time to get some stuff done. I love you baby, and still miss you!
 
I just wanted to post a little something. I know how important it is to you to keep this thread alive and I understand why. I'm so glad that you and Emily are starting to work things out. It so important for Adrien.
You should get some answers this week and maybe even some closure.. We'll see.
Thinking of you always,
Shla
 
Boy this is terrible. I remember him well and just saw this post for the first time. Its brings back bad memories of all the young kids Ive seen dead on the street over the last 21 years. All of it over nothing, all of it senseless. How quick people are to kill nowdays, and how little is the respect for life.

Im truly sorry Melissa. To you, his friends, and his family. I wish I had words to lessen your pain but I dont. All I can tell you to do is to picture him looking down on you, which he is, and imagine what he would say to you. I bet he'd say he wants you to find a way to heal and move on with your life, and to find happiness again.....................................Rich
 
The verdict is in. The people responsible for Erik's death, literally got away with murder. No fees, no jail time, no restitution to his sons. Nothing. Nothing but a happy life free of all guilt and problems.
There's a demonstration of the American justice system. God bless the USA
 
Hey hon. I know how badly you wanted them to pay for what they did. I'm sorry. I can't speak for Allan, but knowing Brandon and seeing how upset he was, I'm sure he'll always have an unbelievable amount of guilt over this. You know Brandon. I know that doesn't make it okay or any better, but you have to believe that. Love you. hugs
 
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