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Scared Shitless
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Hybah
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Ok Han keep up the good work 
I'll get back to bodybuilding again probably in 4 months.. damnit i miss the power, boosted testosterone, 50 pushups/day and of course the ability to do handstands from sitting position.
The reason why i got into these problems is still not so very clear. But probably a previous bad lifestyle and 2 strong antibiotics after each other wrecked my intestinal microflora that resulted in yellow stool and yellow stool probably meant problems with conversion bile/bile acids that caused all those weird effects.
I'm waiting for the supplements and I wonder how much help they can be in the regeneration of my body. Hope it will give me a little turbo boost
I learned alot of things through this experience. Even learned to cook.. by now i know about 40-60 great recipes that are whole food certified.. gf loves that
I'll get back to bodybuilding again probably in 4 months.. damnit i miss the power, boosted testosterone, 50 pushups/day and of course the ability to do handstands from sitting position.The reason why i got into these problems is still not so very clear. But probably a previous bad lifestyle and 2 strong antibiotics after each other wrecked my intestinal microflora that resulted in yellow stool and yellow stool probably meant problems with conversion bile/bile acids that caused all those weird effects.
I'm waiting for the supplements and I wonder how much help they can be in the regeneration of my body. Hope it will give me a little turbo boost
I learned alot of things through this experience. Even learned to cook.. by now i know about 40-60 great recipes that are whole food certified.. gf loves that
Out of every thing negative there is some thing postive laws of nature. I do not know if it is a good thing, but I can really pick up on peoples behavior patterns more then ever before Like my freind she gets up sets for no apparent reason. She be talking to me and in chat room at same time. Then she takes it out on me. Gets frustrated and deletes me off messenger for 3 days and will not contact me. She did it again, but she'll come back ill give her 2-3 days. Cylic pattern thinking again LOL
Looking back it was the rancid fat (excess flax and heating it up in mic) the whole time becauase when my OAT came back it kept showing benzene which is a compound found in food perservatices and also exhaust fumes. i did not eat any processed foods and I was not sucking on car tail pipes. Then it dawn on me with further reseach I found it also was related to aldyehydes which are formed from rancid fats. I kept telling drs I felt like I was an alcoholic and started taking SAMME, but I was also taking alot of fish oils per Naturopath recommendations when I what fat I was taking in was already turned bad due to low vitamin E. So i never got rid of the source of the stress the excess poly unsaturated fats. When I got my FAt lipid profile back it told the story. omega 3 were 11.76 (5.06- 7.56) and omega 6 27.11 (29.53-33.11) and no wonder vitamin E came back low. Have to burn off the bad fats (vlcfas) and rebuiild with new ones, reduce stiffness cell membranes . So following troubles recommendations things are looking up. Stoped cooking with oils all together and just going to use them in shakes or after veggie are cooked. I need to cut back on udos because it giving me insommnia and that only variable I changed will only use 1 tBSP for a week then build up, staying mainly with EVO due to anti-inflammation and less chance of going rancid on me. Its going to be a long road, but I will beback to normal body rebounds quick. I know my body and i know what is capable of and even then it could be pushed even further interms of healing and recupperation.
Looking back it was the rancid fat (excess flax and heating it up in mic) the whole time becauase when my OAT came back it kept showing benzene which is a compound found in food perservatices and also exhaust fumes. i did not eat any processed foods and I was not sucking on car tail pipes. Then it dawn on me with further reseach I found it also was related to aldyehydes which are formed from rancid fats. I kept telling drs I felt like I was an alcoholic and started taking SAMME, but I was also taking alot of fish oils per Naturopath recommendations when I what fat I was taking in was already turned bad due to low vitamin E. So i never got rid of the source of the stress the excess poly unsaturated fats. When I got my FAt lipid profile back it told the story. omega 3 were 11.76 (5.06- 7.56) and omega 6 27.11 (29.53-33.11) and no wonder vitamin E came back low. Have to burn off the bad fats (vlcfas) and rebuiild with new ones, reduce stiffness cell membranes . So following troubles recommendations things are looking up. Stoped cooking with oils all together and just going to use them in shakes or after veggie are cooked. I need to cut back on udos because it giving me insommnia and that only variable I changed will only use 1 tBSP for a week then build up, staying mainly with EVO due to anti-inflammation and less chance of going rancid on me. Its going to be a long road, but I will beback to normal body rebounds quick. I know my body and i know what is capable of and even then it could be pushed even further interms of healing and recupperation.
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Hybah
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Fats.. hmm... the only thing about fats and me was that i came from 72 (i'm exactly 6 ft tall) kg to 59!!! now i'm 66 and still way too skinny.. gotta get back to atleast 70 again I really lost ALOT of weight in such a short time..
I really lost ALOT of weight in such a short time..
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Interesting to see the mention of benezene. Presumably an environmetal contaminant exposure issue. Benzoates (benzene ring plus acid function on the one position or di-acid on the 1,4 positions on the ring) aren't usually deacylated, the ring is attacked through the carboxylate moiety by an aryl hydroxylase/P450 enzyme in liver. That you had high levels in blood suggests that the sterol elimination pathway was blocked.
Aldehydes aren't going to be aromatized, sorry, unlikely chemistry here.
You probably do have that unusual fatty acid saturation in your mito and ER lipid bilayers, especially in brain, liver, and adrenals. Over time, that should decrease as the sterol pathway restarts the desaturase enzymes and you revert to a more normal fatty acid metabolism pattern. Plus, you will slowly shed cells.
You're not the only one I've come across who was put on this whacky high saturated fat diet in an attempt to raise total cholesterol.
Aldehydes aren't going to be aromatized, sorry, unlikely chemistry here.
You probably do have that unusual fatty acid saturation in your mito and ER lipid bilayers, especially in brain, liver, and adrenals. Over time, that should decrease as the sterol pathway restarts the desaturase enzymes and you revert to a more normal fatty acid metabolism pattern. Plus, you will slowly shed cells.
You're not the only one I've come across who was put on this whacky high saturated fat diet in an attempt to raise total cholesterol.
On the OAT they recommended glycine which i took for a year and retested and still the tested high on benzene. Only thing I can hypothesis about is that due from the excessve fish oils (3 tsp a day) and 3 TBSP of coccconut oil for an extended amount of time caused bi lipid alterations and lowered my antioxident levels even more. I do live by main road so I could be getting constant exposure from the cars because antioxident reserves are drained as proved on last Blood cell analysis. Extrememly low vitamin E and coenzyme q10 could possible explains why my gums have been bleeding for past 2 years and dentist did not know why despite treatments and mouth washes tried, If you lack coennyzme q10 this could severely impact cell membrane stabilization as well as ATP formation correct?. My last blood test should elevated anion gap and also albumin levels are these a sign of my detoxification trying to get rid of toxins? I even started to keep a diary of what supplements I have been taking and how I been feeling. Your recommendatons have helped tremendously other day I ran out of coenzyme q10 and felt a big drop in energy. If it was psychological i do not know. i did alittle research other day and found a study done on how it can elevate vitamins and minerals in the blood I will see if I can find it. It was very interedting.
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You're in the wrong thread, HAN.
>If you lack coennyzme q10 this could severely impact cell membrane stabilization as well as ATP formation correct?.
Yes.
For detox, you need the sulfonation cycles functioning, and also glucarate cycle must work. That's one of the reasons I recommended glucuronolactone, remember? You can use it or glucaric acid.
>If you lack coennyzme q10 this could severely impact cell membrane stabilization as well as ATP formation correct?.
Yes.
For detox, you need the sulfonation cycles functioning, and also glucarate cycle must work. That's one of the reasons I recommended glucuronolactone, remember? You can use it or glucaric acid.
Hybah
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Btw trouble.. what about the gut microflora?? Mine was totaly devastated thanks to strong antibiotics... i think there are quite alot of questions about the effectivity of all those probiotics.. what is your view on the issue? Is it even worth it spending money on them?? Can they really travel through the stomach,acids and other parts of GI system?? For example the small intestine has different PH on different parts .. some say the probiotic bacterias just can't get through them and they can't be implanted on the most crucial places.
You see 3 weeks before my body totaly crashed i started taking some probiotics.. actually they were doing some work (atleast i think so) and i could see it on my stool and my digestion was all better.. not 100% but somehow better... but then things were going rapidly bad and some symptoms flared up (my libido crashed for example).. could probiotics actually cause some chaos to my intestina microflora which resulted in a total crash??
You see 3 weeks before my body totaly crashed i started taking some probiotics.. actually they were doing some work (atleast i think so) and i could see it on my stool and my digestion was all better.. not 100% but somehow better... but then things were going rapidly bad and some symptoms flared up (my libido crashed for example).. could probiotics actually cause some chaos to my intestina microflora which resulted in a total crash??
I kinda of got a disturbing PM the other day and I tried calling his cell phone back and it just goes to his voice mail and does not ring first. This tells me that its shut off. If I do not hear anything back then going i am going to start looking. Not jumping to conclusion but last pm was not a good one
^ What did he (in general), if I may ask?
If one does not succeed try again ..to permeantly relieve the pain for good..
I am new here. And I haven't read most of the posts in this thread but I was wondering if were you tested for Celiac Disease? If not ask for the doctor to test you for Celiac. ( If you were then sorry for the post)
The blood panel consists of of antiendomysial antibody (IgA), antitransglutaminase (IgA), antigliadin (IgA and IgG), and total serum IgA is typically ordered. Combined, these antibodies provide a sensitive and specific indicator for the presence of celiac disease. If the results are mixed then get and endoscopy performed. Looking at your first post, your symptoms are like my brother's pre-diagnosis. I'm not sure what your other symptoms are but if left untreated Celiac symptoms can be severe and varied. Everything from seizures to bone and joint pain.
It's just a thought. My brother was like you before the doctors found out what was wrong with him. Very very depressed, I suggest you do some looking online. Other names for Celiac are Sprue; Nontropical sprue; Gluten intolerance; Gluten-sensitive enteropathy
It's worth a try. I hope they find out what's wrong soon.
PS this is the specfics on the blood panel from the Celiac Association. So you know what to ask about. A lot of doctors know nothing about celiac.
Blood Tests
A number of tests, sometimes collectively referred to as the Celiac Blood Panel, will aid the physician in diagnosis. The tests may include, but are not limited to:
*
*
Serologic Tests
1. AEA (Immunoglobulin A anti-endomysium antibodies)
2. AGA (IgA anti-gliadin antibodies)
3. AGG (IgG anti-gliadin antibodies)
4. tTGA (IgA anti-tissue transglutaminase)
* Tolerance or Measure of Digestion/Absorption Tests
1. Lactose tolerance test.
2. D-Xylose test.
http://www.csaceliacs.org/index.php
http://www.csaceliacs.org/celiac_diagnosis.php
The blood panel consists of of antiendomysial antibody (IgA), antitransglutaminase (IgA), antigliadin (IgA and IgG), and total serum IgA is typically ordered. Combined, these antibodies provide a sensitive and specific indicator for the presence of celiac disease. If the results are mixed then get and endoscopy performed. Looking at your first post, your symptoms are like my brother's pre-diagnosis. I'm not sure what your other symptoms are but if left untreated Celiac symptoms can be severe and varied. Everything from seizures to bone and joint pain.
It's just a thought. My brother was like you before the doctors found out what was wrong with him. Very very depressed, I suggest you do some looking online. Other names for Celiac are Sprue; Nontropical sprue; Gluten intolerance; Gluten-sensitive enteropathy
It's worth a try. I hope they find out what's wrong soon.
PS this is the specfics on the blood panel from the Celiac Association. So you know what to ask about. A lot of doctors know nothing about celiac.
Blood Tests
A number of tests, sometimes collectively referred to as the Celiac Blood Panel, will aid the physician in diagnosis. The tests may include, but are not limited to:
*
*
Serologic Tests
1. AEA (Immunoglobulin A anti-endomysium antibodies)
2. AGA (IgA anti-gliadin antibodies)
3. AGG (IgG anti-gliadin antibodies)
4. tTGA (IgA anti-tissue transglutaminase)
* Tolerance or Measure of Digestion/Absorption Tests
1. Lactose tolerance test.
2. D-Xylose test.
http://www.csaceliacs.org/index.php
http://www.csaceliacs.org/celiac_diagnosis.php
A year ago he was tested for celiac and tested postive, they just tested via stool test and he tested negative. I do not know if they tested his blood for celiac and from my understanding if you are on a gluten free diet you could test negative and still have it because gluten has to be present in order for blood test to pick it the antibodies. Stool test showed candida was gone and the parasite enterobacteria histoltyica was still present from previous test. SiGA was still dangerously low. IMO he just needed more time and patience, but they were slowly dispating. You goto feel sorry for him they thought he had lyme disease and then pumped him full of antibiotics and he did not respond to treatment, but they never retested to see if antibodies were reduced. They went by how he responded to treatment. His family had to sell there freaken house and move due to this and i think that is what affected him most and maybe felt like a burden to his family. I kept telling him your real freinds would come and visit so it showed who your true freinds are. People think that he did not try, he did and tried hard. He took and did everything he was told, but was just impatient. After 5 days i have not heard from him and he usually calls once every few days. Mark my words other people are going to fall prey to this due to increasing stress placed upon people today and drs just want to give patience antidepressants like they are peds instead of informing them on behavioral and lifestlye adaptions that could assit them greater then any drug. IMO antidepressants have there place in certain instance, but may be a combination of stress managemnt with antidepressants (if needed) would be the better solution. However the drug companies can not put stress reduction in a pill and profit from it. Antidepressants are just bandaid approach because they are not the main source of the problem as Trouble has been emphasing on here over and over again STRESS is. Drugs just treat the side effects of stress. If the stress is reduced antidepressants may not even be needed.
What did the test results show OTB?
Parasitic infection and gut wall inflammation which ND already suspected along time ago and tried to treat, but then he did not know anything about stress management it was not untill later that he tried it, but just did not give it enough time. As Trouble and people on here keep reiterating the proper course of treatment was stress reduction and to purify the liver, adrenal and brain pathways. What one some one says and does only they know. They want to have the desire to get better. Healing begins in the mind but some times the body can play tricks on the mind as well. I gave him all the encouragement as I could and thats all i had to offer telling him things get worse before better and to keep up hope. One of the things he needs to focus on. If all your "freinds" are gone and you feel a burden to parents he had no one to turn to except here were people tried to offer advice, but ended up more bashing him and driving him more to the edge. it was not a cry for attention but rather frustrations and untill you endore this you would never understand.
Hybah
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I was also tested for coeliac and negative. But it was 3 months after I started the whole foods diet (without fruit and grains). I had some allergic tests done and to my no suprise i was shown pretty positive to almost anything. Pets, latex, plant allergens you name it. I already knew it this could be possible because of the leaky gut.
And btw... the other guy i met who had problems.. I told him to get tested to see what's up and voila he also underwent stool tests and not suprisingly the test showed some candida.. and that means LEAKY GUT ... bummer... another guy flying in the same shit .. whopeee.
And btw... the other guy i met who had problems.. I told him to get tested to see what's up and voila he also underwent stool tests and not suprisingly the test showed some candida.. and that means LEAKY GUT ... bummer... another guy flying in the same shit .. whopeee.
Any how many more people are up shits creek with out a paddle as well not knowing it
i learned my lesson and will never give up my 20 minutes of peace a day thats for sure. As much as i hate to say it i am going obituary hunting today 
hardasnails1973 said:As much as i hate to say it i am going obituary hunting today
If the worst case scenario has happened, would it be OK to tell us more about Oaktown. Where was he living last? He was in WA state, CA, and I think somewhere else.
I think he was living there last????oaktownboy said:
He lived in one of those places. I think he was recently talking about his Father canceled a credit card purchase or something so he may have been living with his dad in Richmond??????????/oaktownboy said:
Well I searched the obits for those 2 towns under Justin, they go back 14 days which is how long he's been MIA no results were returned. Thats some what positive right???????
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Brentwood CA, not WA state.
Hybah: not sure what effect the probiotic would have on your gut community, chances are, there were other factors also involved in your "crash".
Hybah: not sure what effect the probiotic would have on your gut community, chances are, there were other factors also involved in your "crash".
i have been trying to get hold of bonecrusher..he has the information just so we can verify it. Hopefully hes getting help and is just not able to call or worst case scenerio
maniclion said:
True but then he father had to sell that house..
Yeah, I checked Brentwood, CA because I remembered in his Sports Med Doctors thread he said he lived in Northern Cali.Trouble said:
I hope we find out more from Bonecrusher....
Hybah
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Trouble, my story is a mix of genetics and not that great lifestyle. I wasn't really stressed anytime in my life. I always enjoyed every second of my life and was the one who never had moods nor was angry,agressive and etc .. i was the most stable guy you can imagine. I was even doing relaxation before this when i was for 2 years playing around with bwgen (www.bwgen.com) and was trying shit that the brain can do (maybe I altered my brain chemistry? hmm). Antibiotics only pushed me over the edge.. even without them i was definitely leaky because otherwise they woudln't cause such damage.. that's all... but what caused is irrelevant because there's only one cure I'll try some probiotics.. hope they can speed up my process of getting definitely cured... my supps are already on the post so i'm going to pick them up (Sam-e,Nac) and i already have Gaba, Taurine and glycine. Hope to find a good dosage.
I'll try some probiotics.. hope they can speed up my process of getting definitely cured... my supps are already on the post so i'm going to pick them up (Sam-e,Nac) and i already have Gaba, Taurine and glycine. Hope to find a good dosage.
Hybah said:Trouble, my story is a mix of genetics and not that great lifestyle. I wasn't really stressed anytime in my life. I always enjoyed every second of my life and was the one who never had moods nor was angry,agressive and etc .. i was the most stable guy you can imagine. I was even doing relaxation before this when i was for 2 years playing around with bwgen (www.bwgen.com) and was trying shit that the brain can do (maybe I altered my brain chemistry? hmm). Antibiotics only pushed me over the edge.. even without them i was definitely leaky because otherwise they woudln't cause such damage.. that's all... but what caused is irrelevant because there's only one cure
Gaba is some good shit. after about a month i finally got over the sensitivity and now i can take 500 mgs 3-4 times a day. It really helped me calm down. I need more taurine and samme. i think the combinatioin of relaxation and suppelements, removing excess polyunsaturated fats to more mono seemed to work. With adrenal issue i heard to sides of the coin more potassium and less sea salt and vice versa. I am trying to find that right balance. i can finally do cardio for 30-40 minutes with out huffing and puffying. this paast week has been hell was ER for 11 hours at 11 pm to 10 am with mom for unknown pain and was up with her all night 5 nights straight so barely any sleep, plus gf being a pain in the ass as usual, worrying about justin, i finally broke down and was in bed all day yesterday throwing up and vomiting, bowels problems ect. I tried to go walk think about nothing, but it was just too overwhelming. Today i seem much better. Will practice 2-3 sessions of relaxation. i also saw that as well on line bgwen and i need to keep my mind in more alpha waves instead of beta. i tried to listen to it but the buzzing noise gave me a freaken head ache and i deleted it. i have plenty of serotonin in the blood the shit is just not getting metabolized that the whole problem. Receptors are blocked, desentitised,malfunctioinng. I wish I knew a way of repairing them ...may balancing the liver and fatty acid imbalance may be the key. i do not know. I spent hours researching serotonin receptor availablilty metabolism, but only thing i could come up with is that excessive lipid perioxationn and free radicals may have damage them. i think alot more people suffer from this problem and are completely unaware of it..
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I've got a client a little like you, HAN. Is caregiver to his mother and sibling (even though she is recently remarried, the new stepfather is happy to let my client bear an unfair burden of emotional support for her) and has a difficult relationship with his girlfriend. I suggested to him that his burdens must be shifted. One approach was to get his mother and sibling, who has stress-related health problems, into counseling. I also recommended counseling for his needy SO.
Its possible to become entrapped in unbalanced give-take relationships without our immediate circle of family and friends. Its one thing to be a positive support node, and another to have someone else hand you the responsibility for their personal happiness and wellbeing. That leads to additional stress, interpersonal strife and eventual HPA burnout, with unhappy consequences of emotional exhaustion and social withdrawal.
Once behind self made walls, treading on a slipper slope of seclusion, a decline in mental and physical health is almost assured.
You need to distance yourself emotionally from these burdens, carefully look them over for ways to delegate them to others, to find working solutions that allow you to continue to be helpful, but also allow you to protect your own health.
Undrestand: you valuation and validation do not rest in the hands of others. They cannot be bought by kindness. Family obligations must not be shirked, but neither must they be viewed as a ball and chain. In my clients case, stress problems appear endemic in the family. Hybah and your situation may be similar. Your recovery requires that you attend to this issue of imbalance.
One last item: You chose your gf. If she is a "pain in the ass", it may well be because you induce that response from her, through your actions. I can't help but notice that there is an issue of respect and trust between you and her that needs work.
On serotonin. Its likely that your nutrient absorption is very poor. Your ability to take up the cofactors and micronutrients necessary to for interacting metabolic pathways in liver and brain is impaired. That restricts your ability to manufature melatonin, serotonin, dopamine, GABA, and glutathione.
Sleep is essential; not just its amount, but when we practice our sleep hygiene, it must be relatively close to envolutionarily dictated norms ( a 24/25 hr cycle), driven by light and thermal ques. You have precious little reserve to deal with excessive stress, never mind sleep deprivation that runs for days at a time.
=========================================================
A word on this thread.
OTB is probably with his mother; she may have economic circumstances that preclude his access to the internet and free use of a cell phone. His absence is not necessarily the worst-case sceario, simply one of expedience.
We also note that he has attention and social deficit, depression, and is emotionally needy. His last message could be an emotional cry for help (a constant theme in this thread), but it might also be typical for OTB, a drama queen tactic.
If he chooses, he can recontact us through internet access at his local library. He has been provided the technical explanations and steps to medical solutions that he needed and has been offered more than enough emotional support from generous hearted forum members.
OTBs fate lies in his own hands. He chooses his heaven and hell.
We have done our best here. Let be. Let go. Whether or not he has a positive outcome from his time here, or whether he chooses an unfortunate action that terminates his interaction with us, it's beyond our ability to do more than we have.
To the many forum members who have followed this long saga of decent into personal hell, there are important lessons to be had from its thousand plus posts over nearly two and half years.
If there are further posts to this thread, let them be a telling of these lessons, for the benefit of all. This thread is not about to become a death-watch. If it does, I will close it. There is enough darkness in its content.
Let there be lightness in the positive that can be extracted from its pages.
Its possible to become entrapped in unbalanced give-take relationships without our immediate circle of family and friends. Its one thing to be a positive support node, and another to have someone else hand you the responsibility for their personal happiness and wellbeing. That leads to additional stress, interpersonal strife and eventual HPA burnout, with unhappy consequences of emotional exhaustion and social withdrawal.
Once behind self made walls, treading on a slipper slope of seclusion, a decline in mental and physical health is almost assured.
You need to distance yourself emotionally from these burdens, carefully look them over for ways to delegate them to others, to find working solutions that allow you to continue to be helpful, but also allow you to protect your own health.
Undrestand: you valuation and validation do not rest in the hands of others. They cannot be bought by kindness. Family obligations must not be shirked, but neither must they be viewed as a ball and chain. In my clients case, stress problems appear endemic in the family. Hybah and your situation may be similar. Your recovery requires that you attend to this issue of imbalance.
One last item: You chose your gf. If she is a "pain in the ass", it may well be because you induce that response from her, through your actions. I can't help but notice that there is an issue of respect and trust between you and her that needs work.
On serotonin. Its likely that your nutrient absorption is very poor. Your ability to take up the cofactors and micronutrients necessary to for interacting metabolic pathways in liver and brain is impaired. That restricts your ability to manufature melatonin, serotonin, dopamine, GABA, and glutathione.
Sleep is essential; not just its amount, but when we practice our sleep hygiene, it must be relatively close to envolutionarily dictated norms ( a 24/25 hr cycle), driven by light and thermal ques. You have precious little reserve to deal with excessive stress, never mind sleep deprivation that runs for days at a time.
=========================================================
A word on this thread.
OTB is probably with his mother; she may have economic circumstances that preclude his access to the internet and free use of a cell phone. His absence is not necessarily the worst-case sceario, simply one of expedience.
We also note that he has attention and social deficit, depression, and is emotionally needy. His last message could be an emotional cry for help (a constant theme in this thread), but it might also be typical for OTB, a drama queen tactic.
If he chooses, he can recontact us through internet access at his local library. He has been provided the technical explanations and steps to medical solutions that he needed and has been offered more than enough emotional support from generous hearted forum members.
OTBs fate lies in his own hands. He chooses his heaven and hell.
We have done our best here. Let be. Let go. Whether or not he has a positive outcome from his time here, or whether he chooses an unfortunate action that terminates his interaction with us, it's beyond our ability to do more than we have.
To the many forum members who have followed this long saga of decent into personal hell, there are important lessons to be had from its thousand plus posts over nearly two and half years.
If there are further posts to this thread, let them be a telling of these lessons, for the benefit of all. This thread is not about to become a death-watch. If it does, I will close it. There is enough darkness in its content.
Let there be lightness in the positive that can be extracted from its pages.
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