silly one liners

[jagbender]

I have a fear of speedbumps.
But I'm slowly getting over it.

 

[jagbender]

If you dress like a cowboy, are you ranch dressing?

 

[jagbender]

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
-A gummy bear.

 

[jagbender]

I just ate a bubble gum colored crayon and it was delicious!!!

 

[jagbender]

A broken coccyx is a pain in the ass!

 

[jagbender]

I joined the Tourettes society last week.
They just got finished swearing me in.

 

[jagbender]

saw a Snowman in the produce aisle picking his nose.

 

[jagbender]

I just found a trampoline on sale for 50% off!
Needless to say I jumped on the offer.

 

[jagbender]

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs.
They always take things literally.

 

[jagbender]

What concert cost 45 cents?

50 cent, featuring Nickelback

 

[jagbender]

Everybody has always said I was gullible and financially irresponsible. I'll bet they'll shut up when I tell them I won the Nigerian Lottery!!

 

[jagbender]

Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

 

[jagbender]

If you ever walked into a room and tripped on a bra
It was a booby trap.

 

[jagbender]

I've never been skydiving, but I have zoomed in on Google earth really fast.

 

[jagbender]

Someone called today and tried to sell me a coffin.
I said, that's the last thing I need.

 

[jagbender]

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

 

[Christsean]

I don't have a funny bone in my body.... No really.

 

[GUNRACK]

Why don't you go slip into something more comfortable...like a coma