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So am I officially a dirty old man now?

Crono1000

Crono1000

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So like any good story this one begins with me masterbating. Titanya's been out of the house for the weekend and so I thought I'd take advantage of the alonetime: I've been holding out for 2 days straight so that today I could "beat" my old record of 7 times in 1 day. Well, given that the ol' ball and chain isn't around to tell me not to eat like a pig, I decided I'd get #3 out and then hit the Chinese Buffet for the special lunch price, get back home and then crank out #4 to the hot asian waitress who I would store in my spank bank. So I wrap up #3, tuck it in, and then head straight out of the apartment to get to the buffet in time, where I meet our new neighbor (a cute chick but I'm pretty sure she's a level 70 night elf priest in some other reality). I introduce myself, she introduces herself, we shake hands, and then I drive off.

However, it is then that I realize that not 20 seconds probably passed between me practicing to hold an eggroll and me shaking this poor, unsuspecting chick's hand. It just felt... kinda dirty, but kinda funny too.
 
Well if that sort of behavior makes you a dirty old man, I think I'm sort of in there with you, hell I think we're just about all there with you.
 
Crono1000 said:
So like any good story this one begins with me masterbating. Titanya's been out of the house for the weekend and so I thought I'd take advantage of the alonetime: I've been holding out for 2 days straight so that today I could "beat" my old record of 7 times in 1 day. Well, given that the ol' ball and chain isn't around to tell me not to eat like a pig, I decided I'd get #3 out and then hit the Chinese Buffet for the special lunch price, get back home and then crank out #4 to the hot asian waitress who I would store in my spank bank. So I wrap up #3, tuck it in, and then head straight out of the apartment to get to the buffet in time, where I meet our new neighbor (a cute chick but I'm pretty sure she's a level 70 night elf priest in some other reality). I introduce myself, she introduces herself, we shake hands, and then I drive off.

However, it is then that I realize that not 20 seconds probably passed between me practicing to hold an eggroll and me shaking this poor, unsuspecting chick's hand. It just felt... kinda dirty, but kinda funny too.
Click to expand...

:thinking: nahhh I think it's more a matter of intention. A dirty old man would have that whole premeditated thing going on, and you didn't. The anticipation or her touch would be followed by the grin as his hand grasped hers. You were non-plussed about that part. There would be an uncontrollable need to hold the clasp of hands longer than she was comfortable with. You never mentioned it. All that closeness would of course be followed by a hurried walk directly to the nearest public men's room cuz a proper dirty old man would have no choice but to punch his clown within moments. You managed enough composure to make it home before you rubbed one out.

While you are not qualified to call yourself a dirty old man ... you do have potential.
 
BoneCrusher said:
:thinking: nahhh I think it's more a matter of intention. A dirty old man would have that whole premeditated thing going on, and you didn't. The anticipation or her touch would be followed by the grin as his hand grasped hers. You were non-plussed about that part. There would be an uncontrollable need to hold the clasp of hands longer than she was comfortable with. You never mentioned it. All that closeness would of course be followed by a hurried walk directly to the nearest public men's room cuz a proper dirty old man would have no choice but to punch his clown within moments. You managed enough composure to make it home before you rubbed one out.

While you are not qualified to call yourself a dirty old man ... you do have potential.
Click to expand...
something tells me you know all this from experience :lol:
 
lawlz

I rate this thread 10/10.
 
7 times in one day must make you so sore afterwards that even getting a hard on would be painful as hell...

"Spank Bank" that's a good one.
 
Plateau_Max said:
7 times in one day must make you so sore afterwards that even getting a hard on would be painful as hell...

"Spank Bank" that's a good one.
Click to expand...

man, I never made it pass #6. I guess I'm just not 17 anymore :(
 
You didn't wash your hands after wacking off, knowing that you were going to be eating a hands on buffet?
 
FishOrCutBait said:
Chrono Trigger is one of the best games ever.
Click to expand...

god it is. I downloaded a lot of the game's music this weekend, which is already great, but limewire is full of remixes of its songs and they're just freaking incredible.
Just try not to listen to this and cry
YouTube - PLAY! Concert - Chrono Trigger / Chrono Cross

I love this game so much it's likely it was Chrono Trigger I was thinking about 20 seconds before shaking her hand :spaz:
 
soxmuscle said:
You didn't wash your hands after wacking off, knowing that you were going to be eating a hands on buffet?
Click to expand...

I'm not sure, actually. I mean, I guess I usually wash my hands, but basically, I mean it was a Chinese buffet so, whatever was still on my hands was gonna be in my food anyway, why wash 'em? :lol:
 
Crono1000 said:
I'm not sure, actually. I mean, I guess I usually wash my hands, but basically, I mean it was a Chinese buffet so, whatever was still on my hands was gonna be in my food anyway, why wash 'em? :lol:
Click to expand...

Extra protein! A little cum never hurt in anybody :thumb:
 
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