some peeple (the anti-society thread)

[Cute Loops]

welcome to wiponet

....

my #1 rule of strangeness...

if ur an individual not afraid to express ur strangeforwardness, yoo will be attacked for it by a certain percentage of the population, it may lead yoo to feel a strong need to monitor ur surroundings, and its not really a state yoo wanna be in for long; reading the wind so to speak, and it can actually be quite unpleasant because the filtering system may not always perform well, and its easy to be lead astray into a state of paranioa..

.. but not for the majority of scentsations captured, yoo know damned well ur more-in-tune to whats underlying because ur asynchronous to the flow of proper society, therefore.. as an outsider.. ur freer to observe the actions and reactions produced within it.

....
....

- some peeple are surface-skimmers, they may see yoo on a dark day and judge from a slivered perspective. They judge because yoo didnt recognize a word on a menu and didnt feel the need to play it off...

"give me the turkey thing"

hmmmpt

be proud if u dont feel the need to learn, or even attempt, to speak some of these fancy words-maybe u have ur own fancy words. Maybe in the second it could take to simply say sandwhich instead of the fancy shit they offer designed to sell.. well.. a fucking sandwhich, yoo might decide it is more rub-worthy, more scent inducing to just say "thing", ya.. yoo know whats going on.

skimmer is the guy at the company luncheon who accepts ur handshake and reciprocates by handing yoo a limp noodle and a cast-away eye. The cultured fellow that stands and declares a love for classical music, but u know that if he ever had the balls to step in ur lair and get annoying yoo could destroy him with dirty animalistic fury.

 

[DOMS]

Excuse me, but it appears that your keyboard is throwing up all over this site.

 

[Cute Loops]

ide like to formally apologize with this handful of monkey shit

[SPLAT]

....

yesterday was a first for me, i got banned from my first web forum, a forum for technical certification information, guidance, and assistance

im testing for CCNA next friday, i hope i pass, ive studied my ass off and have spent alot of money on ebay trying to be the cisco kid, i gotta rack almost as big as my sisters now

anyway, to make a long story short, i had a difference of opinion with a moderator, someone was asking for advice on network simulators, the moderator suggested one, and i then said i didnt care for it, it was buggy

buggy, now that could also mean i dont know what the fuck im doing with the thing, and i have made plenty of mistakes configuring devices, i wiped out an entire config on one router and thought...

... 'gee what a bad boy am i, i better put that plum back in the pie'

but i did research, google is my friend, and there is plenty of documentation on issues with this sim

the moderator wanted me to back my claim, i provided links, some even had posts from the people who made the sim basically owning up to the bugs and promising fixes with the new release

the mod was owned, he knew it, and he deleted my posts, and his

that.. bugged me, i spent time on that reply, time i could have spent preparing coronas with lemon and lime, WTF

i callled him on his deletions, in public, fuck IMs

the other mods rallied in his behalf like fucking sheep closing ranks, its the one-mind-syndrome in action

that was last week, last night i decided to have some fun, and theres a forum there called "off-topic, anything and everything computer"

and so i posted some ASCII-nudes, straight outta Texterday

i wanted to see the motherfucker jump, and he did, with devil-horns

and the other mods fell on line, just like the plastic soldiers i used to play with as a boy, the ones i used to knock right back down with a rocket launcher i got free from a box of laundry soap

they said i was being inappropriate, but i stood my ground and basically told them too bad, its an open off-topic forum, its free speech, its ASCII-art, fuck off and die

the thread was deleted, and i am banned, it felt damned good, so good i went out and bought myself a bottle of the cheapest wine i could find to celebrate

oh, and by the way, im still clean, no pot in over a year, my marriage, my lungs, and my mind, are in so much better condition without that shit...

...fortunately, my sense of humour remains intact, and if anyone ever had a problem with my sense of humour, i would simply ask them to take a good look at the world around them, we are all fish that swim in a medium that resonates with lies, cruel jokes, and misguidance aimed squarely at riping heads, do you watch TV?, do your kids watch TV? thats good, but really too bad... shut the fuck up and worry about whats happening right under your snout right in your own home

....

let me tell ya a story

once upon a time i was 12 years old and was walking home from school with some friends of my sister

one of the girls threw a stick at a passing car, she hit the car, and the woman driving stopped and yelled at us

a couple minutes later her husband drove up, he was an off-duty policeman

i was the only male in the group, so he grabbed me, threw me against a tree, and slapped me upside the head, i started to cry for help, he slapped me again, my ear hurt

a man across the street yelled at him to stop, the off-duty policeman told the man to shut the fuck up and mind his business, the man across the street backed off, he was an old man

the off-duty policemans license plate was ROC-123, i still remember it to this day

a few weeks later my father called me outta class, and told me he was gonna leave a decision up to me, i had a choice

- 2 months suspension for the policeman without pay
- go after his career

i choose his career, and a few months later, his 20+ year career was over

a year later the ex-off-duty policeman walked into his garage, and blew his head off with a shotgun

and we all lived happily ever after, the end

 

[Cute Loops]

sounds cruel huh?, well ive had 30+ years to replay that story, those are not rash thoughts

theres actually a bit more to that story....

i was an angry young man, who lashed out in the wrong way, and ended up in jail, i was sitting in the city lockup, it was around 2am, a policeman walked up to my cell, he asked me if i knew who he was

i lied and said no

he was the brother of the headless pig

he said nothing else, just stared at me, then turned around to the window behind him, and stared out the window for a minute or so, he then turned back and stared at me for a few more seconds before walking away

a few minutes later i heard his voice again, i heard my last name being said, and then he began taunting me by loudly saying to another pig

"get the rope.... get the rope...."

i laughed, but only loud enough for me to hear

a few hours later they brought me a scrambled egg sandwhich with catsup and coffee, i didnt touch it

a little over a decade later, the headless pigs brother, who owned quite a few properties in the area, was sent to prison for burning down those properties for the insurance money

and then a few years after that one of the other pigs that was in the station that morning was put on a paid leave of absense, seems he had some instability and had issues with anger management while serving the publics interest

the next summer he was still on paid leave when some neighbor kids cut his garden hose, he used his service revolver, that he was allowed to keep, a service revolver loaded with black talons, to kill two teenagers, wound another, and almost shoot a woman sitting on her porch across the street having her coffee, he then put the gun to his chest and killed himself

it happened on elmwood street, the next day the Daily Sentinels headline said....

"Nightmare on Elmwood Street"

somewhere there is an editor, or two, that still needs a good hard slap across the face and to be reminded that real life is not Hollywood, like i said the medium is full of cruel jokes, i wonder if that headline helped to sell a few extra papers that day

....

if i believed in an afterlife, if i still believed what was stuffed into my head growing up, and if i believed in infinite torture, or even limbo, i would pity the headless pig, but i dont believe those things anymore, i prefer reality as i see it, over the fantasy other people prefer to cling to

its always children that seem to suffer the most from the actions of pigs, and a pig could be many things, a teacher, a preacher, a parent, a president even, and if a pig ever chooses to find peace by leaving the world that troubles them, then the world will have greater peace without them troubling it, more power to em, so long.. and have a nice nothing

 

[Cute Loops]

Let???s talk about "Great Guys"

"Great Guys" are critters that pat each other on the back and declare each other to be "Great Guys" doing "Great Jobs." They are nearly always found in a structured setting where they twist the rules of containment and proper behaviour in order to get their snouts into as many of those biscuits being thrown out to them as they possibly can.

Let me tell ya a story about a job I had about a year ago....

My immediate supervisor had the same degree, and the same aspirations as me. His name was Steven Suck-ass and we worked for a medium sized insurance company. He was basically a fat insecure asshole that got along well with the ladies at the office because they knew, and he knew as well, that he had no chance of ever getting any sex from them. I???m sure yoo've seen the type, Mr. No-sexual-tension-therefore-a-pseudo-ladies-man. Well, Mr. Steven Suck-ass was in love with the girl in the next cubicle, the girl he would never have, and I made the mistake one day of making her laugh all afternoon, as a matter of fact it was some rearranged lyrics to a Holy Zoo song that was one of the things I was singing to her that day.....

ELECTRICAL TAPE
ELECTRICAL TAPE
ELECTRICAL TAPE
YA FUCKIN' ELECTRICAL TAPE
WHY DONTCHA GIVE IT A TRY
YOU CAN WRAP IT ROUND UR EYES
YOU WONT FEEL NO PAIN
ITS GONNA INSULATE UR BRAIN!

That made her laugh so hard that a blood clot lodged in her nose (most likely from cocaine usage) from the previous weekend finally dislodged and went flying down to the carpet, it was gross yes... but she didn???t care because she was so grateful for the relief from cottonmouth

Later that day she said to me, as Mr. Steven Suck-ass listened over the wall within his witless world of envy....

"it???s a good thing you???re married"

And then she gave me the fuck-me eyes and walked away shaking her goods, ya let me tell yoo... that-girl-knew-how-to-walk, but im not biting, I wouldnt even consider cheating on my wife, she's the best that I have in my life.

And then Mr. Steven Suck-ass stood up, I looked at him over the wall, and he looked at me over the same wall, the anger and jealousy in his expression was very apparent

And that was the moment, I am sure, that my boss, Mr. Steven Suck-ass, decided to Information Starve me

From then on it was all a game, he gave the appearance of training me while actually hindering my growth in that position, he didn???t give me one fucking byte of information that he didn???t absolutely have to, it was all very sly and undercover.

Mr. Steven Suck-ass would at times say hello to me when passing in the hallway, and a couple of times there was a quick "hey whats up?" when pissing in the john, but i wouldnt give him acknowledgment, I wouldnt even look his way, and why should I?, starving me one minute and feeding me fake pleasantries the next, fuck that shit.

One day I got fed up with his game, I needed a list of numbers and he wasnt forthcoming with it, so I went to the Human Resources guy, I knew it wouldnt do any good but I laid it on the line anyway, Mr. Human Resources said....

"I don???t understand, Steve???s a Great Guy"

There???s those fucking words... "Great Guy", from that moment on I despise that expression

What???s happening here is Mr. Steven Suck-ass is Mr. Human Resources??? fink-boy, that???s how he does it; he is an information pipeline straight to Human Resources. Now enforcement of the company rules is one thing, but selective enforcement is something else, and as soon as Mr. Human Resources unprofessionally informed Steven Suck-ass of my visit to him, the rules were then selectively enforced upon me....

- Its no big deal if someone smokes on the back porch, unless it???s me
- Its no big deal if someone takes an extra few minutes for lunch, unless it???s me
- Its no big deal if someone utilizes the internet at work for a half hour, unless it???s me
- Its no big deal if someone takes 20 minutes to talk on the phone to their spouse, unless its me

Do yoo follow what I'm saying here, do yoo see what was happening?

My options were somewhat limited....

- I couldn???t go to my boss Mr. Steven Suck-ass, he's the problem
- I couldn???t go to Mr. Human Resources; he's another part of the problem
- I couldn???t go to the owner of the company, because that would only compound my problems with both Mr. Steven Suck-ass and Mr. Human Resources

- I could though, just choose to swallow and suck-ass as well

That will not happen; I will throw this job away before I suck Mr. Steven Suck-asses hind end.

About a month later I came in on Monday and noticed that someone had moved the address bar on my taskbar, Mr. Steven Suck-ass wanted to get rid of me so bad he came in on the weekend to make note of all my internet visits and shortcuts.

I'll guarantee that motherfucker at some point was going....

"What the fuck is Holy Zoo?"

My plan was then clear to me, and this is how I spent the remainder of the week

- I listened to Holy Zoo Milk n' Cookies, over and over until I knew it by heart
- I created a picture of a rabbit getting its nose wrapped up in electrical tape
- I cruised the internet most of the day gathering information on all the DOS 6.22 commands
- I practiced those DOS commands with the start-up floppy I brought in with me
- I searched for my next job

But most of all... I waited for that phone call from Human Resources asking me to come downstairs for a talk

It came the following Monday, an hour before quitting time, exactly as I expected

When I walked into the room Mr. Steven Suck-ass was already there, he reminded me in that moment of a puppy at Mr. Human Resources??? feet looking for another scrap from his desk, fucking pathetic

Mr. Human Resources pointed to the spreadsheet on his monitor that outlined my internet activity for the previous week, Mr. Steven Suck-ass had even color-coded everything on the sheet to produce maximum ass-suck effect.

Mr. Human Resources asked me....

"What is this?"

I said....

"The solution to your problem, and mine"

He thought I was being a wise-ass, he was correct

Mr. Human Resources then asked....

"What do you mean by that?"

I said....

"You people are looking to get rid of me because I???m not gonna suck the ass of this boss of mine who is determined to information starve me because of his insecurities, and you don???t care to address my problem because he's your company fink-boy"

I looked at Mr. Steven Suck-ass, he was staring straight ahead expressionless, he was undoubtedly thinking this....

"Yes, Yes, Bury yourself, YaYa.. Woo Hoo!!, Perfect oh I luv it!!"

I was not burying myself though; I was actually unburying myself in those moments

Mr. Human Resources then said to me....

"What is your problem?"

Perfect I thought, let me give these assholes the unbridled truth about my fucking problem, which is actually my advantage in many ways, so I can then watch them reject it because the fucking truth has no use for them in this world of ass-sucks, of "Great Guys", therefore it is meaningless to them, my truthful answer to his inquiry

I said basically this in so many words....

"I was raised in a home that did not allow for social interaction, because the man who raised me had things he needed to hide and feared I would tell others of the abuse that I, and my brother, and my sister, endured. And after we turned my father in for the abuse the system that should have protected us only worked for about 2 months, after that he just moved back in and no one checked up on us, the system failed us, and so I lashed back at the world that failed me and began to destroy the things that other teenagers had, the things that I could not have. Well sir... I thank God for prisons, because it was going to prison that actually set me free. I do not look at the world the way you peeple do, I do not react to the world the way you peeple do, and every year that goes by I thank God more and more for my non-socialization with a world that rewards peeple such as Mr. Steven Suck-ass here, so you may now lead Mr. Steven Suck-ass here to his trough and his reward, you peeple think you???re getting rid of me when the truth is I decided a week ago to get rid of you, now please show me the fucking door"

By the time I got half way through with that Mr. Human Resources was shaking his head at me, and Mr. Steven Suck-ass was still staring straight ahead expressionless. Mr. Human Resources asked an honest question, and I gave him the most honest answer I possibly could have given.

When I drove outta the parking lot that day I felt so fucking high, no drugs necessary, God was proud of me and his presence was so strong that I had to pull over and cry for joy on the way home, I felt so free and hopeful, I knew I was gonna be alright eventually, God knows I stray from time to time but he also welcomes me back every time I come home, and he is not going to let me down, he???s just gonna make me work a little harder before I find my place in his world, and this is... his world, not theirs, and no matter how much success these "Great Guys" may feel they acquire, their success, in Gods world, acquired by climbing over other animals in order to get to those biscuits and trough water, is all an illusion.

 

[bio-chem]

this really isnt going to work here. no one is going to read all of that from someone they dont know or care about. good luck in finding a site where you can ........ oh what the hell am i saying?

 

[DOMS]

Haven't you figured out who it is?

 

[Cute Loops]

hello...hello...hello...hello...hello...hello...hello...

WHATDAFUK...WHATDAFUK...WHATDAFUK...WHATDAFUK...WHATDAFUK...WHATDAFUK...WHATDAFUK...

Apple, MS, youre all evil empires..... every fucking one a ya

ya im picking up my first brand new apple in a few hours, im looking for a well balanced diet, and i know as soon as i take it home and cuddle it i will no longer be a loser or an arrogant asshole yelling at nobody and noone for nobody or noone, and as i rise above my assholianism i will morph into a moderator offering much more than just a good entertainment value for ur dollar

i think

anyway holyzoo, yoo owe me three bucks, ive been counting, somebody in australia owes me 2 bucks, and someone else in germany owes me a 3 bucks as well, theres a femi-nazi in finland that hates me though, she once sent me a pm calling me octo-repulse, he he.... keep ur money silly bitch, probably has some image of me hunched over a bottle and frothing at the mouth

perfect

........

got my CCNA on the 17th, took the misses out for red lobster and a trip to the casino that night, she deserves it, it isnt easy dealing with a spouse in study mode. I dont know about yoo'all but my wife has some kinda built-in radar that alerts her when im on the verge of grasping a concept and lets her know its time to come in here and let me know about the neighbors lawn drying up. Ya she put up with me being a prick a couple of times and certainly deserves plenty of attention now, no books or study until further notice from the queen, sounds good to me.

........

some lessons ive learned in the last couple years or so....

0. In the pusuit of IT dumasslessness dont forget, if need be, to sometimes put the book down, walk into the other room and just say 'love ya hon' and give her a nice kiss. Ya... it goes a long way.

1. First job i got after getting my 2 year programming degree that noone of course gave a rats-ass about was just a temp job, it lasted a year but i was really just a placeholder until some bigwig somewhere approved the new position, and when it was approved it got the privilege of applying for the job, which lead to my new task of training my replacement who already worked for the company. I actually learned two lessons from that job, dont get ur hopes up, and dont put down the network to anyone at all if ur just a dumbass IT temp, because the people who really have to deal with the system, wont like it.

2. Second job i got lasted exactly one day short of a year. I was called into my bosses bosses office, i remember thinking...

"wow this must be my years end evaluation, i wonder how much my raise will be?"

the truth was though, the server migrations were over, and so was i

in that job i learned something about system administrators....

...they can be very arrogant, theyre not like me at-all...

...but...

...after the first month or so i learned other things about them...

- they are under alot of pressure
- most of them, from what i could see, really know their shit, and it took years and years of study
- they get alot of dumb questions from dumbass IT techs, such as myself
- when they toss turds down hill at ya, throw some back up at em every chance ya get, they actually like being messed with, if done without disrespect, a good laugh can be much appreciated while under pressure

one sysadmin messed with me without mercy, i called him sysASSman, but only to my wife and friends, that guy did not let up until i started breaking his balls back, after i got laid-off i sent him an email thanking him for everything i learned from him during that year, they guy was alright i wish i could have had a beer with him, oh well

3. ok, now to the present, i started a new job this week, its only until December but hey its more experience for the resume, a step forward either way, its a local liberal arts college, they have a new campus-wide wireless network in place and anticipate some kinks may come into the picture, as well as alot of questions from non-connecting students and staff, they also anticipate macs breaking 50% for the first time, its a very selective school ya know, takes money to go to Hamilton yahuht, anyway my latest lesson was in never assuming the skill level of anyone who calls in for technical assistance....

an instuctor called in yesterday, she was sounding elderly, the first thoughts that came into my mind were....

- Windows
- Outlook/Outlook Express
- Internet Explorer
- what lesson shall i give this dumbass today?

after speaking to her a bit, and eating a bowl of mental crow, i find out...

- she was running running Linux Fedora, and has several PC's with multiple operating systems in her office
- shes using a web browser she developed herself almost a decade ago in VB
- shes getting her email on OAK

this lady was into IT when i was in 5th grade playing with the full size GI joes and thinking computers were just of flashing lights that talked to you in a sexy voice, actually at the time i didnt know it was sexy, i just knew it sounded cool

........

anyway thats what ive learned in the last couple years being an IT dumbass, and now im gonna have a beer, a saranac pomegranite wheat with a juggling bear on the cover, i dont drink to get drunk anymore, just to loosen up and feel good, the end result of another lesson i once learned a long time ago, in a fallacy far far away, i think it was called the 80's or something......

oh, what about the cheap wine you say?

its called entertainment, you fucking dumbass, better watch out... the zombies are coming ta getya

 

[BoneCrusher]

Fruit Loops = Blooming Lotion in The basket. Gotta be one and the same. Random selection cannot barf out the combination of dna needed to construct such a mentality in duplicate and then have fate guide that duplicative aberration to us in such rapid confluence. Surely the Gods would not hate us that much ...

 

[DOMS]

Fruit Loops = Blooming Lotion in The basket. Gotta be one and the same. Random selection cannot barf out the combination of dna needed to construct such a mentality in duplicate and then have fate guide that duplicative aberration to us in such rapid confluence. Surely the Gods would not hate us that much ...

Do you really think that Blooming Ass would do this? I've seen ForeskinRules do this before.

 

[FishOrCutBait]

Foreman, how have you been?

 

[BoneCrusher]

Do you really think that Blooming Ass would do this? I've seen ForeskinRules do this before.

I still say they are one and the same.

 

[DOMS]

I still say they are one and the same.

It wouldn't really surprise me.

After all this time and he's still fixated on this site. How pathetic is that?

 

[BoneCrusher]

It wouldn't really surprise me.

After all this time and he's still fixated on this site. How pathetic is that?

It's like this guy has no ability to develop a real life for himself.

 

[DOMS]

It's like this guy has no ability to develop a real life for himself.

He's 40 years old and is doing this shit. He's never going to have a life.

 

[BoneCrusher]

He's 40 years old and is doing this shit. He's never going to have a life.

What a

 

[bio-chem]

SOB i was suckered into thinking it was someone new. damnit im a gullible bastard sometimes. seriously though. can the appeal to return to a site you were banned from a long ass time ago still linger?

 

[DOMS]

SOB i was suckered into thinking it was someone new. damnit im a gullible bastard sometimes. seriously though. can the appeal to return to a site you were banned from a long ass time ago still linger?

He's actually a very cute, and hot, 18 year old girl.

Go get her, Tiger!

 

[BoneCrusher]

He's actually a very cute, and hot, 18 year old girl.

Go get her, Tiger!

Some of the threads are funny though. The brick layer threads is anyway ...

 

[DOMS]

Some of the threads are funny though. The brick layer threads is anyway ...

I like the Civil Engineering thread.

 

[BoneCrusher]

George Carlin strikes again!

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the
Tennessee Titans ?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one
enjoys it?

There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the
Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor
store or at Hooters.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does
he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
called Holes?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two
cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread
to begin with?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who
drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for
their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons
and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are
we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while
they deliver the mail?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went
nuts.

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

 

[tallcall]

The world can now rejoice, He/She/It is back!

The writing is too clear to be Blooming Lotus, and I don't know Foreman very well, so I'd say welcome back whomever you were!

 

[I Are Baboon]

The writer has been excused from the site until the cock hobbit registers a new name.

 

[KelJu]

Haven't you figured out who it is?

Its foreman!

 

[BoneCrusher]

cock hobbit