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the effed up joke thread =)
- Thread starter iMan323
- Start date
Q:What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
katt
Registered
Q. Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
A. Cause he was caught with seaweed.
A. Cause he was caught with seaweed.
the other half
Registered
whats worse than paper tits?
a cardboard box.
why do all polish last names end in "ski"?
because they cant spell taboggan
a cardboard box.
why do all polish last names end in "ski"?
because they cant spell taboggan
depends on how fucked up in the head you are
funNy
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Lol okay, i have some.
Q. What did the battered wife do when she got home from the hospital?
A. Wash the dishes if she knows whats good for her.
Q. Whats easier, loading a truck full of babies or bowling balls and why?
A. The babies cause you can use a pitchfork.
Q. What did the battered wife do when she got home from the hospital?
A. Wash the dishes if she knows whats good for her.
Q. Whats easier, loading a truck full of babies or bowling balls and why?
A. The babies cause you can use a pitchfork.
the other half
Registered
thanks bone, i will never be able to look at a young mother with an infant child the same agian!!!!!!!
Daughter: Dad I want to have a talk with you about sex, is it as big a deal as everyone says?
Father: You aren't ready for that, what did you want to know?
Daughter: My boyfriend Tommy said if I dont have sex wih him he'll leave me.
Father: Then he isn't worth your time.
Daughter: Tommy says he doesn't want to "DO IT" just so he can brag... He wants to experiment, to see what it feels like.
Father: Well then, bring him over to the house Friday night and I'll fuck him.
Father: You aren't ready for that, what did you want to know?
Daughter: My boyfriend Tommy said if I dont have sex wih him he'll leave me.
Father: Then he isn't worth your time.
Daughter: Tommy says he doesn't want to "DO IT" just so he can brag... He wants to experiment, to see what it feels like.
Father: Well then, bring him over to the house Friday night and I'll fuck him.
effed up isn't it?thanks bone, i will never be able to look at a young mother with an infant child the same agian!!!!!!!
MickeyWard
Registered
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
Richie1888
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a man phones his boss and says
"i wont be in today im sick"
his boss replies
"How sick ?"
man says
"well im in bed with my sister"
"i wont be in today im sick"
his boss replies
"How sick ?"
man says
"well im in bed with my sister"
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A redneck's daughter walks up to him and asks him to borrow the pick up for the evening.
"well you know what to do," says the man.
the daughter drops to her knees and starts sucking him off. After a couple of seconds, she stops and asks, why does you dick taste like shit?
"Oh! I completely forgot, your brother has the car tonight!"
"well you know what to do," says the man.
the daughter drops to her knees and starts sucking him off. After a couple of seconds, she stops and asks, why does you dick taste like shit?
"Oh! I completely forgot, your brother has the car tonight!"
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How do you know when it's bedtime at Micheal Jackson's house?
When the big hand is on the little hand.
When the big hand is on the little hand.
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Did you hear that Micheal Jackson and Elton John are producing a song together?
It's call Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me.
It's call Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me.
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Q)What do you call a room full of women, , half with yeast infections,half with PMS?
A) A cheese and whine party.
What's the definition of a perfect woman?
a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it.
b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.
c) The economy model fucks all night and, at midnight, turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken
A) A cheese and whine party.
What's the definition of a perfect woman?
a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it.
b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.
c) The economy model fucks all night and, at midnight, turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken
I will apologize in advance for the offensive humor...
Whats similar with a screen door and a women?
The more you bang them the loser they get
FOR DOMS...
How do you keep a black man from hanging around your front yard.
Hang him in the back
How do you get a black man out of a tree?
cut the rope
Whats the difference between hitting a deer and hitting a Mexican.
There are skid marks in front of the deer.
how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon?
2 in front, 2 in back and 350 in the ashtray
what do you get when you cross an elaphant with a poodle?
a dead poodle with an 18inch asshole
What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
you know she will swallow
Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?
Who cares
How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Why are there so many homes for battered women? Because they just don't fucking listen!!
Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So you can tell them apart from feminists
A girl is watching her father shower. She points to his penis and says, "Daddy, when will I get one of those?" He looks at his watch and says, "When your mother leaves for work!"
Whats similar with a screen door and a women?
The more you bang them the loser they get
FOR DOMS...
How do you keep a black man from hanging around your front yard.
Hang him in the back
How do you get a black man out of a tree?
cut the rope
Whats the difference between hitting a deer and hitting a Mexican.
There are skid marks in front of the deer.
how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon?
2 in front, 2 in back and 350 in the ashtray
what do you get when you cross an elaphant with a poodle?
a dead poodle with an 18inch asshole
What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
you know she will swallow
Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?
Who cares
How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Why are there so many homes for battered women? Because they just don't fucking listen!!
Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So you can tell them apart from feminists
A girl is watching her father shower. She points to his penis and says, "Daddy, when will I get one of those?" He looks at his watch and says, "When your mother leaves for work!"
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Wow! Just ....wow! That is so disturbing!
