Worst Sexual Experience ever

[david]

I must have missed Eric's 2nd story that about "Clicker". OMG that is sooo funny! I hope I never have sex with a woman who can accomodate sizes like Hellman's , baseball bats. Hey Eric, try sticking your head in her, that should be big enough. No, I mean your head that has hair, eyes and nose!!!!! LOL!!!!!

 

[ALBOB]

Originally posted by davidjasondean Hey Eric, try sticking your head in her, that should be big enough. No, I mean your head that has hair, eyes and nose!!!!! LOL!!!!!

NOOOO!!!!! Heaven forbid, if she liked it the poor guy could drown!!! Hmmmm..............that gives me an idea for another thread. Look in Open Chat for one about tattoos.

 

[david]

Uh oh! Albob, what are you up to?

J'bo- LOL!

 

[w8lifter]

Originally posted by davidjasondean
Hey Eric, try sticking your head in her, that should be big enough. No, I mean your head that has hair, eyes and nose!!!!! LOL!!!!!

OMG...kuso...I'm dying! ROTF!

 

[kuso]

Originally posted by w8lifter



OMG...kuso...I'm dying! ROTF!

I thought of the exact same thing

 

[ericg753]

We could stick all our heads, hands, feet, quads, backs, chests, bis, tris, traps, delts, hams, forearms, abs and calves in there, and we could STILL do jumping jacks!!!

 

[david]

no, we leave that all for you! I don't need a stank bath or smell like I just cleaned fish! I'd rather chase a skunk around then go 10 feet from "The Clicker"

Tell us another version Eric... your quite amusing!

 

[ericg753]

There are no more stories of the Clicker, since that last time was THE last time! I heard she married and has a barrel full of kids now....

 

[david]

I bet she had no problem delivering those babies. She could probably have triplets and still eat an ice cream cone at the same time watching the boob tube! The doctors probably said, "amazing" for two reasons:

1) "She barely felt it"
2) What the f*ck is that smell?



PS. Time to find yourself a new clicker!

 

[Ironguy]

So there I was...

SO there I was, eating out my girlfriend Janey, when her sister walks into her bedroom (we were in high school - a long time ago). No one was supposed to be home. She yelled, "I'm gonna tell Mom!

Now understand tha Janey was foxy and her sister was NOT (although she wasn't terrible to look at or anything)! Her sister was also a year older and never had a boyfriend.

We pleaded with her not to tell and she relented. Whew!

Two days later I'm at their house waiting for Janey to get home from piano lessons. Her Mom comes up behind me, real close, reaches around and starts massaging me in THAT place! SHe said, "I know what you've been doing."

Fortunately, Janey AND HER DAD, came home at nearly the same time or I would've been in a pickle. Janey took after her Mom in that her Mom was pretty hot looking - great figure, good size boobs, great butt.

I still wonder what would've happened...

One further thing... I ended up working with Janey's sister during the summer and would give her a ride home. Janey and I had a fight, so I hit on her sister! We parked up the street from her house and sucked and stuff - no sex but everything else. Then she tells me that she only did it because she hates her sister...

worked for me!

 

[TheIcon2]

Re: So there I was...

Originally posted by Ironguy
SO there I was, eating out my girlfriend Janey, when her sister walks into her bedroom (we were in high school - a long time ago). No one was supposed to be home. She yelled, "I'm gonna tell Mom!

Now understand tha Janey was foxy and her sister was NOT (although she wasn't terrible to look at or anything)! Her sister was also a year older and never had a boyfriend.

We pleaded with her not to tell and she relented. Whew!

Two days later I'm at their house waiting for Janey to get home from piano lessons. Her Mom comes up behind me, real close, reaches around and starts massaging me in THAT place! SHe said, "I know what you've been doing."

Fortunately, Janey AND HER DAD, came home at nearly the same time or I would've been in a pickle. Janey took after her Mom in that her Mom was pretty hot looking - great figure, good size boobs, great butt.

I still wonder what would've happened...

One further thing... I ended up working with Janey's sister during the summer and would give her a ride home. Janey and I had a fight, so I hit on her sister! We parked up the street from her house and sucked and stuff - no sex but everything else. Then she tells me that she only did it because she hates her sister...

worked for me!

And whats makes this the worst sexual experience???? OOOh I know. It never happened.

 

[david]

Re: So there I was...

Originally posted by Ironguy
SO there I was, eating out my girlfriend Janey, when her sister walks into her bedroom (we were in high school - a long time ago). No one was supposed to be home. She yelled, "I'm gonna tell Mom!

Now understand tha Janey was foxy and her sister was NOT (although she wasn't terrible to look at or anything)! Her sister was also a year older and never had a boyfriend.

We pleaded with her not to tell and she relented. Whew!

Two days later I'm at their house waiting for Janey to get home from piano lessons. Her Mom comes up behind me, real close, reaches around and starts massaging me in THAT place! SHe said, "I know what you've been doing."

Fortunately, Janey AND HER DAD, came home at nearly the same time or I would've been in a pickle. Janey took after her Mom in that her Mom was pretty hot looking - great figure, good size boobs, great butt.

I still wonder what would've happened...

One further thing... I ended up working with Janey's sister during the summer and would give her a ride home. Janey and I had a fight, so I hit on her sister! We parked up the street from her house and sucked and stuff - no sex but everything else. Then she tells me that she only did it because she hates her sister...

worked for me!

I would've done them all! Just kidding! It would've been "Slaughterhouse 5"!

 

[machinehead022]

How about a girl bursting in to tears cring for hours becuase they thought they weren't good enough. Nothing is worse than a girl cring

 

[david]

Originally posted by machinehead022
How about a girl bursting in to tears cring for hours becuase they thought they weren't good enough. Nothing is worse than a girl cring

Yikkessss! Did you give her a second chance? J/K. Yeah, that can be bad. Because if she was really awesome you'd never see her again! Was she a virgin? Strange?

 

[bubbasr]

My worst was when I was 19. I had been dating this little hottie 5'1" dark brown hair and brown eyes Woo! Hoo! We went out on a date and ended up in the park around dusk so we pulled over on the grass to fool around. We jumped in the back seat and things became hott and heavy. We had taken our clothes off and I was on top of her having a good old time. All of a sudden there was lights shining in the car at us and somone saying what is going on in there. I started yelling to shut off the flashlights and let her put her clothes on. They turned out the flashlights and we put on our clothes,I rolled down the window to look face to face with park rangers. The rangers asked for Id's that we gave them, they checked the ages and found we both were over 18 years old. They told us that after dark you couldn't park on the lawn and let us go. Now that is embarrising !!!!

 

[Trap-isaurus]

A party alot of beer and a pretty easy girl make for a good time on the hood of my buddys car, a little oral for both of us and we dove right into the bump and grind about 15 minutes in she says "oooh you feel so good, i want you to f*^k my ass" (language, my apologies but it does the story justice) she had half mumbeld this and me, concentrating on other matters was sure I had misunderstood, I replied "what did you say??" she says "I want you to f*^k me in the ass" "ohh f*^k my ass" getting louder and louder, screaming this outside of the house we were partying at, needless to say the door opened and saved me as we had to stop because everyone was coming out to see who the hell was screaming. It was the way she said it i guess that really, really made me sick and the fact that she was yelling it, I was known as the "ass Jockey" for quite some time.

 

[Burner02]

ass jockey?!?
Damn, bubba-that' kind of nick name can follow a guy for some time........

ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..

....oops, that slipped.


j/k!

 

[kuso]

ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..

 

[ALBOB]

Originally posted by BjUaFyF I was known as the "ass Jockey" for quite some time.

Looks like Cornfed is history and you've just become Irontime's new best friend.

 

[irontime]

Wha??.. You slime eating bastard
DIE!!!!!!

 

[Trap-isaurus]

Originally posted by irontime
Wha??.. You slime eating bastard
DIE!!!!!!

I must concur with IT and second that emotion!!!!

 

[Trap-isaurus]

Originally posted by Burner02
ass jockey?!?
Damn, bubba-that' kind of nick name can follow a guy for some time........

ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..

....oops, that slipped.


j/k!

 

[Trap-isaurus]

Originally posted by kuso


ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..
ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..ass jockey..

 

[Trap-isaurus]

Both a couple of Bastards

 

[kuso]

ass jockey!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Trap-isaurus]

Originally posted by kuso
ass jockey!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Kuso you certainly are a persistant little genital wart aren't ya.

 

[kuso]

Not having had them, I don@t know the usual lifespan of a genital wart so have nothing to compare myself with You seem to know though.....

 

[Trap-isaurus]

Thats what ya get from a two dollar whore........im sorry i shouldn't talk about your mom like that

 

[Trap-isaurus]

Lets save it for the threads we got going eh, Im feeling kinda guilty for overrunning the board with our insults back and forth

 

[ALBOB]

Originally posted by BjUaFyF Im feeling kinda guilty for overrunning the board with our insults back and forth

You're feeling guilty about insulting Kuso? Dude, that's one affliction you need to get over.......QUICK!