- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Messages
- 4,213
- Reaction score
- 8
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- Age
- 40
I made a goal for myself over the past month or two of training to lean out as much as i can over the summer and ultimately see my abs for the first time in my life. At first i took it nice and easy trying to recomp somewhat as i was at about 207-210lbs on any given day. I lost a couple of lbs here and there but was gaining strength and felt myself 'filling out' better. Recently though i noticed it wasn't working fast enough and figured my time would be better spent just doing one thing then the other, so i down shifted my diet and picked up the RPM's on cutting. Yesterday morning i jumped on the scale and was 199.5lbs, first time i was under 200lbs in probably 3 years or more. Kinda freaked me out a bit and i instantly got this "i'm getting too small" though/feeling.
I did some psychoanalyzing and realized i tend to do this every time i set a goal for myself. I'll want to cut then drop to a certain point, get scared and start gaining weight. Its why i believe i have yet to ever see my abs in my life, i'm just too paranoid of getting too small. I love being a 'big guy.' Even though i was never lean, when i was around 230lbs i felt great because i was 'big and husky.' I look pretty lean now and people give me complements all the time but i don't look 'big' anymore, just muscular/athletic or w/e. Just had to rant a little bit about my demented psyche and too see if anyone else is like that?
I did some psychoanalyzing and realized i tend to do this every time i set a goal for myself. I'll want to cut then drop to a certain point, get scared and start gaining weight. Its why i believe i have yet to ever see my abs in my life, i'm just too paranoid of getting too small. I love being a 'big guy.' Even though i was never lean, when i was around 230lbs i felt great because i was 'big and husky.' I look pretty lean now and people give me complements all the time but i don't look 'big' anymore, just muscular/athletic or w/e. Just had to rant a little bit about my demented psyche and too see if anyone else is like that?