Blonde

[Gena Marie]

A Blond Bombshell buys the new Automatic BMW X8 sport.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but
at night the car just won't move at all.
She tries driving the car at night for a week but
still no luck.She then furiously calls the
BMW dealers and they send out a technician to her.
The technician asks "Miss, are you sure you are
using the right gears?"
Full of anger, she replies "You fool, idiot man, how you
could ask such a question, I'm not stupid!
I use 'D' for the Day, and 'N' for the Night..."



Yes this is my way of thinking at times....

 

[IronAddict]

lol And to light up the room after making mad passionate love, she simply opens the car door.

 

[maniclion]

My mom had to borrow my dads manual truck one day when her automatic was in the shop. She'd driven them before, but hadn't in a long time, so she knew how to ease out on the clutch and get going in first. What she forgot was she had to shift into higher gears as she picked up speed. This was when we lived in a small town and my dad started getting calls from his friends saying they saw his wife trying to blow his engine up, and asking what he did to her to make her want to do such a thing to his truck. He ran up the road to borrow my uncles car and drove to the last spot he got a call from and then about a mile down the road he caught up to my mom driving at about 30mph, engine screaming and told her to pull over, she had been driving in first gear everywhere with the engine roaring like hell. He asked her why she didn't shift and she said "Oh. I forgot it doesn't shift for me, I just thought you had put a hotrod engine in and thats why it was so loud..." This is the same woman who had been told at one time the the E-meant Enough and the F-meant Fill, she never put in her own gas and always went to the Full Service Station, she'd drive until the tank got to 3/4 full and think it was almost time to Fill again and go right back to the gas station. Until one day she hadn't been paying attention and it got to E while she was 60 miles from home and ran out of gas. My dad asked her if she had gas and she said it had, so he thought something else was wrong, he took off early from work and drove all the way out there to find out she was out of gas and had, get this, coasted into a gas station parking lot. My mom is a Strawberry Blonde....

 

[NVRBDR]

Lmao

 

[Gissurjon]

My mom had to borrow my dads manual truck one day when her automatic was in the shop. She'd driven them before, but hadn't in a long time, so she knew how to ease out on the clutch and get going in first. What she forgot was she had to shift into higher gears as she picked up speed. This was when we lived in a small town and my dad started getting calls from his friends saying they saw his wife trying to blow his engine up, and asking what he did to her to make her want to do such a thing to his truck. He ran up the road to borrow my uncles car and drove to the last spot he got a call from and then about a mile down the road he caught up to my mom driving at about 30mph, engine screaming and told her to pull over, she had been driving in first gear everywhere with the engine roaring like hell. He asked her why she didn't shift and she said "Oh. I forgot it doesn't shift for me, I just thought you had put a hotrod engine in and thats why it was so loud..." This is the same woman who had been told at one time the the E-meant Enough and the F-meant Fill, she never put in her own gas and always went to the Full Service Station, she'd drive until the tank got to 3/4 full and think it was almost time to Fill again and go right back to the gas station. Until one day she hadn't been paying attention and it got to E while she was 60 miles from home and ran out of gas. My dad asked her if she had gas and she said it had, so he thought something else was wrong, he took off early from work and drove all the way out there to find out she was out of gas and had, get this, coasted into a gas station parking lot. My mom is a Strawberry Blonde....

how does she make it through the day?

 

[Gena Marie]

My mom had to borrow my dads manual truck one day when her automatic was in the shop. She'd driven them before, but hadn't in a long time, so she knew how to ease out on the clutch and get going in first. What she forgot was she had to shift into higher gears as she picked up speed. This was when we lived in a small town and my dad started getting calls from his friends saying they saw his wife trying to blow his engine up, and asking what he did to her to make her want to do such a thing to his truck. He ran up the road to borrow my uncles car and drove to the last spot he got a call from and then about a mile down the road he caught up to my mom driving at about 30mph, engine screaming and told her to pull over, she had been driving in first gear everywhere with the engine roaring like hell. He asked her why she didn't shift and she said "Oh. I forgot it doesn't shift for me, I just thought you had put a hotrod engine in and thats why it was so loud..." This is the same woman who had been told at one time the the E-meant Enough and the F-meant Fill, she never put in her own gas and always went to the Full Service Station, she'd drive until the tank got to 3/4 full and think it was almost time to Fill again and go right back to the gas station. Until one day she hadn't been paying attention and it got to E while she was 60 miles from home and ran out of gas. My dad asked her if she had gas and she said it had, so he thought something else was wrong, he took off early from work and drove all the way out there to find out she was out of gas and had, get this, coasted into a gas station parking lot. My mom is a Strawberry Blonde....

That is awesome. Gotta love mom

 

[maniclion]

how does she make it through the day?

Oh she wised up really fast that cute wasn't going to get her through life, she was very pretty when she was younger to the point she dropped out of 9th grade because she thought she'd be able to just mooch off of guys her whole life. When she met my dad he put her to work after a few years because she was shopping too much. Then they divorced and she met a rich man, he was murdered after 15 years of marriage and she found out quick that landing another rich man in her 40's wasn;t going to happen. That's when she suddenly grew a brain and became a bail bonds woman. Now she's pretty tough and hardened around the edges, a little more street smart and independent.

 

[Gissurjon]

Oh she wised up really fast that cute wasn't going to get her through life, she was very pretty when she was younger to the point she dropped out of 9th grade because she thought she'd be able to just mooch off of guys her whole life. When she met my dad he put her to work after a few years because she was shopping too much. Then they divorced and she met a rich man, he was murdered after 15 years of marriage and she found out quick that landing another rich man in her 40's wasn;t going to happen. That's when she suddenly grew a brain and became a bail bonds woman. Now she's pretty tough and hardened around the edges, a little more street smart and independent.

If this isn't a script for a Lifetime movie, I don't know what is. Just add a couple of twists and it'll be good to go. She killed the rich guy only to find out he had her sign a prenup but had drugged her so she didn't remember and when he dies she gets nothing. Then she searches around the local bars for a new rich man all while she sinks deep into depression and self-loathing and the only thing that can save her is to become a bounty hunter, hunting down criminals such as she used to be. Add a couple of scenes featuring a burned out playmate and a donkey and it's a wrap.

 

[EARL]

Digressing a bit, but just have to say I don't watch American Idol.

But caught a glimpse of this mega-hottie and became mesmerized.

And she is blonde so its sort of on topic.....thread topic at least.

Hollie Cavanagh



YES PLEASE !! I'll TAKE IT.

 

[Gena Marie]

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino.
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
And with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled,
"Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!"
She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, ..... but all men...are men!

Global Facts About Sex

At any given moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old fart is reading emails.

You hang in there, sunshine!

 

[Chainz]

Sooo Beautiful.

 

[Ezskanken]

Loving the blonde jokes! Thanks for posting Gena.

 

[Curt James]

an attractive blonde from cork, ireland, arrived at the casino.
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said, "i hope you don't mind, but i feel much luckier when i'm completely nude."
and with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an irish brogue yelled,
"come on, baby, mama needs new clothes!"

as the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "yes! Yes! I won, i won!"
she hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "what did she roll?" the other answered, "i don't know - i thought you were watching."

moral of the story

not all irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, ..... But all men...are men!

Global facts about sex

at any given moment:

Fact: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
Fact: 58,000,000 are kissing.
Fact: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
fact: 1 old fart is reading emails.

you hang in there, sunshine!

GDI!

 

[syed2011]

When does the Blonde change ?

 

[Iron8]

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino.
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
And with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled,
"Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!"
She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, ..... but all men...are men!

Global Facts About Sex

At any given moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old fart is reading emails.

You hang in there, sunshine!

LOL

I actually did laugh pretty good at that one.