Originally posted by ksiebert
Is sex hard to come by once you're married?
Based solely on my experience (28 years old, married 8 years):
It's easy to get in a rut where there just isn't time for sex and neither of you are trying to initiate anything. When dating, you probably get some time apart, so a rut that you're in, is easily broken by the other person. When married, you're both in the SAME RUT!! Biggest thing that you can do is identify what's going on and agree to make a conscience effort to make time for sex.
Feeling good about yourself is a big one for my wife and I. When either of us feels crappy because of not getting to the gym for a few months or poor diet , our sex life dies. Just after getting married, my wife gained a few pounds and we became "lights out, under the covers only" type of people. When she feels good about herself, she becomes the sexiest woman I have ever met. Willing to leave the lights on and do anything.
I do have to say that there can be bonuses with long term sexual relationships. You become so comfortable (not bored) with each other that you may eventually explore things that were out of the question years before. I can summarize all of this in one experience. When first dating/married, my wife seldom let me go down on her. She now says it was too uncomfortable for her to not know what I was thinking or looking at. After a few years of marriage (she has become much fitter and felt better about herself), she slowly allowed me to go down more frequently. Finally after years of marriage, she relaxed enough to actually enjoy what I was doing. She exploded with her first ever orgasm!!!! Since then, she wants me down on her all the time. She cums several times per session and our love life is the best ever. It still happens in streaks though. Very little action for a few weeks, then I have to drag my weary, hard ridden ass to work everyday for the next couple of weeks.
Sorry to be so long, I just see too many friends bash their marriages, yet they have unreal expectations or are unwilling to really work for it.