Gym Idiot Sightings 2007

[slip]

I politely kick people off the equipment if they try and pull that shit, usually by making them look like a dick.

All the bench presses were getting used by 3 guys training together the other day, and all had extremely similar weights. Wankers. I waited about 10seconds before booting them all onto 1.

 

[motiv8ed]

People that gawk and follow you around.

I totally hear it... happens to me _all_ the time

 

[JonnyStead]

The joy of having my own gym - I dont know what I'd do without it!

 

[fatmuscles]

what is it with groups, in my gym theres the occasional ones in the afternoon when i go, but mainly at night, these guys come in and sit on benches infront of the dombell rack, or stand in the cable cross overs, or in the the squat rack, or main benches for bench press, and chat to there mates, they dont even do anything, just sit there chatting, like get it done and psss offfffffff, stop taking the urine by sitting chatting to mates, and taking up valuable equitment, specialy when im waiting to get on the dam thing,

 

[juggernaut]

guy at the gym does arms everyday-everyday! I laugh my ass off. He wears sleeveless tshirts-the faggiest colors, and wears this thing around his neck that jiggles every time he talks (which is so much). oh and he uses a beach towel to wipe himself off after he does his double bicep pose in front of everyone screaming.
Sorry for bumping the thread

 

[JerseyDevil]

Father and son walks into the gym. Kid was about 15. They go to the flat bench and load up the bar with 65 lbs.

The kid gets on the bench, dad fixes his hands on the bar and proceeds to yell "LIFT OFF". The bar lowers and sinks about 1-1/2" into his chest and dad, with all his might, pulls it up. They go on to do many more "reps", on everyone dad yells "IT'S ALL YOU, IT'S ALL YOU". Once done, the kid asks his dad "how many did I do?". Dad replies "12 solid reps son".

OMG, wasn't sure whether to laugh or smack the dad upside the head...

 

[juggernaut]

OMG, wasn't sure whether to laugh or smack the dad upside the head...

i'd opt for the second choice

 

[MeatZatk]

I saw a guy doing power cleans today...with an EZ curl bar.

 

[Hialeahchico]

Originally Posted by MeatZatk
I saw a guy doing power cleans today...with an EZ curl bar.

thats amazing

 

[squanto]

The other day I wanted to use this wooden box to do step-ups on. Some people use it for step-ups, others for box squats, etc etc.

There was a group of 5 guys, pretty scrawny and funny lookin. So they pick up the box as I'm working on a set of deadlifts, and I figure they'll be done quick, so I don't worry about it.

They lay an olympic bar on the box, and proceed to pick it up and hold it for as long as possible before dropping it. They pass it around the 5 of them. OK. kinda weird. Why do they need to put the barbell on the box? I don't know. But whatever. They'll be done soon.

20 minutes. They're still doing it.

10 minutes. I'm done with my workout, want to do some step-ups. They're still using the box.

15 minutes. WTF. They're still using the fucking box to do their little holdy exercise. I wanted to kill them. They finally finished up and I did my exercise and got out of there.

Why do you need a box to put a bar with 10 pounds of weight on? WHY ARE U DOING LITTLE BAR HOLDY EXERCISE FOR 45 MINUTES WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. PICK THE BAR UP OFF THE FUCKING GROUND U STUPID COMPUTER TANNED RETARDMONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't use my box again. I will slice your throat open.

Sorry I had been holding this in for 2 weeks was just waiting for this thread to come back around.....

 

[DanK]

I saw a guy doing power cleans today...with an EZ curl bar.

I'm guilty of this one, it's a space issue, I work out at home in my apartment, I barely have room to do deads using the olympic bar, the ez curl takes much less space, doing heavy weight with the ez-curl might not work well but for light weights it works pretty good (it isn't real pleasant on the padding of your hands though). It's really more of a deadlift to military press than a power clean though...

 

[fufu]

The other day I wanted to use this wooden box to do step-ups on. Some people use it for step-ups, others for box squats, etc etc.

There was a group of 5 guys, pretty scrawny and funny lookin. So they pick up the box as I'm working on a set of deadlifts, and I figure they'll be done quick, so I don't worry about it.

They lay an olympic bar on the box, and proceed to pick it up and hold it for as long as possible before dropping it. They pass it around the 5 of them. OK. kinda weird. Why do they need to put the barbell on the box? I don't know. But whatever. They'll be done soon.

20 minutes. They're still doing it.

10 minutes. I'm done with my workout, want to do some step-ups. They're still using the box.

15 minutes. WTF. They're still using the fucking box to do their little holdy exercise. I wanted to kill them. They finally finished up and I did my exercise and got out of there.

Why do you need a box to put a bar with 10 pounds of weight on? WHY ARE U DOING LITTLE BAR HOLDY EXERCISE FOR 45 MINUTES WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. PICK THE BAR UP OFF THE FUCKING GROUND U STUPID COMPUTER TANNED RETARDMONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't use my box again. I will slice your throat open.

Sorry I had been holding this in for 2 weeks was just waiting for this thread to come back around.....

 

[juggernaut]

stupid computer tanned retardmonkey? Geez man-wheres your sense of humanity?
You shouldve just hit them over the head with a 45 lb plate

 

[Valias]

I saw a guy at the shops whom frequents my gym, you know the kind of people, so it's a nod "how are you going" and yeah i asked him what he had planned for the night (it was friday). He said "yeah doing some back" so his mind must be pretty well on the gym, he also bought a large container of "chocolate hazelnut spread" kind of like nutella but cheaper and was proceeding to tell me how it's good for putting on weight.

 

[spangdangler]

Small and Frail...but Mouthy!

I had to search out this thread after a pure anger workout session yesterday.

So, I'm not at my regular gym. I took my fam to the YMCA to let them go to open swim while I use the small little weight room that they have there. It's leg day. A couple of kids, maybe early 20's late teens, are in there talking UFC and how tuff they are and this and that. So I walk in and proceed to warm up on leg presses. Now, I'm a vertically small man, 5'5" and about 200Lbs. I'm obviously a man who weight trains and can move poundage's above your average Joe. I warm up and rep out with 7 plates on a side. Not too heavy just enough to get the blood flowing in the knees. This is when the comments start. I hear the little punks talking about how much so and so can do. I proceed to move on to squats which I only go up to 315, deep ...rear to floor...feeling ever rep type. I'm thinking to myself "I'm not here to max out , so stop listening to these punks and don't give in to egoic behavior".

Anyway, long story short I wanted so much to grab these kids and body slam them to the floor. I don't get it. I would have never disrespected an adult in that manner especially when he was at least twice my size. I'm still trying to reason it out in my head. Were they rippin' on me cause...I wasn't doing 5plate 495 pound squats? Why did that make them feel better about themselves? Can anyone rationalize this out? Should I have talked some smack back at there small skinny azzes?

 

[ti6ko]

One friend: I am doing pull ups for chest!
I : There isn't pull ups for chest ?!?!
One friend: I don't do them correctly!
I : So how DO YOU DO them?
One friend: When u go up u must squeeze your chest
I : U r an idiot.

And he still is trying to teach me the "right" technique to do pull ups..

 

[yeksetm]

So I have my gym set up in my garage, I layed down one ground rule with my wife " never fucken interupt me when im in there". Like most wives she don't listen to me!!! If its not bringing my cell phone out to me when someone has called (thats why I leave it inside women) its coming in and saying "wanna shag!!!" Christ we've been together 9 years, of course I don't!! (I think im gay!!!).

Im actually considering buying a gym membership just so I don't get interrupted by her!!!

 

[tucker01]

Just work the banging into the routine... kinda circuit training. Get with it.

 

[yeksetm]

Your totally right!!! Would it be considered HIT? Giggidy giggidy!

 

[SJ69]

So I have my gym set up in my garage, I layed down one ground rule with my wife " never fucken interupt me when im in there". Like most wives she don't listen to me!!! If its not bringing my cell phone out to me when someone has called (thats why I leave it inside women) its coming in and saying "wanna shag!!!" Christ we've been together 9 years, of course I don't!! (I think im gay!!!).

Im actually considering buying a gym membership just so I don't get interrupted by her!!!

Same problem, I have to sneak home from work early, before she gets home and before I pick up the kids to get a workout in. She usually doesn't interrupt me (only about 20% of the time), the problem is she has so much shyt planned for me to do I can't make it in to the basement to even begin my damn workout. I used to wait till everyone went to bed, but I just don't have the energy levels at 11:00 PM anymore (even w/ ephedrine)

 

[Cane]

Ok, this one really pissess me off: the old fat man that blowdries his balls right under the ONLY hand dryer. I dont even know why the FAT fucker even tries, his stomach stops all the hot air from drying his balls

members like this should be

 

[T_man]

After a hard workout
beat up yourself pretty bad because it was squats and deadlifts day
treat yourself with that once a week sauna

and some fat 80 year old fat fuck who forgot his zimmerframe and comes to the gym to go on the treadmill (learn to run outside you tit), comes and sits next to you, infact so close that you're skin is touching and you get all his sweat AND THEN KICKS UP A CONVERSATION ABOUT WHEN HE WAS A TEENAGER AND PLAYED SPORTS!!

old man, no offense but i dont care. i want my alone time. i want to relax. i want you to fuck off

thx

 

[T_man]

geez i felt good, but mean after that one

 

[T_man]

and then you get the immensely skinny guys who come to the gym, sit around for 10 mins, do one set of backbreaker curls because they're swinging like george of the jungle, then sits for another 10 mins hogging the bench and proceeds to do tricep pushdowns except its more of a lat push down because he's moving at his shoulder because he's put on so much weight just to look macho.

and then you get the idiots who put as much weight as possible on the smith machine, and proceed to break their lower back as they try to do one rep, but bring the weight down from where it was, the lift it onto the first notch above the bar at which place they can latch the bar and pretend they did a massive 1RM

no

gtfo the gym

 

[spangdangler]

Don't forget, More Skinny and Mouthy bitches...

Don't forget those dumb fucks who load up the leg press machine with as much weight as it will hold and then proceed to rep out two or three reps barely bending their knees.
JEEZA's, ya' fucks! Be a a real man, drop the weight in half and bring your knees to your chin! FUCKAZ

 

[spangdangler]

After a hard workout
beat up yourself pretty bad because it was squats and deadlifts day
treat yourself with that once a week sauna

and some fat 80 year old fat fuck who forgot his zimmerframe and comes to the gym to go on the treadmill (learn to run outside you tit), comes and sits next to you, infact so close that you're skin is touching and you get all his sweat AND THEN KICKS UP A CONVERSATION ABOUT WHEN HE WAS A TEENAGER AND PLAYED SPORTS!!

old man, no offense but i dont care. i want my alone time. i want to relax. i want you to fuck off

thx

Don't get me wrong , I got respect for the old timers, but DAMMIT, when I get old I aint gunna gross out the young guys by walking around in the locker room holding my towel to the side (as if I'm proud of my tiny wrinkled up mushroom) as all my saggyness hangs all over the place. Do they not respect, or what? What's wrong with people?

 

[Dazino]

Oh god, only three people who go to my gym are not fucking idiots. The rest go and do cardio for an hour and leave, or lift 20 pounds on all the Johnson machines...and keep using the same amount every damn time. I'm close with the other three guys, who are serious about their workouts, and know what the fuck their doing. (My gym is actually inside my condominium, so the community can use it.)

Well, one time, during one of my afternoon workouts, i'm halfway done with my shoulder press, and a group of kids walk into the gym (Around 13-15 years old). They are fully clothed in jeans and it is obvious they didn't come to work out. They proceeded to sit on all the equipment and talk. Just talking, and nothing else! Fucking kids! I had to shoo them off a piece of equipment I wanted to use twice, but i'm a nice guy, so I kept to myself.

Now, that's pretty bad, but I let it go. Next week....they came in again. All sat in the same area, taking up benches and chatting to each other. I had just finished with my warm ups, and needed to use the bench, which this kid with spiked hair was sitting on. I told him to move it. He told me he was using it! This fucking cock who is sitting talking to his buddies told me I cant use the bench because he is USING it? I fucking snapped. Flipped the fucker right off the bench, and when he got up to confront me, I growled at him. I actually bared my teeth and growled at him. Makes me laugh now, but I haven't seen them in the gym since.

 

[Built]

I would have paid money to see that!

Hahahahahahaha kid must have SHIT himself!

 

[Patrick_01]

I fucking snapped. Flipped the fucker right off the bench, and when he got up to confront me, I growled at him. I actually bared my teeth and growled at him. Makes me laugh now, but I haven't seen them in the gym since.

Good stuff!

 

[the.powerhouse]

I was in the gym a few weeks ago and this ape man thought he was by himself. He took his t-shirt of and started doing poses infront of the mirror (I kid you not). Hairy bugger too. Was well imbarrased when he realised he wasn't in there alone!