Gym Idiot Sightings 2007

[big_fella_andy]

im going to put myself in this catogory actually, its not something ive done at the gym but its sports related. i was up town today, and not sure if youve seen the "nike Pro" tops? their like skin tight tops, and their designed to extract heat out of your body somehow. not sure how, but it works, their wicked....

anyways, im in changing room, looking in mirror, thinking "its pretty good this like"

so i try to take it off to purchase it...
i was stuck for a few minutes trying to get out of the top. their that tight, its near imposible to get them off! moral of story - baught a large lol. but it was pretty idiotic of me getting stuck in this torso sized body condom! quite funny though!

 

[juggernaut]

Here.

 

[ponyboy]

All right, last night I got a little nasty but it was deserved. The gym was packed of course on a Monday evening and I was doing my best to work with my clients. By the third session I was so frustrated I was ready to scream after seeing two guys take up one dual cable for 20 minutes doing ten sets of crossovers, an idiot trying to reserve three ab benches during prime time and various other moronic things.

I head for the power rack so my client can do squats (and she's a woman who can outlift most guys) and there is a skinny young guy doing barbell curls in it. So I ask how many sets he has left and he says 6. So I ask him if he might be able to do those barbell curls somewhere else like ANYWHERE because that's an exercise that doesn't require the power rack to do. He looks confused. So I actually took him by the arm (the entire room was looking at this point BTW) and walked him over to where the EZ curl bars were and asked him how much weight he was using, handed him a barbell with that weight and walked away. He didn't say anything but two other guys in the room (and my client) started laughing their asses off. And she got to do her squats. DON'T CURL IN THE BLOODY POWER RACK OR ON THE SQUAT RACK!

Then of course I'm telling the story to this one idiot I work with about the guy doing curls in a power rack and he says "What's wrong with that? I do curls in the power rack" I had to bite my tongue.

 

[juggernaut]

uhh ponyboy, perhaps we might want to switch to decaf?

 

[DOMS]

uhh ponyboy, perhaps we might want to switch to decaf?

I think he should beat the guy to death with an oly bar as an example.

 

[DOMS]

Has anyone seen someone that was drunk and trying to workout?

 

[juggernaut]

I think he should beat the guy to death with an oly bar as an example.

or my weapon of choice: 45 lb plate.

 

[obz]

Not so much of a pure gym idiot, as someone I would just preffer to fall off the face of the planet, but theres this guy at my gym... I almost can't work out when he's there.

He coughs, ALOT. And it's not your ordinary garden variety cough, its this wierd ass ultra annoying, makes you wanna bash his skull in with a hockey stick cough.

Basically he 'hiccups' but, like he's being hit in the nuts, super high pitched and LOUD, then 'AHEM's, then coughs... it's like 3 teirs of pure annoyance. And he does it perpetually. In the locker room, on the floor, at the desk. 20 in a minute I once counted. HICCUP... AHEM... COUGH, over and over and fucking over again.

 

[katt]

All right, last night I got a little nasty but it was deserved. The gym was packed of course on a Monday evening and I was doing my best to work with my clients. By the third session I was so frustrated I was ready to scream after seeing two guys take up one dual cable for 20 minutes doing ten sets of crossovers, an idiot trying to reserve three ab benches during prime time and various other moronic things.

I head for the power rack so my client can do squats (and she's a woman who can outlift most guys) and there is a skinny young guy doing barbell curls in it. So I ask how many sets he has left and he says 6. So I ask him if he might be able to do those barbell curls somewhere else like ANYWHERE because that's an exercise that doesn't require the power rack to do. He looks confused. So I actually took him by the arm (the entire room was looking at this point BTW) and walked him over to where the EZ curl bars were and asked him how much weight he was using, handed him a barbell with that weight and walked away. He didn't say anything but two other guys in the room (and my client) started laughing their asses off. And she got to do her squats. DON'T CURL IN THE BLOODY POWER RACK OR ON THE SQUAT RACK!

Then of course I'm telling the story to this one idiot I work with about the guy doing curls in a power rack and he says "What's wrong with that? I do curls in the power rack" I had to bite my tongue.

I just saw a guy do this last night - had the oly bar and 10 lb plates on each side doing his curls in the rack... geez

 

[yuppy]

I was at the gym yesterday and this fat lady was trying to do leg extensions on the lying leg curl machine. Probably doesn't sound that funny but i swear i nearly pissed myself

holy fuck.... what was she lying on her back and pushing it up? (not sittin in the chair) ? lol

 

[Pylon]

I almost accidentally shoved an oly bar up some lady's ass yesterday. My gym is divided, with machines on one side, free weights on the other. I was set up for deadlifts, and she was the only other person on that side of the gym. So of course she has to do her 10 lb bb curls 12 inches away from the end of my bar. And I wasn't even close to the bb rack or the mirror! I have no idea what she was doing there (other than trying really hard not to notice me behind her.)

 

[juggernaut]

He coughs, ALOT. And it's not your ordinary garden variety cough, its this wierd ass ultra annoying, makes you wanna bash his skull in with a hockey stick cough.

Offer him a ricolah and use my weapon of choice.

 

[silverback]

Ok I've been really weak, and had my first workout of the year last night, yes yes I know WEAK! But I thought you guy's were joking when you told these stories; but no- your right! I went to my gym wanting to rip into the weights, but first problem- the place was heaving, I've never seen so many people there and most of them were doing some kind of weird isometric calenstetic workout balancing ontop of one of those gym balls. Next I started getting those intimidation looks from all the matchstick boys- and yes they did have their sleeves rolled up to show off... what?
Once I found myself a good place on the pulldown machine, I loaded on the plates, got ready for my sess, bent down to take a quick swig of water, grabbed the handles, pulled, and smacked myself in chest cos ratboy who's been sat on the smith machine for the past hour and a half has nicked them when I was having drink.
Now I'm all for people getting fitter and healthier, but you wouldn't join a sailing club and then steal everybody else's sails and hog all the best spots while giving them dirty looks would you?
Never mind tho, it'll soon be febuary and we can have our benches back. Until may when all the 'get fit for summer crew' comes out!

 

[katt]

I almost accidentally shoved an oly bar up some lady's ass yesterday. My gym is divided, with machines on one side, free weights on the other. I was set up for deadlifts, and she was the only other person on that side of the gym. So of course she has to do her 10 lb bb curls 12 inches away from the end of my bar. And I wasn't even close to the bb rack or the mirror! I have no idea what she was doing there (other than trying really hard not to notice me behind her.)

Maybe she was tryin to hook up with you

 

[Gazhole]

This thread just gets better and better, hahaha.

 

[DiGiTaL]

perfect thread for me to whine and complain.
My gym is pretty big so we are loaded with full of "n00bz".

1) They do theri dumbbell curls right next to the dumbbell set thing, it pisses me off cause i need to go between them all the time.
2) Cable cross overs, wtf is with these guys they think they get so buffed doing that shit. One guy does 2 sorts of cable exercises for over 30mins, he like fuckin hogs it.

3) When im doing a dumbbell bench press, i finish my set, i get up and sit on the bench. Retards just come and sit behind me at the otehr edge of the bench and start doign their exercise. Man im gonna knock this guy out.
4) A bunch of fags who come there to socialize. Holy shit, just makes me so angry. its like 10 of them, they go and start talking about bodybuilders and bench press competition and when i see their "strongest" do curls, fucking 30lbs(each hand).

5) Machine hoggers, dropset and supersets are included in my routine, but these mother fuckers, you leave the machine for 0.002 seconds, there is 10people on it.

6) How in my gym, even if im lifting 2lbs I have to have a partner, ALways, someone to watch me...

This is why I am saving money for equipment at home. Damn, man dont they have some sort of gym where only certain people can go. Just to make people like us' life easyier.

 

[Samo]

Ha ha, I went to my local gym last night with my pal, I usualy train at home but my mate invited me so I thought what the hell. Anyway, we warmed up and set about our session, I noticed one guy in poticular cos he wouldn't move from the d/bell rack he was curling and pressing and pulling but he didn't move he was literally touching it the whole time.
I just finished my 2nd set of E-Z bar curls (32kg) and i went for some water, on my way back to my weights he had finally broken free from the rack, but, he was attempting my weight (I weigh 10.5 stone, he must have been 15 stone of, we'll say, 'relaxed muscle') he was jerking and grunting trying his hardest to lift my weight, it was helarious, then he let rip (farted) and everyone stopped looked and laughed uncontrolably . He dropped the weight and scurried back to the d/bell rack, what a prick. He must have watched little old me lift this weight, which took me a year or so to build up to from 10kg, and thought what a wuss I bet I can do that!
It's moments like this that motivate me to keep workin hard, so maybe these dicks do have a place in the gym

 

[StanUk]

lol, reading all these stories makes me kind of glad I workout at home

 

[Pianomahnn]

A few items I just thought of....

1) I will sometimes utilize a single rack or bench for extended periods of time. I've developed some specialized workouts for me. However, I have never turned someone down from working in with me. Ever. I fully embrace the "it's busy and people need to work out too" philosophy in life, and would hate it if someone did that to me. Yes, I'm using a certain piece of equipment for a while, but I'm not shutting anyone out. Incidentally, this happened just the other day. Guy asked to work in, but got tired of having to deal with resetting the equipment each switch-up. Sorry mang!

edit: Why are people so against working in with others? I realize it's not as ideal as having a gym to one's self, but you don't utilize the piece of equipment every single second of the time you're on it. People take breaks between sets...at least most people I know do. Additionally, why are you standing around shooting knives into my face waiting for me to leave? ASK TO WORK IN FOOL!! You'll just end up sitting around waiting even longer, getting weak while I swoule up.

2) This fucknugget was standing close to me, I was on the flat bench (which is bolted to the floor awefully close to the dumbell rack anyways). So, said fucknugget is on my left, standing directly in front of the dumbbell rack doing his HORRIBLY malformed curls. Does a set, puts them back, stays in front of the rack, does another set (without moving from position in front of rack), etc. ad nausem. Unreal. I almost stabbed him a plate. How do you stab someone with a plate, you ask? I don't know, but I imagine it would be painful to experience.

3) As much a I like having a gym with a heavy bag, why is it in such a busy area? This guy was all mofuggin' dancing around, bobbing and weaving, taking up far too many square feet of the exercise area. I don't want to hate, because it's the gym's fault for having it there, but pay attention to what is going on around you, please. I don't need you bobbin' all into my workout area!

4) FUCKERS in general.

 

[Gazhole]

I get the thing where people wont ask if they can use your rests on the equipment. There was this group of like 6 people just standing there about 15 feet away one time, staring at me, sighing, folding there arms. Basically trying to intimidate me off the equipment!

I had enough in the end and decided to joke around with them. Id get up look at my workout for the day on the piece of paper in my pocket, and look around the room like i was searching for a piece of equipment to use next.

They promptly pick up their shit, and start walking over to where i am, thinking im done. Of course i'm not done, so i just sit back down again and stare at them. They stop. They look confused, and a little uneasy about what to do next.

They walk back to their corner and start giving me evil looks again.

I lolled inside when i let somebody else go on it after me and not them .

 

[DOMS]

 

[BulkMeUp]

I dont get the standing around either. Last week i was at the seated cable rows. This guy stands to my right, a little out of my line of sight and loudly kept opening and snapping shut the cap of his water bottle and loudly shuffling his workout paper. I guess he was expecting me to turn around and ask him if he wanted to work out in between. why couldnt he walk around in front of me and politely ask! I always let people work in with me even if means changing the weight. With the exception of a couple of fuck heads, noone ever refused me when i ask.

The only time i stand around an give ppl the evil eye is when they are holding up the equipment but not working out, instead they are reading a newspaper or yakking on their cell or blabbering to another person.

 

[MCx2]

I dont get the standing around either. Last week i was at the seated cable rows. This guy stands to my right, a little out of my line of sight and loudly kept opening and snapping shut the cap of his water bottle and loudly shuffling his workout paper. I guess he was expecting me to turn around and ask him if he wanted to work out in between. why couldnt he walk around in front of me and politely ask! I always let people work in with me even if means changing the weight. With the exception of a couple of fuck heads, noone ever refused me when i ask.

The only time i stand around an give ppl the evil eye is when they are holding up the equipment but not working out, instead they are reading a newspaper or yakking on their cell or blabbering to another person.

I pretend I don't even see them. The same thing I do when people walk in my office on their cell phones and try to hand me work.

 

[BulkMeUp]

I pretend I don't even see them. The same thing I do when people walk in my office on their cell phones and try to hand me work.

Thats exactly what i did. I just went about doing my sets, ignored him and sat at the machine during my rests. He eventually moved off to do something else. If i see someone hovering around, i sometimes ask if the person wants to work out in between, but othertimes, i cant be bothered.

 

[Stewart14]

2) This fucknugget was standing close to me, I was on the flat bench (which is bolted to the floor awefully close to the dumbell rack anyways). So, said fucknugget is on my left, standing directly in front of the dumbbell rack doing his HORRIBLY malformed curls. Does a set, puts them back, stays in front of the rack, does another set (without moving from position in front of rack), etc. ad nausem. Unreal. I almost stabbed him a plate. How do you stab someone with a plate, you ask? I don't know, but I imagine it would be painful to experience.

 

[Pianomahnn]

While not a recent occurance, this happened at another XSport Fitness in a different town I used to live in.

I'm chillin' in the cable cross zone, keepin' it real with my mad swoule muscles, and a guy comes over and wants to work in. Being a good natured person, I obliged. Well, this ASSCLOWN decides to answer his cell phone.

PLEASE DIE NOW

*sigh* I really, really, really, really, really loath cell phones in the gym. I loathe them even more when they're being used WHILE sharing equipment with me.

 

[goob]

While not a recent occurance, this happened at another XSport Fitness in a different town I used to live in.

I'm chillin' in the cable cross zone, keepin' it real with my mad swoule muscles, and a guy comes over and wants to work in. Being a good natured person, I obliged. Well, this ASSCLOWN decides to answer his cell phone.

PLEASE DIE NOW

*sigh* I really, really, really, really, really loath cell phones in the gym. I loathe them even more when they're being used WHILE sharing equipment with me.

Sorry......

it was an important call.....

 

[I Are Baboon]

*sigh* I really, really, really, really, really loath cell phones in the gym. I loathe them even more when they're being used WHILE sharing equipment with me.

Yeah, some fat bastard n00b walked into the weight room tonight all huffin and puffin (apparently the walk from the locker room is pretty strenuous) while chatting on his cell phone. Fucking shit stench. I'm surprised the guy didn't eat his phone when he was done with the call.

 

[juggernaut]

Yeah, some fat bastard n00b walked into the weight room tonight all huffin and puffin (apparently the walk from the locker room is pretty strenuous) while chatting on his cell phone. Fucking shit stench. I'm surprised the guy didn't eat his phone when he was done with the call.

fat bastard nOOb...now that's not very nice is it?

 

[I Are Baboon]

fat bastard nOOb...now that's not very nice is it?

No, he definitely gets credit for trying, but the cell phone needs to go. Besides, we know he won't be there in a month.