One time with my ex i was getting a handjob, I was horny as hell and ready to blow.. which i did..at a huge velocity smack into my right eye. Jesus that stuff burnt and sorta stuck my eye together..so shes in hysterics im stumbling around half blind trip over my jeans (which were still around my ankles) and crack my lip open on a dresser. Worse still we had friends coming over in 10 minutes. Im sat there with a fat lip and one bloodshot eye while my ex smirks and I ignore embarrassing questions.
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most embarrassing sexual moment
- Thread starter djm277
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Nice introduction. Welcome to IM.
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lol
KataKlysm954
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JimSnow
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I was doing my ex-wife in the front yard at the street's edge once. A Toyota stopped - the driver flashed a badge... my wife darted off from insertion leaving me standing there fully erect. After some very quick "chit chat" I finally got away.
My wife was 'petrified', but laughing all the while when I finally got back to the house.
The next day, while I was mowing the front lawn... a Toyota driver honked and waved at me while driving by.
I was still naked.
My wife was 'petrified', but laughing all the while when I finally got back to the house.
The next day, while I was mowing the front lawn... a Toyota driver honked and waved at me while driving by.
I was still naked.
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Falling asleep while going down. That one cost me a fun night.
Oh, and the time I thought my dad wasn't home and I was letting my g/f ride me (loud) with the door open and he came up the stairs. He got a great view of her naked riding me and I think he was impressed. Still, I couldn't look him in the eye for a while after that.
Oh, and the time I thought my dad wasn't home and I was letting my g/f ride me (loud) with the door open and he came up the stairs. He got a great view of her naked riding me and I think he was impressed. Still, I couldn't look him in the eye for a while after that.
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I was fucking my ex in missionary position. We had dated for a couple of years and were into each other's sense of humor, so farting was old hats to us.
Well, in mid pump, I farted. And that fart brought friends.
My asshole turned into a shit spraying Windex bottle and it covered her shins, ankles, and MY sheets.
I couldnt stop laughing.
Well, in mid pump, I farted. And that fart brought friends.
My asshole turned into a shit spraying Windex bottle and it covered her shins, ankles, and MY sheets.
I couldnt stop laughing.
"impressed"? Don't you mean disturbed? I have to ask b/c I never knew my father as an adult so the idea of being caught in flagrante delicto by him seems, well...disturbing.
You are so romantic, I bet all the ladies crave your love techniques
BigPapaPump68
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LMAO. You my friend are one classy guy. If I had a sister, I would hook you two up.
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I think he was impressed by her body - she was tight, hot and Guyanese with gorgeous tits. He commented on the fact she seemed "quite nice looking". LOL.
SpeedyReedy5
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I am a virgin and dont plan on having sex till I am married. It is the way of GOD!
(This was both embarassing and lucky)
I was too drunk to screw the (probably 15 or 16 year old)
mexican whore sitting on my lap in a booth, in a Tijuana bordello
(granted, I was only 20 at the time)
I was too drunk to screw the (probably 15 or 16 year old)
mexican whore sitting on my lap in a booth, in a Tijuana bordello
(granted, I was only 20 at the time)
your going to hell!
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um..thank you for that service bulletin...
I ate my ex out good on her couch and she drug me into her bedroom by my shirt collar and as she was pulling me into the room my nose smacked into the side of the door so hard it started bleeding profusely.
...she made me dinner.
...and breakfast.
...she made me dinner.
...and breakfast.
stoooooopid.
Mine wasn't really me so to speak, but it was embarassing. I was going down on a girl and she started "squirting." The first one I didn't say anything, but the second and third squirts litterally drenched my hair, so I kinda jumped up and asked/yelled "Are you pissing on me?!?!" Needless to say she wobbled to the bathroom and locked herself in there for a good hour. She was soooo embarassed, but when I found out it wasn't urine, I wasn't so upset. I broke up with her a few weeks later.
I banged my ex g/f's mom and came in her. Then later told my ex about it at a bar in front of 30 or so people. Her stank crotch made me hate her so I really didn't care about hurting her feelings.
How was the lady?
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No, my dad would give props. Guys are guys.
