your making a speech to your men and your about to got into a hot zone
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Worst time to get a boner.....
- Thread starter min0 lee
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I always like sporting wood when going into a "hot zone"!
Had a girlfriend show me Polaroid pictures (Yes, I'm that old) of her parents doing it when I was in high school. I almost hurled right there. She just thought it was funny. Had to smoke two joints and drink a 1/2 bottle of JD just to get the images out of my head. Can't even imagine seeing a video of my own parents.
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I sported a rock solid boner during a massage. I was having really bad leg cramps, so I tried out deep tissue therapy. The chick was like 50, fat, and horrendously ugly, but when she started rubbing my groin, there was no stopping my dick from popping up like a jack in the box. I was embarrassed, because the chick was so old. I started laughing uncontrollably like someone pooted in church.
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Had a girlfriend show me Polaroid pictures (Yes, I'm that old) of her parents doing it when I was in high school. I almost hurled right there. She just thought it was funny. Had to smoke two joints and drink a 1/2 bottle of JD just to get the images out of my head. Can't even imagine seeing a video of my own parents.
i don't know what to say but how's this....my aunt had this friend that stayed with her when i was in my teens she asked me to get to her dresser in drawer on top and get her check book..can remember why.. but i go in there and i find it it was at the bottom..also i saw a big white thing with a handle it was about 1 foot long and it was a rubber dick..the friend waalk in and laughed i said this looks like mine what is it used for ..she said really does it she said hmmmmm....when my anut walking in and said i could go play vid games now...side note my aunt like to party..after that day her friend would alway look at me funny i didn't know why until i was a little older true story..i look back now and its some funny shit
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ding ding ding
"What is seconds before you pull into the parking lot at work?"
"What is seconds before you pull into the parking lot at work?"
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i don't know what to say but how's this....my aunt had this friend that stayed with her when i was in my teens she asked me to get to her dresser in drawer on top and get her check book..can remember why.. but i go in there and i find it it was at the bottom..also i saw a big white thing with a handle it was about 1 foot long and it was a rubber dick..the friend waalk in and laughed i said this looks like mine what is it used for ..she said really does it she said hmmmmm....when my anut walking in and said i could go play vid games now...side note my aunt like to party..after that day her friend would alway look at me funny i didn't know why until i was a little older true story..i look back now and its some funny shit
Very funny shit
I hate getting them when I have to take a shit, you sit down and have to try and force it down, there's a minimum clearance where if you are too high piss splash over the edge onto the back of your calfs or too low and your in the water all while hovering a few inches off of the seat....I had to do this after squats one day and got a cramp and plopped down on the seat smashing the tip of my dick right under the lip of the toilet bowl and bending it in half and then piss sprayed all over the back of my legs and ass....usually I stand and pee first then sit in that situation but that day my sphincter was losing the battle...
Hey! Spill the beans. What did you leave out???
Yep, I think kelju left out the part about the happy ending...
OK, but was the doctor hot? Maybe she was used to it.
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lol
Not a good thing.
Might get you out of a ticket.
...
Of course I'd rather have the ticket.
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Hey! Spill the beans. What did you leave out???
Corrected some misspelled words.
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^Oh, maaaaan! Lie to us.
yes. i got asked if i was cold a lot.
there was proof in my gallery but i airbrushed them out.
WOW YOU MUST NOT HAVE BIG TITS IF YOU DONT WEAR A BRA
2003 V-ROD
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GearsMcGilf
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A mate of mine in the 9th grade popped wood whilst wearing his gym shorts, you know those gay ass gym shorts and T's we used to have to wear. So naturally, the (female) PE teacher is teaching us how to do alpine sit-ups, where you lay on your back and raise your legs and sit up at the same time. The teacher calls him up to demonstrate for the rest of the class (males and females). He's lying on his back and pointing north big time. He's tries to curl one leg slightly over the other to hide it, but the teacher says "put your legs down son." Everyone's all snickering about his wood at this point and even pointing it out to the chicks in the class. It was obvious he was hating life at that point. But, the teacher didn't seem to have a clue.
After class was over, several guys were ripping him a new one over it and for the rest of the year, his nickname was high rise. When he'd catch the football, other kids would be yelling "over here high rise!"
After class was over, several guys were ripping him a new one over it and for the rest of the year, his nickname was high rise. When he'd catch the football, other kids would be yelling "over here high rise!"
jagbender
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jagbender
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Now That's a PRICK
jagbender
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My dog was standing in my lap the other night, playing tug with one of her brothers and she kept stepping on my dick so naturally it got excited from the rough activity....but it also gave me a funny bit for a comedy movie where a guy might be holding a rambunctious little kid who is jumping and stomping it's feet in his lap and he pops wood on accident and then someone comes over to talk to him and he stands to shake their hand and everyone sees he popped wood with a kid in his lap.....someone like Ben Stiller, he's trying to explain the kid was jumping on his junk and it was just a reflex....
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- When you're attending church
- In a wedding party offering a toast to the bride and groom
- While standing on a crowded bus
- At the pool
- During a funeral, especially while offering a eulogy
- Standing in line at a buffet
- At the doctor's office/hospital/in a gown awaiting an MRI
- While getting your teeth cleaned
- When you're having pants measured
- Sitting in a sauna
- In the locker room
- During a conversation with your current girlfriend about your ex girlfriend
- Waiting in the checkout line at the supermarket
- While giving your mother-in-law a hug
