How many of you think you could take a chimpanzee?

[Diesel618]

So I'm all stoned watching this special on vicious chimpanzee attacks, and I can't help but feel that with a 100-200 mg injection of test suspension, some tren built up in my blood, and a few halotestin, I could take one of those dumb fuckin things. They've got some pretty big hands, so if it caught you with one you'd more than likely be down for the count, but come on they're like 5 feet tall and several hundreds of thousands of years behind us in evolution.

No guns or knives either.

 

[Imosted]

it is almost impassible for a man to take out a chimpanzee, they are 'if i remember correct' 3 times stronger then us, but if you are lucky and somehow take its eyes out then you got a chance...

 

[ihateschoolmt]

Chimps are 5 times stronger and no human is a match for them according to this. Most animals can take a human 1 on 1 with no weapons. I think a raccoon could kill most people haha. Q: How Much Stronger Than Humans Are Chimpanzees? - Blogcritics Sci/Tech

 

[vortrit]

So I'm all stoned

Like this wasn't obvious after reading the title of the thread.

 

[fufu]

No one is taking down a chimp. They can rip your hands and feet off!

 

[MissionHockey]

A chimp would tie any human into a pretzel.

Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk

 

[Work IN Progress]

Have you ever seen those fuckers fight each other. Those bastards got no quit in em. No way are you gonna KO a primate. They take punches better than MMA champions

 

[DOMS]

Opposable thumbs, bitches!

.
.

 

[Diesel618]

I wonder what their testosterone levels are compared to humans. I can't find it on google or maybe I just don't know the right key words to use.

Upon further review, I don't much like my chances against a chimp.

Now what about a gorilla vs. bruce banner?

 

[Arnold]

In 1924, the Bronx Zoo tested the relative strength of a 165-pound man against a 165-pound chimpanzee. Using a dynamometer, which measures strength by the force of a pull on a spring, the man was able to pull 210 pounds. The chimp, on the other hand, pulled almost 900.

The lesson: Don’t mess with the apes. Pound for pound, chimpanzees are about five times stronger than humans. In fact, a human is no match for a chimpanzee, regardless of age or sex. In the same Bronx experiment, a 135-pound female chimp pulled a whopping 1,260 pounds. Scientists also estimate that, by the tender age of five, young chimpanzees are already stronger than adult humans.

Read more: Q: How Much Stronger Than Humans Are Chimpanzees? - Blogcritics Sci/Tech

 

[Little Wing]

yes you could take a chimp.













provided he's only a few days old and his mother or troop is nowhere around.

 

[Curt James]

So I'm all stoned watching this special on vicious chimpanzee attacks, and I can't help but feel that with a 100-200 mg injection of test suspension, some tren built up in my blood, and a few halotestin, I could take one of those dumb fuckin things. (snip)

No guns or knives either.

Bring along a bazooka, braaaaah.

No one is taking down a chimp. They can rip your hands and feet off!

This.

yes you could take a chimp.

Yer diabolical.

And if you believe fufu is kidding...

"Charla Nash said she saw the chimpanzee throw large objects around his cage, flash his teeth and pound the bars so violently his hands would bleed and the cage had to be rewelded. Nash, who appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" Wednesday, said she told the owner, Sandra Herold, eight or 10 times he was dangerous.

The Feb. 16 attack occurred when Herold asked her friend Nash to help lure the animal back into her house in Stamford. The chimpanzee ripped off Nash's hands, nose, lips and eyelids."

More @ Woman Attacked by Chimp Reveals Face on 'Oprah' - FoxNews.com
​

 

[Diesel618]

All you naysayers are makin me want to broadcast this fight and make millions off it.

Everything is impossible until someone mans up and does it.

Look for it on PPV. Commercials will be airing soon.

 

[Little Wing]

it would be suicide by stupidity. people would buy tickets but who gets the money when it's over? i say the chimp.

it always bugs me when some human does something abhorrable or idiotic and they kill the poor animal after like it doesn't deserve to go on living because it tidied up the natural order of things a bit.

 

[GFR]

Dale is the only human ever born who could beatup a chimp.

True story.

 

[LAM]

primates are mostly upper body strength, with weak lower legs the mechanics for punching power just isn't there. but they can surely rip your face off or arm out of socket with ease.

now kickboxing would be a different story, I'd fight the chimp from the movie Grandma's Boy

 

[blazeftp]

Nah.
There would be no contest.
Even someone like Mariusz Pudzianowski would last 2 min.

Now a bear.....that would be a fight.

 

[SilentBob187]

YouTube Video

I'll smoke it with you bro. We'll go to the looney bin together, I don't give a f*ck.

 

[lnvanry]

no tools or weapons?....pretty much takes away a humans number one advantage, the brain. There is a reason why our brain consumes more calories to function than any other portion of our body.

 

[stylus187]

Fuck no!! a chimp would bight the fuck out of you. For get about the bight, he could literall crush and tare your limbs. I have the oddest mental picture of actually fighting a chimp. It would be a very strange and awkward feeling, to punch a chimp in the face!! Im sorry, but if you think you could take a chimp... well, good luck with that!!!!!

 

[Curt James]

All you naysayers are makin me want to broadcast this fight and make millions off it.

Everything is impossible until someone mans up and does it.

Look for it on PPV. Commercials will be airing soon.

This would be the greatest fight since the Dhaliwal brothers took on the Siberian tiger at the San Francisco Zoo.

"In the ambulance to the hospital just after a tiger mauled 17-year-old Carlos Sousa Jr. to death, paramedics heard Sousa's two friends make a pact of silence about "what we did," the San Francisco Chronicle reports. The two brothers, accused by one witness of taunting the tiger before the attack, have since refused to let police search their car, cell phone records, and photos.

The two survivors had been drinking and using marijuana at the time of the attack, the Chronicle reports. Meanwhile, the San Francisco zoo has beefed up its enclosures and is expected to open today. Zoo officials said yesterday that the wall around its polar bear enclosure, like that of the tiger enclosure, also is too low and is being raised."

More @ SF Tiger Attack Survivors Made Silence Pact - Brothers vowed in ambulance not to talk to police, report says

And the one Dhaliwal brother said to the other, "Here, hold my beer!"

 

[stylus187]

In 1924, the Bronx Zoo tested the relative strength of a 165-pound man against a 165-pound chimpanzee. Using a dynamometer, which measures strength by the force of a pull on a spring, the man was able to pull 210 pounds. The chimp, on the other hand, pulled almost 900.

The lesson: Don???t mess with the apes. Pound for pound, chimpanzees are about five times stronger than humans. In fact, a human is no match for a chimpanzee, regardless of age or sex. In the same Bronx experiment, a 135-pound female chimp pulled a whopping 1,260 pounds. Scientists also estimate that, by the tender age of five, young chimpanzees are already stronger than adult humans.

Read more: Q: How Much Stronger Than Humans Are Chimpanzees? - Blogcritics Sci/Tech

No shit!!! You have to be fucking crazier then a shithouse rat, if you think you could take a chimp!!

 

[Imosted]

The only person who take out a chimpanzee is Chuck Norris.
Anyone can piss on the floor, but chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling!!!!
He is the MAN

 

[PreMier]

Bring along a bazooka, braaaaah.



This.



Yer diabolical.

And if you believe fufu is kidding...

"Charla Nash said she saw the chimpanzee throw large objects around his cage, flash his teeth and pound the bars so violently his hands would bleed and the cage had to be rewelded. Nash, who appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" Wednesday, said she told the owner, Sandra Herold, eight or 10 times he was dangerous.

The Feb. 16 attack occurred when Herold asked her friend Nash to help lure the animal back into her house in Stamford. The chimpanzee ripped off Nash's hands, nose, lips and eyelids."

More @ Woman Attacked by Chimp Reveals Face on 'Oprah' - FoxNews.com
​

damn.. thats gnarly http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Chimp-Attack-Victim-Charla-Nash-Shows-Her-Face/1

 

[PreMier]

Nah.
There would be no contest.
Even someone like Mariusz Pudzianowski would last 2 min.

Now a bear.....that would be a fight.

i dont know about that.. your talking about one of the strongest humans ever. on average, a man would get a beat down.. but a strongman? it might be a different story

 

[Diesel618]

Ok brass knuckles are allowed. But nothing else.

 

[carmineb]

i heard they distract u by swinging at your face and when your arms are up, they go for your balls and rip them out of their pouch.... it is their basic move. to castrate u .... that is why I would stand a small chance, the moment they go for mine, I'd be like sorry sucker, wife got to them first! .

 

[david]

Chimps are definitely viscious and tough and would probably rip me to shreds.

 

[GFR]

primates are mostly upper body strength, with weak lower legs the mechanics for punching power just isn't there.

HAHAHAHAH


Dunce post of the month.

Next thing you will tell us is Astronauts don't eat real food.

 

[Curt James]

Ok brass knuckles are allowed. But nothing else.

It would eat the knucks and your fist.



PreMier, right? I Googled for the story and then saw her... face. Not good.