Just some thoughts, as I enter my 10.5 week mark (which now has become my 13 week mark since I changed comps, but still)...
Dieting is fun to me. It is a challenge, and as such, it is fun. it is like a game i am playing against myself. A "let's see how long i can go without fucking it up" kind of game. And so far, I'm winning. Big time. Even the things I'm 'allowed" to have, like coffee, gum, and diet soda... sure i've had a few but not as many as i had when i wasn't officially cutting. It's like i know i have to be damn serious and i am. This is farking amazing to me. It feels easy.
For example, the birthday cake yesterday was not even a problem. I stared it down, and then eventually moved with my diet food to another area where i didn't have to look at it's lovely, moist and golden, spongelike texture, and creamy chocolate frosting. The first sight of the cake sent my mind racing, and all I could think about for the next 10 or 15 minutes was diving head first into that cake.
But as quickly as my inner child did a happy dance, I regained my composure and focus.
I am cutting. I am on a mission. I have a goal. Cake is not part of the road to this goal, therefore, cake=bad. Cake=I lose this game. And just like that I stopped wanting the damn cake.
In much the same way, i have passed up various tempting food items in the past week. Items I might have at least sampled had I not been on a cutting diet. Cookies, muffins, flan, brownies... Yet I have solidly stuck to my chicken, turkey, brown rice, oats and sweet potatoes.
I am unphased. I am unstoppable. The coolest thing about dieting this seriously is that the longer I go without screwing up, the more motivated I am to keep it that way. I'm like the Ken Jennings of contest dieting! Then again, he eventually did lose Jeopardy... if you consider walking away a millionaire, 'losing' that is. hahahaha!
ok. i am delirious. i'm going to bed now. i will re-read this in the morning and wonder what the hell i was thinking.
