I think that I love you all! ... no I take that back. I KNOW I do!
Jill- no specific diet plan. I dont want to get wrapped up in the fine guidelines or specfics of something that I HAVE to follow. Ive dieted before, both for myself and now precom, Ive ate to build muscle, and Ive ate to be healthy... and that is what Im going to do. Be healthy and not get fat.

I do have a possible photo shoot for fitness appearal catalogue here in a couple weeks so I have to stay together for a while. hehe.
I just want to maintain... Im not looking to add more muscle anymore. I just want to lift heavy!
LBN- I feel a million times better. I feel as though a ton of stress has just vanished. no more constant worrying!
Jstar- Im glad that there is someone that can relate to how I felt. I really dont think Ill ever want to compete again. I know figures an option.. heck Im too lean for that now at 10%bf..and I have too much muscle anyways. I just think that for now in my life I want to enjoy it and not push myself to a competitive level..live life for me. ya know. but you can most certainly PM me if you'd like girl! thanks!
David- OMG!! funny story. In my grade 12 health class we had to pick a song that best described ourselves and play it to the class and then tell why it was us. anyways I picked "Its my Life" by Bon Jovi!!!

thats SOO ironic that you shoud bring that up! lol
the song is veryyyy true tho!
I really appreciate your understanding!
Heather- could you pass me some tissues girl?

aww that was so touching, really. I dont know how anyone could call me an inspriation, gosh.. I told a few ppl today that I wasnt going to compete and they said that I just didnt have the disipline to get to stage.. unless they actaully put themselves through the hellish diet I think they should shut their traps.
I always was a big believer in moderation and enjoying life.. although I do tend to me hard on myself a lot I hate seeing others get down on themselves for one slip up. life isnt a day long, its many years.. and it takes time for us to reach our goals. and enjoying every part of it as we attempt to get there is what counts eh!
basically to sum it up I just want to live a joyful and satisfied life and not let bb consume me and become an obsession where it goes to extremes. thanks for the support girl! husg backatcha!
NT- thanks! dont you worry... NONE of my hard work is going down the drain. I will continue to work heard and lift.. its my passion. but competing is not!
thanks Cyndi!!

can always count on everyones supprt!