OK here is my journal.

[danilee]

With my journal, I am going to schedule certain things like sleep in with it..Working at night and having an eratic schedule has done me in a number of times. A regualr sleep wake cycle is tough, especilly this morning my apt complex had roofers working on the roof at 8am! When you get to bed at 5am everynight, stuff like that can really throw you and your scheduale off...I don't like working nights, because it seems everyone around me gets to keep their schedule when I am the one left with bags under my eyes..

I will tell you all somthing, Hawaii is a beautiful place, I have lived here 1.5 years, and have not even BEGUN to do the things I dreamt I would...Yes I have been swimming with sea turtles, but working at night really cuts into enjoying a place like this..

I have not been to the other islands yet, Kaui is my next destination, I want to try a tantra workshop there...Anyways, here was my day.

I did not work today, but had a heck of a time staying on my sleeping schedule(see above)

Wake up
coffee half and half stevia

Meal 1
2 whole eggs
6 egg beaters
1/2 tbs butter

Meal 2
6 oz chicken
1tbs pb
1/2 tbs butter
broccoli

Meal 3
metrx low carb RTD (3 carbs)

Meal 4
2 scoops designer
1 tbs pb

meal 5
6 egg beaters
1 scoop desiger
2 tbs pb

Meal 6 CARB UP
I could'nt get ripe bananas at the store(somtimes I miss the nice supermarkts in the mainland
So I got a pint of blueberries and 2 peaches ate them both
then had
1.4 cup DRY oats
1 tbs PB

I am up to 2400 cals now, and I am stuffed and it is like 4am, I have the sweet pot cooked and in the nuker, but I feel really full. I don't know if I should go for it...I don't mind being full It has been a long time since I ate soooo much good food for a carb up, I forget how filling WHOLE FOOD is...Cake does not make you feel this full...SO, I could stuff it down, and I think I should...I am sure my body will be thanking me this weekend for the extra fuel. If I add this up though it is going to be and EASY 2800 cals(maybe more) Is this alright? It is not like I was not eating this much before on carb ups, just sugar crap...

Today I did hammies and shoulders..VERY light on the shoulders though(light meaning HEAVY weights but hardly ANY SETS)

Hammies
3 sets moving up in weight each set Lying leg curl

4 sets Deadlifts. Stiff legged.

4 sets HEAVY overhead press with the hammerstrength equp.
2 sets upright rows...Going for 6-8 reps all sets.

OK nut. breakdown
2813 cals is this for fat loss
76 fat
271 carbs
261 pro(including all the starches)
OK
Danilee

 

[Fade]

Journals have to have pictures too.

 

[danilee]

Hi All,

Let's see my first offical week at training hard AND working hard did not cut it..Yesterday I deadlifted and I am sooooo extemly sore today it hurt to sit down, it hurt to get up, I could not get rid of the sorenss no matter what. Walking around funny all day. I ate good, took hot baths even did streching and warm ups...UHHHH

OK, Diet today.

meal 1
6 egg beaters
2 whole eggs
1/2 tbs butter

meal 2
3 scoop designer whey
1 tbs pb

meal 3
(chiles)
about 5 oz chicken and 6 cooked shrimp
1.5 glass red wine
2 boneless buffalo wings.
veggies with a bit of oil

meal 4
1 scoop desinger whey
6 egg beaters
2 tbs pb

meal 5
8 whites
1 yolk
1tbs butter

2270 cals...gotta get the breakdown later.

No training felt like crap, painkillers eased the hamstrings a bit, I did not work, would have been useless and in pain all night..My job is one that requires a certain SPUNK to do well, so I will just have to make up for it later this week..I for the past year or so, have not been able to find this balance...Either not working enough, or flat out lazying in the gym, not moving the weights I should be because of total fear of incomplete recovery, and then my finances suffering because I am a limping stripper I guess some guys have a fetish, but bitchy sore strippers are not the ones who bank

I have kept a training scheduale but it has not been as productive as it should be hence the fear of really pushing it, so that I can do my job...Do any of you have a physical job? Mine is physical and I have got to look pretty doing it to..I can't grimace every time I move

I have been really full today may have had too big of a carb load yesterday...

Drank the wine to ease my bod...I was kinda anxious that this program is not gonna work out for me the way I would like...I want to train for size and leanness(hardness) but I need to train hard, but not be so sore.

OK, enough of the rants..

I think I may go the legal gear route...There is a clinic in ca called new hope med that I believe(for a very large fee of course) will prescribe me legal gear..All blood test have to be done, and blood monitored. The DR is not cheap, but I don't want to risk street stuff, and I can afford this. I am hoping that it will allow recovery AND maybe some extra zest for life(work)

Has anyone ever heard of dealt with new hope here? I posted in the juice forum and no one commented on them...What yall think of my plan...Although I will not do this for a good 10 weeks or so, do you think I am asking too much of a cycle of anavar?

danilee

 

[danilee]

Today was a pretty good day.

Good sleep still sore in the hammies, impeaded work a bit, but luckily I did not have to do to much stage work tonight.

I think I will space my hammies a few days before the weekend say wens so that they have time to recover..chest does not get used too much, at least it is not streched over and over like hammies are while dancing so I think I will swap hammies for wens and chest and tris on thurs.

Today diet was good.

meal 1
2 yolks
9 whites
1tbs butter

meal 2
2 scoop designer
1tbs pb

meal 3
1 scoop designer
5 egg beaters
2 tbs pb

meal 4
1 scoop designer

meal 5
low carb myoplex

meal 6
5 oz swordfish,
1 tbs bleu cheese dressing
salad

About 1600 cals
67 fat
28 carbs
221 pro

no training still sore Think I may add another 200 or so cals. PB and eggs maybe...Got to keep my cals regular and not let myself get to hungry, and make up for it later...

ok added
1.5 tbs pb
.5 scoop des pro
5 egg whites

Good night
danilee

 

[Dr. Pain]

Some feedback for ya

Except for Brocoli and the berry binge, your program seems devoid of Phytonutrients and fiber! Try to have more berries w/shakes, and more greens and veggies w/solid meals!


Next, you are conflicted as to gaining LBM and losing BF at the same time! It can be done, butit takes much longer. DPw8 can give you a "Hardening" Program, if that is what you desire!

If you truely want size and mass, w/o much BF gain, (don't worry, it's a lengthy process w/o gear) Then here is a version of our "Clean Bulk" for women: (sorry about the "No Cardio" part as it obviously doesn't pertain to you)

Woman Bulking Program


Take a few days and work into this, up calories gradually!


Supps: Multi with meal one, 5 grams glutamine before training, 5 grams after, and 5 grams of creatine a day after loading


NO CARDIO, NO THERMOS for 5 weeks!


Meal #1
4 oz chicken or turkey breast
4 egg whites, 1 yolk
1/2 cup (measured before cooking) oatmeal (old fashion)

Meal #2
Protein Drink: 12-oz water, 2 scoops Protein powder
3 TBS heavy cream or 1 tbs oil blend and 4 strawberries or 1/2 banana (start w/berries, banana when gains stall)


Meal #3
6 oz chicken breast
2 cups salad
2 TBS Paul Newman???s Oil & Vinegar dressing
6 oz sweet potato or 3/4 cup of rice (brown)


Meal #4
6 oz chicken breast
1 cup vegetables or
2 scoop protein powder, 12 oz watwr 3 tbl cream or 1 tbs oil blend, 1/2 banana or 4 frozen strawbwerries


Meal #5
6 oz lean beef or chicken
1-cup vegetables
2 tsp Flax Oil
6 oz sweet potato or 3/4 cup of rice

Meal #6 except Sunday and Wednesday, shake like meals 2 and 4

Sunday and Wednesday have - a cup of oatmeal, 6-oz sweet potato, 4-oz banana, and 1-cup vegetables as a 6th meal.

Drink 1.5 gallons water daily


Protein sources are interchangable, fish, eggs, meat, poultry, protein powder, etc...so are meals, except the carb-ups

DP

 

[Dr. Pain]

If you choose "Fat Loss" only...or Hardening, please let us know!


DP

 

[J'Bo]

That sounds like a pretty good diet.

Are you really considering gear? Try the diet first girl.
You are tough, just suck up the pain and deal with it.
No need to enter the gear world.

Just look in the pic. forum and see what gear does to women.
You want to look like that?

 

[Stacey]

Okay I am kinda dumb when it comes to SOME bodybuiding talk.. somebody tell me what "gear" is??

 

[Leslie]

Hey Princess- I think gear is Steroids, but I could be wrong....

 

[Stacey]

well if it is.. you definatly should not get messed up with that crapola!! Do it naturally girl!!! You already have the body for it~ So its not going to be hard!!

 

[danilee]

Hey Guys..

DP, let me see some HARDENING DIET, when and if you get time.

J'bo, if I decide gear, it will be with the utter most carefulness, AND a doctors prescription...Nothing more than a little anavar, although I have not made the decsision yet I am leaning that way...I never throught I would consider it, ever, but once I got to Hawaii, and met ALOT of the fitness girls(alot of these girls you see in muscle mag and such) They are ALL juicing, not much...A little clen a little T3 maybe a little anavar, and most of them are BIKINI MODELS, not even bodybuilders...I realized that if I want to train for a high level comp, AND still be able to stay pretty lean(NOT RIPPED) because of my job, I am going to need to be honest with myself AND natural abilities. Hands down, I lose muscle if I can't get complete rest between workouts...Problem, I never get complete rest between workouts...I could change jobs, but it is not one I will be doing forever, and MOST don't quit their jobs to bodybuild...

I am training hard, but realize that is not always enough...I really apprectiate your concern, and in many ways you are right, but I also think that if you look at Monica Brant or Timea Mojoava, they look abousoutly STUNNING sexy and beatiful, and noone can tell me they are all natural...Gear if done responsibly can provide far more benefits than consequenses. I think if breast implants, tummy tucks and liposuction are the most popular plastic surgery procuderes in this country, I can't understand why people can't legally go through a Dr, and "BETTER" themeselves with hormones used responisbly. Birth Conrtol pills are the most prescribed "hormone" and "the Pill" does mess with natural hormones a women produces, seems no has a problem with that.

J'bo, also don't take this as an attack, I just wanted to let everyone know what my stance is here....BTW, Congrats on your WIN>...You are BEAUTIFUL!

 

[w8lifter]

Well said danilee!

 

[Dr. Pain]

See NG's Journal for an example of a "Hardening Program", you will have to up the portions and calories to suit your metabolism and BW!


DP

 

[danilee]

Today was a good day all around.

Yesterday at work was very easy energy wise so I was not sore or even really tired at all.

Did quads today as per w8 suggestion(thanks w8)

squats adding weight
1x15
1x10
1x6
1x6

hack sqaut
2 x 6

leg ext
3x8-10

abs weighted
4x10-12

FOOD

coffeew/ about 1tbs halfn half

meal 1
6.4 oz salmon
2 cup broc(as per pain)
1/2 tbs butter

meal 2
2.5 scoop designer pro
1 tbs pb

meal 3
1 yok
6 whites
1tbs butter

meall 4
2 tbs pb
6.5 oz chicken
2 cups broco
AND 2 cups peppers!

getting my veggies in!
meal 5 same as 4

meal 6
6 whites
.5 scoop designer
2 tbs peanut butter

breakdown
2159 cals
111 fat
36 carb
258 pro

How is this looking?

Dr Pain..I am currently trying to find a tweak to help with slowly leanning out but still stick to the outline of the NHE plan, which has me carbing up 2 times a week, but sticking to less than 60g carbs a day. I really feel good on this much food, not too hungry, no cravings...Carbs on whole foods(for the carb up) are MUCH differnt than carbs on junk as per The Anabolic Diet and other CKD like programs..Whole foods just DO A BODY GOOD I want to stay away from fruit and grains on the low days, and do fruit and grains as per NHE and your reccommendations on up days...I do not count veggies in my carb counts though, so I may be reaching about 60 without starches.

I feel a little funny eating this much and calling it a hardening diet...I need reassurance

OVERALL good day for eating, sleeping, AND training...

danilee

 

[w8lifter]

A nice tweak might be to replace some of the peanut butter & butter w/ flax seed oil

 

[Dr. Pain]

Originally posted by w8lifter
A nice tweak might be to replace some of the peanut butter & butter w/ flax seed oil

I agree!

Also, what you eat on your carb days is critical. I have seen your pictures and you do show some signs of IR (Insulin resistance).

A "go for it" meal versus a day...let alone two days in a row (bi-weekly is better)...will produce better results!


DP

 

[Stacey]

Danilee.. That was a very good post above where you compared Gear to birth control/ lipo/ breast implants!! Now I see where your coming from! Just be careful!

 

[Leslie]

Originally posted by Princess
Danilee.. That was a very good post above where you compared Gear to birth control/ lipo/ breast implants!! Now I see where your coming from! Just be careful!

I must agree with Princess- you presented your side very well! Just don't over do it!

 

[danilee]

W8, OK, I will indeed try and replace some pb with flax and or olive oil... I know, pb is the greatest stuff, and I give myself the go ahead, but as we see here, even if the macros workout ok, and the cals are not too high, there still can be too much of a good thing...Flax it is

danilee

 

[danilee]

Princess and leslie,

Thanks for the support...I have thought long and hard about this, there are pros and cons to everything in life...Living a healthy, happy life is one thing...Being and athlete is another...I would be one to say that compeitive athletes are not really worried about health...Running an ultra marathon(80 or more miles) CANNOT be healthy...If I decided to get serious about competing, I will then be entering a state of mind that is not all too healthy...Same as breast implants and other non essential surgiers(lips,tucks, ects) we live in a world that somtimes, what we think is beautiful healthy and happy is really just best case an illusion, worst case FLAT OUT UNHEALTHY. Me accepting, that it might not be healthy to drop 20 pounds and not drink water for 2 days because I want my skin shrink wrapped and translucent, then hey, the risk taking something responsibly is probably in line with the above...When you enter competition mindset, healthy DOES take a back seat.
Sorry this was a little broken, just an outpouring, not an articulation

take care
danilee

 

[danilee]

Hi All,
Today went well, both training and diet wise...I have felt pretty full, not used to eating so much food breakdowns as follows

Totals 2346 fat 100grams carb 150(carb up) pro 240
These counts DO NOT include veggies....I ate bunches of broccoli and peppers today...! Do I inculde veggie counts here? My instincts say no, cuz if I were to inculde it would more than likly be like 400 cals more, and I know that is not accurate because most of the cals are fiber,...Probably will just stress me out, and REALLY make me think I was eating too much.

meal 1
1 yolk
8 whites
1tbs olive oil

meal 2
6 oz chicken
peppers
1.5 tbs pb

meal 3
tuna(6oz)
1.5 tbs mayo

meal 4
2.5 scoop designer pro
2 tbs heavy cream

meal 5
6 oz chicken
brocoli and peppers
1.5 tbs pb

meal 6(carb up, split into 2 meals seperated by about 45 mins)
1 cup oats(dry)
1.5 cups berries(frozen no sugar added)
1 tbs pb(I know a bit much pb today, but I used mayo and olive oil above!)

second mini carb
3/4 cup dry oats
3/4 cup berries
1 tsp pb

Not a big fan of sweet pot. Even bought one to to carb up with, but I prefer more oats, at least for now. Also prefer berries to bananas(never was a fan of bananas at all) figured there is alot less sugar and starch in the berries so ate them twice..

training today.
Back and Bis
15 mins on the bike(plus 20 min fast walking the dog after workout)
Pulldowns
1 warm up 2 working sets
of 8 and 6, til failure.

high pulls on hammer strength.
3 sets
15, 6,6

pulley row
2 sets
15, 6

bis
machine preacher
2 heavy sets
8,6, failure

dumbell curl
2 sets or 8 failure.

That is it!

danilee

 

[Leslie]

Bump for Jbo-

 

[w8lifter]

Originally posted by danilee
Do I inculde veggie counts here? My instincts say no,

Trust your instincts

 

[danilee]

OK, yesterday was a little funky because I was was usure of what the cal count was until I went to the grocery today, and saw that there is indeed other brands of whipping cream, vs heavy whipping cream, so my cals were about 400 short of what I had assumed...

Today is a new day, w8 I ate LOTS of peanut butter, but Hey it was the only fat source in the house besides the cream

meal 1
2 scoops des. whey
3 tbs cream(the lighter stuff) so about 9 gs of fat per 3 tbs

meal 2
went to a vietnemise(SP?) place, just ordered their chicken salad house dressing on the side, I think the dressing which was chile pepper might have had a TAD of sugar, used about 2tbs, but it is WATER AND VINEGAR type dressing, not thick...THere was about a half oz or so of crushed peanuts on the salad as well...
about 5 oz chicken
.5 oz peanuts. dressing at this time N/A such a small amount.

meal 3
3 tbs cream
2 scoops designer whey

meal 4
6oz chicken
1.5 tbs pb
veggies

meal 5
same as 4 but 2 tbs pb instead of 1.5

meal 6
8 egg white
and yes more pb 2 tbs

totals
1892 cals
fat 92
carb 33 (not including veggies)
pro 240

Training,
hammies and shoulders
deads
2 warm up sets
2 working sets of 6

lying leg curl
3 sets
2 working sets of 8

Over head press hammer equip.
3 sets
2 working sets of 8

lateral raise,
moved up to 20 pound dumbell lateral raise arms straight and controled...Feeling good, because I could never do 20 nice and straight and feel it in the delts, but today I did and it motivated me, since my strength had stopped increaseing and seemed it was on the decline.

I also did 2 sets of rear delt raise

then 35 mins walking on the treadmill at an decent incline.

I am feeling kinda bloated right now, might be the very large increase in veggies...I will be honest that once I had severely dieted once, I had thought that I should always feel empty and hollow in the tummy...I realize though, that to be well feed is to have some food in the stomach...All though at the end of the day of eating 8 cups of broccoli you don't feel very attractive
I use to use exteme hunger to gauge whether it was OK to eat or not, or if I had done "good" for the day. It has taken some training, but I feel ok with feeling satisfied

OH, also got in 4 liters of water...

Take care
Danilee

 

[J'Bo]

Hey Danilee,
I geuss your right i should not say anything unless i know exactely what i am talking about. I do know though, Kary Odiatu has made awesome gains in the last year 100% clean. Anyone can do it, if you try hard enough and just deal with the aches.

I dont know anything about those types of gear. W8 are they available in Canada?

 

[Pitboss]

Danilee made a very similiar point that I use when asked why or would I use steroids. At my age... mid life crisis age.. steroids are my advantage to feel better about myself... just as many women turn to breast augmentation to make themselves feel better. I never considered this example to be used my a female but it can be.


Keep it up dani you're kicking arse!!!!!!!!! and it's great that you love PB so much but go get some Flax seed oil!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Eggs]

Hey Danilee! I've stopped by a few times without posting, but wanted to drop a note and say it sounds like you are doing great. Pics look good too



Hmm, 8 cups of brocolli huh? The things we do to ourselves

Keep it up!

Eggs

 

[danilee]

Hi All,

about 1am here, going to be headed to the gym and the store in a bit(thank goodness for 24hourfitness or I would never train with the hours I keep)

I wanted to comment first on J'bo, by no means was I hinting that you did not know what you were talking about...You are one bright chick I think though, many jump on the bandwagon, and claim that gear is unhealthy, will turn me into a "man" ect. When we really sometimes don't realize that we are a product of SOMONE ELSES ideas about health...Cosmetic surgery cannont be "SAFER" than doing low dose gear to reach the next level of performance. I do believe many can make AWESOME gains without gear...Heck, the first time I trained hard and dieted for a show I WAS AMAZED at what I had in me...When one though, wants to take it to the next level, and they are faced with imparied recovery ect...I for one get HORRIBLE cold sores and joint pain when in a cal reduced state for too long..I am also faced with basicly having even MORE issues with fat gain that someone else when it comes time to bulk...Call me crazy, or tell me I have body issues(don't most of us here?) but I can't (OK DON"T WANT TO) gain 10lbs, and 3 of that be muscle...Maybe it would be different if I did not make a living with my appearance, but I have to be SOMEWHAT lean to earn money, and that limits me in my quest to be the best female bodybuilder I can be.

I basicly stopped lying to myself and realized that I can't ALWAYS do everything perfectly...PERFECT ALL THE TIME, YEAR ROUND, is what it takes to be a good natty bodybuildier(of course there are exceptions)

As I said before, Timea, Monica, Lena, LOOK STUNNING AND SEXY..
HAs anyone followed Kelly Ryans career here? That girl is a great athlete, I give her many for that, but have you seen the way she has changed over the years...If you look at her older photos and her new ones it is a different girl...She not only has geared ALOT, but has had face surgery, implants, eyes lips and nose. All to be a champ...Somtimes this is what it takes...This is not a "Take me as I am" sport. I will not feel like I am cheating, or taking the easy way out at all either...I would never do a natty show if I was not natty...

I also can't picture kary O in my head, and while I am sure she is natural, understand many people in the biz don't come out and say, yeah I juice! I mean heck, the other day I was at a a bb show, and an ifbb pro, easy 265 lean weight was asked..."How can somone go about looking the way you do" and this guy said "Eat lots of protien, and drink protien supplements" I really don't like the way steriods are used in that manner...Making regular people feeling like they are somehow made wrong because they can't achieve that...Young kids, boys, often get discouraged when they don't blow up 20 pounds in 6 months...Like I said, plenty can be done without gear, but you don't get to be 3% bodyfat and 220 pounds by eating protien...

Try not to take this post the wrong way, I became slightly discourged when I found out the girls in the bikini comps out here were juicing... I did'nt even think Hawaii was that compeitive but even at the local level the top placings (usually, NOT ALWAYS) at least in my exp. have geared a bit.

OK, long winded off to the store, must get chicken...UPDATE TO FOLLOW.
Danilee

 

[w8lifter]

Originally posted by J'Bo

I dont know anything about those types of gear. W8 are they available in Canada?

I'm not sure what specific types of gear you're speaking of but yes, they would be available in Canada...I'm not so sure you'd get them w/ a script the way danilee is though

 

[danilee]

OK Guys,

I didn't make it to the gym OR the store..My carb up today anyway, and oats stay good forever, plenty in the cabinet.

Had a very long and draining talk with my sig other..We have been living together now for about 1.5 years, and I never really wanted to cohabit with anyone every again...I wanted a marriage or a dating(not monogamous) realtionship...When a women really becomes invovled with a man, it takes so much of her energy because I feel she does most of the emotinal work for the both of them...We know how men can just live like nothing is wrong most of the time Despite what I do for a living and my views on stuff like gear, my sexual escapades while not prudish, when I am settled, I am settled...

Basicly, he is an officer in the military...Family tried to bring him up right, got out of the inner city, and he got him self an ivy league education...Family is now respected in the community, and have handfuls of lawyers and Drs in this generation. He is a black man, and I am just a girl who is curious about customs, race and culture, and he attracted me...Well, now, I know we love each other dearly, I mean that true friendship stuff...That heavy bond that can move mountains if it must...I did soooo much dirt, in the name of NOT BEING MARRIED SO IT IS OK DON"T YA THINK!!!!

Well, now he is saying there are no doubts that he wants to get married, and that I am the one...He has told familiy ect...But he said this stuff about a month ago...We have not set a date, and the whole STRIPPING BIT, keeps comming up...I mean, everyone....Although there are many girls who have finished their education while dancing, there are many that KEEP DANCING even after they have that degree...The money IS JUST TOO GOOD!
Now, I don't have that degree, and at this time, jobs are SCARCE in Hawaii...He is afraid of all the social pressures that arise(being an officer) HE himself, has some issues, and he is not sure if it is because he is afraid of other questioning his CHARACTER...I understand this, but I would be the one doing the job I DON"T WANT TO, FOR OTHERS...He said he knows he does not want to think inside the box all the time, but it is hard not to in the conservative job he is in...He is in the military, and I know the date he is leaving...Does not seem right that I should commit like this, and KNOW he is leaving...man, I am bummed out..I have other plans and such for myself...The miltary also, if married too it, you give up A LOT...moving every 2 or 3 years...ALL THAT POLITICS IN THE OFFICER RANKS. I have ideas on what could work with that (the moving ect) but me just taking one tenth of what I earn now would get me no where...He claims I can do whatever I want he will take care of me...He is still a young man, although with a bright future, he CAN"T put me through school full time..

I don't know why I wrote this, maybe just to vent...Maybe to share how you can get your energy and zest for training and sticking to your diet taken away when energy pulls like this happen...Of course I started it But we have been talking about marrige with him on the sure end for the past year, and him knowing "I am the one" or so he told his mom 2 months ago...I want the security before I stop dancing, not through myself out there YET AGAIN.

SO anyways, no cheating on my diet, just didi'nt eat enough...Did not train, feel a tad guilty, but this is a lifestyle....Right

OK, more later
danilee